Novels by Ofelia Negra

HE REMAINED HOLED-UP, AS HE HAD SAID HE WOULD, but it was more of an ordeal than he expected. He could hardly bear it.His body was young and hard, it needed to be used. He would pace the room for hours on end… to the window, back to the couch, and around again… like a tiger in a cage. As he paced, memories would come Hooding in, torturing him. Pangs of remorse would stab at him, cause him to pause in his tracks and stare vacantly into space. He could not get Helen out of his thoughts… her kindness and selflessness, her love and devotion to him. He realized too late that it had been she he loved-she, the good, the warm, the simple. She was dead… vanished like a puff of air, leaving no trace behind. He could not believe it. lie had seen her poor twisted body, her purple face, and yet he could not accept the finality of it.And to think that he himself had planned to kill her, for this (he would draw the envelope from

HE TOSSED THE ENVELOPE ON THE KITCHEN TABLE, said, “There it is,” then sat down heavily on a wooden chair. She grabbed the envelope, opened it. She became hushed, her hands trembled, a wild, almost insane, light shone in her eyes. Then she passed the envelope back to him, suggested he return it to his jacket pocket. “Why!” he asked.“Don’t you think we ought to be leaving town? What if she calls the police?”“You know she wouldn’t!” he retorted angrily; and again a feeling of repulsion swept him. He had an urge to get to his feet, walk out the door and leave her forever. But he staved where he was, for his body would not rise from the chair. He told her all that had transpired between Helen and himself as they had parted; except that he omitted the hand-kissing incident, which had so strangely moved him. He thought she would not understand it; unlike himself, she would jeer at it and

WITH HIS THUMB ON THE AD he moved the paper over so Helen could read it.$5000 cash, lovely ranch-type home, 4 bedrooms, etcetera… he knew it by heart, for he had been staring at it for hours, staring and thinking. Thinking of Fran’s leaving for California in a day or two, of himself being left behind; of the chance let pass for a new life which might include a business of his own and respectability; and of Helen as she cared for him while he was ill, as she held his hand when he led her about on the purposeless shopping tours. Then the wrestling with his conscience as he had recalled the awful dream. The doubt, the uncertainty, the inner conflict. And at last the decision, final and irrevocable.“What do you think?” he asked softly.She shook her head, puzzled, frowning slightly. “I don’t know. We’ll have to drive out and see it, won’t we?”“No need to. I did that yest

THE FEVER DID NOT SWEEP ON HIM SUDDENLY. For several days he had been bothered with headaches and nausea.He had spent that afternoon with Fran, and when he returned home he lay down on the couch to rest while Helen prepared supper. “I may doze off,” he told her. “Wake me if I do.”When she woke him he told her he wasn’t hungry yet, to let him sleep a while longer. At ten he awoke with a start and tried to sit up. His stomach felt quivery, his head throbbed, every muscle in his body ached. Helen was seated beside the couch, watching him, her face drawn with anxiety. He asked her to help him get up, for he could not straighten his hack. She led him to the bed, helped him undress.“It’s cold in here,” he muttered, “get me some covers.”She covered him, tucked him in, yet he continued to shiver.“I’ve called the doctor,” she said. “He should b

WHEN JOE RETURNED THAT AFTERNOON it came as a bit of a shock to find Helen in bed.“It’s nothing, darling… nothing at all,” she assured him.Rut he knew that she was ill when he came close to her and looked down at the small wan face, the eyes circled with gray-tinged skin, and the lips trembling perceptibly even as they tried to form a smile.“I was walking in the sun, and… well… I suppose I should have had some protection for my head.” She told him that she had fainted, but insisted she was feeling much better now.“The sun wasn’t that hot this afternoon,” he said. “You’re run down, Helen. You haven’t been yourself lately.” He realized, as he uttered them that his words were true.He stayed with her till six, sitting beside the bed, holding her hand, chatting with her, thinking.“It’s because of us,” he told Fran later. “We

SO FRANCES DID AT LAST SUCCEED IN GETTING JOE TO SLEEP WITH HER, occasionally at any rate. One afternoon about a week later they were having breakfast together when she made a rather startling suggestion.She set down her fork and stared at him in silence, then suddenly announced that she was tired of it all. “Of what?” he asked. “All… all of it.”“The Club?”“That too. The long hours… working nights, sleeping days. And the worthless bums ogling me, and knowing what’s on their minds, it’s… well it’s wearing me clown! Worse than that, it’s beginning to show. This morning I happened to see myself in the mirror… caught myself unawares, I guess.”“'You look okay to me.”“Joe, I can’t go on sharing you with her.He knew as she said it that she had been building up to this. Knew that, being the sort

