Amore Luca

 It was like every morning I looked up to see Miles my boyfriend not by my side once again. I had gotten used to it really, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt any less. He has this job that he hates talking about.

I had never met one of his coworkers nor had I ever been to his job. Every time I would tell him I was going to drop is lunch off he would get...

 weird and make up all these excuses for me not to come.

So eventually I got used to him leaving early in the morning and coming home late at night, his job made me scared for him. 

Sometimes he would come home with bruises that I know for a fucking fact he didn't leave with.

And every time I tried to ask him about it was 'oh don't worry about'. Don't get me wrong I love my boyfriend I love more than anything but I know he's hiding something, I just don't know what.

   Making my way out of bed I head to my bathroom and take a quick shower and brush my teeth, my outfit was simple since I didn't have anything planned for today. 

Blue-washed mom jeans and a plain white crop top.

I had just been making my way into the living area of my apartment when I had noticed the front door was open.

 I look around slowly but I don't see any sign of movement. Maybe Miles forgot to close it.

I thought to myself as I make my way to the door a tall and very skinny Allie decides to pop out from the corner almost giving me a heart attack,

 I scream as her presence appears in front of me making me put m,y hand on my chest to catch my breath.

"Holy shit Allie, what the heck? how did you even get in here?" I don't even get a response she's to busy laughing her ass off. "Allie," 

I say a little more aggressive so I could get her attention.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. The door was open and I mean... you should've seen your face." She states and continues to laugh a little bit longer. 

I end up closing and locking the door before I do anything else. 

"That wasn't funny, just pure childish," I add back, as I make my way to the kitchen. Once she heard that her laughing dialed down. 

"Oh please, why are you do grumpy anyways?" If only she knew.

"is it Miles?" oh she knew, of course, she knows. I look up at her and I feel as if I'm about to cry I don't want to cry because I cried myself to sleep last night. "yeah." was all I said before I stop what I was doing and looked up at her,

"I don't know what to do Allie, I mean. I love him but... he's been so distant." she walks over to me with a smile on her face. "sex"

 was all she said before she continued, "have sex with him, fuck his brains out, give him the best night ever to where he will never want to leave your side ever again."  

I try to put on a smile, but it fades faster than it came "that's the thing, we hadn't had sex in about 3 months. Believe me when I say I have tried but he's always 'i'm tired' or 'I'm busy' all these god damn fucking excuses." 

She gives me a look telling me to keep going, there is always more when I'm talking about Miles "I mean the sex is good, but I don't think that's what it is." 

I finish and I notice her face, disgust? I don't know what but she has her eyebrows raised.

"what?" I say knowing she has to speak her mind, "good? the sex was good? it wasn't great, or amazing or mind-blowing... Ella?" 

thinking about it, it wasn't any of them. I was bored, not of the sex but or maybe because of the sex... I don't know.

"it was normal..." I say shrugging my shoulders as if nothing was wrong with that. "Normal, Ella? what the hell? I love you but if your boyfriend isn't giving you mind-blowing sex... then girl, come on it's obvious"

I didn't get it, "what's obvious? what am I missing-" then it clicked "Wait. Do you think he sleeping around? do you think he's fucking someone else? are you saying he cheating on me?" 

By now I was freaking out, it all made sense he was always gone he barely even kissed me he would make up lame excuses not to have sex with me. 

"Look El, tonight give it another try. Try having sex with him and if it doesn't work... confront him."

confront him? about what, cheating? like he would ever admit to it I know him, he wouldn't just say he's fucking someone else. 

"Well... I mean I did just buy a new set from Victoria secret." I say as I give a little submissive smile.

"good. good. okay, I have work I just wanted to stop by and tell you that your parents want to talk to you about..."

 I hate it when she does that. She stops in the middle of her sentence and just expects me to start popping out answers. 

"about what?" she had taken a deep breath before she spoke, "Isabella." The name that came out of her mouth made my heart drop, I didn't want here anything about her.

 But if my parents want me to talk about her then something must be up. 

"why? why do they want to talk? why didn't they just call me and tell me, they told you? I love you but you and Isabella hated each other."

 I never knew why they hated each other but they did and no one ever talked about it.

Not even Allie, "her memorial." I told my parents I wasn't going to her memorial, Isabella hated that stuff, she even said she never wanted to have a funeral, but hey- my parents threw one anyway.

Isabella hated things all attention she hated parties and she even decided to stay at the local college dorms just to get away from the attention my family had at home.

"I'm not going, so you can tell them to stop asking and stop planning it, I don't care anymore." 

Allie's reaction didn't surprise me like I said before they hated each other. 

They couldn't even be in the same room as each other and if they were it was always giving each other death glares and physically fighting each other.

---

   Allie had left to go to work and I had been to the mall to get some new perfume. I decided I was going to have sex with Miles to see if what Allie had said could be true. I begged and I prayed it wasn't.

It was almost 11 and Miles had just begun coming in the door, I got up from the coach that I had once been watching TV on and headed towards him. 

"Hi, baby," I say with a big smile on my face. He looked down at me with a big smile.

"Ella... Hun what's up? you're in a mood," he says as he kisses me on the cheek. 

Effort.

he's putting in the effort, "I missed you, like really much. You weren't here when I got up." I had been following behind him as he went into our bedroom. 

"Yeah. sorry love, busy day." He sat down on the edge of the bed, did I forget to mention that Miles was from London and has the sexiest accent.

 and I made my move, I sat down on his lap to where my legs were behind his back. I slowly started placing kisses on his neck, 

"I love you," I say as I continue to plant kisses on his neck. He lets out a little laugh before speaking.

"I've missed you too, love." he tries to stand back up but I quickly place my hands on his chest to where he fell back down on the bed 

I crawl on top of him and place more kisses. I run my hands own his body

Until I reach his belt, I make my way to unbuckling it as I am still kissing around his face "I've been waiting for this" 

"Ella... Love, I missed you too but I'm not in the mood and I'm tired.." again? I stop and look up at him, tracing for something in his eyes, 

but I get nothing with that I go back to his belt with it almost undone he grabs my wrist aggressively tight.

"stop." I quickly look up at him and he is filled with anger, but why? I haven't even done anything. "what is wrong with you?" 

he tilts his head at my sudden words. "I've done nothing but try to love you and make you happy, and you continue to shut me out,"

"why? what am I doing Miles that is making you not want me, I mean look at me I think I'm god damn sexy. Miles- " I pause knowing what I'm about to say can ruin our relationship with my next words. " Are you cheating on me?"

he quickly gets up from the bed and stands in front of me "you're joking, right?" no I'm not. "Ella, love, don't do that." Now I was getting frustrated did he not see the fucking problem with this? 

"Don't do you what Miles? what am I doing? I'm asking a simple fucking question and you haven't answered it yet, are you or are you not cheating on me?"

 He plants the palm of his hand in his face and drops his hands down to his side in frustration.

 "God, Ella. No, I am not cheating on you, happy?" I can't believe this, as much as I want to believe him I can't. "Then what? what is it Miles... what do you want? what am I not doing right?"

He doesn't say anything for awhile he just looks at me blankly, "pleasing me, you're not pleasing me right." All the emotion I had felt for him gone, just like that. 

I wasn't pleasing him? I get up from the bed and head into the closest I grab my jacket and a pair of uggs.

"what are you doing Ella?" he asks as I walk past him, I grab my phone from the kitchen counter and turn around 

"Apparently I can't give you what you want, don't wait up for me," I say as I close the door behind me.