BEHIND THE MASK

I felt rejected by everyone. My parents, my friends, society maybe every living thing that had lungs out there hates my guts.I feel unwanted, useless, worthless, pathtetic, a loser, nobody all these feelings are hainting me making me feel like i don't matter at all. Maybe it shows on my face, but i try to paint a perfect picture and act strong while the fear is there am scared of being judged or questioned.I can't fight with my parents, because am struggling to find myself or my identitiy. I'll be the perfect son that my parents want me to be i won't disappoint them or maybe am trying to convince myself to be someone else that am not. The perfect son of Sofia and Fredrick woods, the heir of the woods empire , the business man my parents want, the obedient son. Those things don't define me, but what am i supposed to do with myself am clearly a mess and am panicking.Go to fancy dinner parties dress well and listen to boring business and health conversations whi

My friends Harry and Jake walked towards me during lunch."You look wasted Ryder what happened to you?" Harry asked curiously while cocking a brow at me."I had a few drinks and got laid." They stared at me in shock."You cheated on Susan with a random chick or you are so screwed Ryder" Jake says in a mocking tone."Emily isn't just a random chick" i say angrily.They shrug and accept defeat."Anyway there's a party going to take place the three of us are invite" Harry says coolly and smirks."So are you coming? Jake asks waiting for my response. I stay silent thinking of what to say the pressure of rejecting it is too much there all waiting for me say something about the invitation.When i recall my mother's words i ball my hands into fists under the table. "No son of mine will return wasted and drunk do you hear me Ryder!" she yells angrily.And i smirk inside."I think i'll go it might

My vision is burry when i head upstairs i can't make out a single face in this room their voices plus the loud music sounds like the buzzing of mouquitoes. And it's annoying me like hell. The muisc is loudly roaring in my ears as i stagger up the stairs unaware of my cuurent surroundings. The hall seems endless as i stumble and bump into people. And they are pissed as they throw insults at me."Sorry" i lazily mumble. As i walk further away from the loud funk techno music is slowly dying and the hall is getting more quite. There are multiple bedrooms and i can't decide which one to enter. I stumble into one of the room's and a girl screams and covers her bare breasts."Get out!" she yells angrily. And i chuckle and close the door."Well that was appealing" i mutter caustically. That girl might have been covering herself, but she looks like a blob in my eyes sorry, but blame the alcohol it's influencing my senses. I sigh deeply and

What the hell have i done!I woke up with regret my emotions were mixed and i couldn't think clearly i was confused with all these new feelings. I felt different and u had Max's cologne all over my body. I couldn't restrain myself the tempatation was too much to handle what was i supposed to do?"I was drunk and wasted last night and that's partly my fault. Glancing at my other side Max was long gone his spot was empty. A gray piece of paper was neatly folded on the dresser. I hurridely grab the piece of writing.LAST NIGHT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN P.S MY NUMBER(9187625435262)He left me his number. I slept with a man oh no my mother is going to kill me if she ever finds out about this one night stand. Susan was right all along i just didn't want to accept that it was true. I thought it was the alcohol affecting me, but it turns out am actually attracted to men and am having a breakdown.