The night never seemed to end. Every now and again she would try to look at her “organic” notes and the textbooks. But everything blurred in front of her face. The letters made patterns which she knew were words but it was as if she couldn’t read and they didn’t make any sense to her.She took a shower and tried to wake herself up but it wasn’t mere fatigue which was plaguing her. She was crashing from the two solid weeks of speeding she had been doing. The sleepless nights, the coffee and finally the methadrine she had been using, came crashing down around her head.She could hardly walk straight and when she lay down on the couch to rest even the soft pillows didn’t feel good under her.Finally it was light and she forced herself to eat some breakfast. It tasted like straw going down and she chewed completely without enthusiasm.The exam was at nine o’clock and by eight-thirty there was a line off stude

Leaving the park finally was like coming down off a high mountain. In more ways than one they were all three coming off a high place.The sun, wind and stars had made them all very peaceful. None of them had felt like talking very much. They said what they needed to with their bodies and their faces.The roar of the highway was oppressive as they drove back onto the main road and headed south again. Sitting in the back of the van staring as the scenery rolled past in the windshield Sheila looked from one guy to the other.Carlos was hardly more than a boy and Jack for all his solemn mien was younger than she was in most ways. They were headed nowhere and Sheila remembered the first day she had been in the van.Uneasily she recalled how they gently ridiculed all the people who got in the truck and had plans and ambitions. They had tolerated her perhaps because she was beautiful or because at the moment she was running away like they were.But she to

I can’t go back there, Sheila thought, shaking her head. She stood outside Tammy’s place for a long time dying to go in but afraid she would turn her away after the way she had left.She was too proud to beg for help but she had no place to go. In her bag she had about thirty dollars. It wasn’t much but it was enough to split with.It was getting late. The sky was completely black and the stars had come peeping out one by one until they were spread across the sky like a blanket.Sheila looked up wistfully at them. Under the street lamp her face was streaked with the tracks of her tears as she looked up and wished she had that starry blanket to pull up over her.Then slowly she headed for the dormitory. It was always easy to find a place to crash there. That night she ended up sleeping in one of the lounges, the faded fiberglass curtains blowing in her face in the breeze.Stiff and very tired she got up in the morning and

It was a hard winter. The snow piled deep and cold on the side of the building. It froze into solid glaciers of frigid ice and burned Sheila’s hand when she slipped and fell on it.Taking her books to class was an arduous trip. The wind blew off the northern plains as if it had a vengeance. Bent on destroying all human feeling and it seemed to course down the streets scouring everything not bundled in four layers of wool.Sheila did indeed get straight “A’s”. She stared at her transcript when it came in the mail with exaggerated indifference. She even took care to leave it buried under her old school newspapers which she read only with contempt and snickering.By the end of February she was living with Bob. From the first time he had carried her home, he entranced her. His long powerful body, a dancer’s and acrobat’s mesmerized her until she could hardly keep her hands off him when he was near.Then there was T

It was okay, Sheila thought lying on her back in her room. Her paper pigeons were hung from the ceiling by the window and she watched them sway in the slight breeze.But I wish they hadn’t tricked me like that, she thought. It wasn’t fair getting me stoned. It just wasn’t fair!At that, she rolled over on her belly weeping and pounding the pillow. “It’s not right,” she said out loud. “They tricked me,” she pleaded if she were defending herself to someone accusing her of doing something wrong.All the time Tammy said she was my friend she was just lying, Sheila thought. All she cares about is having a good time. Well, that’s not my idea of a good time!“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, rolling back over on her back and clenching her fist at her mouth. The tears welled up in her eyes and her lips trembled as she tried to hold them back. But she couldn’t.

“Well come on Sheila,” Tammy yelled, “Don’t hold out on me!! Tell me what happened.” But Sheila just smirked and sat down in the kitchen looking self-satisfied. There was a long pause.“Nothing much happened,” Sheila said. “I mean it wasn’t all that special. I just went up to his office and we talked about organic chemistry. He’s a pretty nice guy.”“You mean you didn’t ball him?” she asked incredulously.“Oh yeah,” she said. “I fucked him. I mean I’m surprised at you Tammy, being so hung-up on that like it’s something special.” Sheila was smirking broadly.“You little bitch,” Tammy said laughing. “When you got her you were a virgin. So in two weeks you come across talking like it’s nothing to ball some guy in his office. You’re a pisser!! ”“Well, if you insist,” she said, “I&

Tuesday blended into Wednesday as the snow continued and Sue’s depression grew. Thursday dawned, clear and cold, and her spirits lifted a bit when she realized the kids would be home.Since their ‘welcome back’ fuck, Bernie’s interest in her seemed to have flagged again, and Sue counted it a blessing. For better or worse, she realized now that no man’s touch would ever do anything except make her skin crawl. Coming to grips with being gay hadn’t been as traumatic as she had always expected, though. The knowledge kind of snuck up on her, but she didn’t doubt it anymore. The difference in the way her body reacted to Christa’s touch and to Bernie’s made it glaringly obvious that her body had accepted it, even if her brain was behind the times.Her workday went by in a flash and she was pleasantly surprised to find only light traffic on way home. Her heart lifted when she pulled onto her street and saw her moth

Christa woke slowly, easing out of her dream world and back into the real one. She was able to enjoy the comfortable bed, and the warm, soft body next to her made the transition from sleeping to awake very enjoyable. Sue slept soundly next to her in the big bed, and the room was still dark, although a false dawn bathed the room with its weak luminescence. The deep rhythm of Sue’s breathing was comforting as was the heavy blanket.Christa could feel the cold air on her face, and realized the temperature must have fallen drastically, overnight. She hated the cold, but silently slipped out of the warm bed and went down the hall to turn the heat on for Sue. Since she was up, the small woman dressed quietly and went down to have a cigarette. The air outside was so cold her breath seemed to freeze, as it left her mouth. Even without the cigarette, a wreath of white vapor surrounded her head, when she exhaled. The entire back yard was covered in a deep layer of fresh snow. The

Trina watched quietly as her goddaughter exited the shop and headed off towards her car. Her arms were full of boxes and she had the blonde girl in tow. The old woman sipped her tea contemplatively. She had not expected to see Christa recover from her heartbreak so suddenly. It was quite a pleasant shock to see her back to her old self. The last time Trina had seen her she was drunk and so down the old woman feared she would try to harm herself. The young woman with her must be something quite special, but she was married and that was sure to cause her favorite more heartbreak. Trina rarely took a hand in any of her goddaughters’ lives, but Christa was special. Her mother had been Trina’s first lover and the old woman felt a special bond with the small butch.Rita came in and interrupted her meditation. The short black woman with flaming red hair and more piercings than Trina cared to count ran the shop during the evenings when the clientele changed from respectab

Sue groaned and rolled over when she heard the front door slam. She had awakened when Bernie did, but simply closed her eyes as he dragged himself from the bed. She was warm and cozy and really didn’t want to move because her body was sending warning signals from practically everywhere. To start with she had rug burn on her knees. Her thighs and calves were so sore they felt like she had run ten miles. Her pussy ached and throbbed, setting alarm bells off in her brain every time she moved. It felt swollen and was so tender, that even the light sheet lying across it caused her to wince when she moved. Her abs were sore as were her arms and shoulders. She basically felt like she had been run over by a truck and… and God, she wouldn’t trade the way she felt this morning for anything in the world! She found herself smiling even though she was sore and remembered Christa’s words.“If you say yes then this is going to be an all day fuck fest. I wo

Sue Prescott was to all appearances an ordinary suburban housewife. She was five foot ten and blonde with large full breasts and wide hips. Her legs were long and toned and her waist was trim. Sue worked out four times a week at the local gym and ran every morning to keep her body in shape. She lived in a big duplex with a nice green yard in the center of a very middle class neighborhood. Sue had two kids, drove a mini-van, worked from home as an internal auditor for one of the big companies in the city and was married to a man named Bernie. He drove a pickup truck and worked as foreman on a road construction crew. Her life was fairly idyllic and she and Bernie got along well even after ten years of marriage. Most of the time she was happy with her lot in life, except for the bad times. Sue supposed all marriages had their problems and went through rough times. Unlike so many people she had a name for her bad times.Football season. From the first kick off of the college seas