THE FUNERAL

Present-day

The Funeral

Sebastian’s story

It has been so long since my sister left, and a lot of things happened in between, the pack had been divided, mother had grown old and father had died. There was a point where everything stopped, the wind, the flowing of the river near our house, the scent of the flowers; but I kept going as now I was an Alpha.

My world without Victoria was colder, but I was accustomed to it. There was an ache that came, but then was gone and always returned when I had my lonely moments. She was like a silhouette walked out from a photograph, the same that I was keeping on my nightstand. It was a picture with her and me, back when father was alive, mother had strength, and we as a pack were strong. I wanted so much to keep her close, to talk and laugh like we used to, and I know that her absence is downing on me. So I begged her in my mind to please understand that nothing good or bad could come out of it. I was fooling myself that maybe in a year or two we would be together again, she would return and we could have that happiness and closeness that we lost. Time passing could dull anything, but not my love for her, my dear sister, Victoria.

„We are ready, my son; your father awaits us!” my mother’s faint voice echoed in my room. She was sad; now for me sad seemed so childish. Why being sad about something or someone that had already gone? I had so many memories about my childhood, about my father teaching me to fight, to hunt, to defend myself; but also cold ones, when our father was missing the most important parts of our lives. He was there just to teach us how to fight; we needed a hug, it was not there; we needed a goodnight kiss, it was never there. And that is all they were going to stay, memories.

„Any news from Victoria?” the same voice but when naming her, mother went down on a path straight to hell. I turned to face her but her face was somehow unreadable. Behind that masked smile waiting for me to tell her Vicky is going to be here any minute, there were sadness and pain. I was not blaming her for being afraid of my answer, because somehow she already knew it.

„ Mother…” and my words stuck in my throat. How can I say this without hurting her? This was one of those times when I felt that my whole world was disappearing in front of me. I wanted to release her from this pain, as I could almost smell it. I also smelled her fear of being alone, her every moment of despair. And then I knew I had to stretch my arms and hold her. I never did that. And not because of lack of love; but because I was raised not to be weak, I was told hundreds of times a day crying is for fragile people; I was taught to always have a straight position and never turn my back on our enemies. But I was never meant to care, to give a hug, or a kiss.

She melted in my arms, placing her head against my chest, and sobbed so many times that I started counting. A new feeling was born; belonging. And it was so damn unfamiliar to me, yet somewhere beneath my heart, I knew this was right. Maybe I should have remembered her perfume, but that was impossible as she was never in my arms. I wrapped her closer to me, as I wanted to erase all sorrow and agony from both of us, and I wanted to live what I had never lived. We sank in each other's embrace. Her touch made the room warmer somehow. Oh, and how cold I felt when I had to let her go.

„ I am sorry, but she is not going to be here” I mumbled almost whispering into her ear. I wanted to whisper those words so she would be protected against their roughness.

„ I understand…” she muttered almost for herself but did she really understand? Or her suffering blinded her so much and she just surrendered without even a fight. ”Let us go, Sebastian! We cannot let your father wait any longer.”

As we were descending the stairs, way too familiar faces started to reveal. A few of our far away uncles, some aunts that only God knew what they came for, and cousin Liam. He was actually one of the few I really missed. I had my pack outside guarding in their wolf shape led by my Beta, Alexander.

„Will you excuse me for a while, Mother?” I hated to leave her alone but I had to find out why so many familiar faces, yet unfriendly came to my Father’s funeral.

„My dear cousin Liam, I'm glad you could come, my Father would have appreciated it. As I approached him in a friendly embrace, I whispered only for his ears. ”What did all these people come here? Don’t tell me they are mourning, I don’t buy it!” my voice went so low that I almost growled and my eyes became reddish with anger.

„My deepest condolences Bash, really I am sorry!” not answering or avoiding the question was not a wise thing to do. But he was Liam, and we liked Liam. „ As for those I really don’t have a clue, but…I shall let the Council know and maybe we can convene a meeting, what do you say?” Liam knew how to smoothen me so I voted for that meeting after the funeral.

We don’t bury our dead in churches or with priests. It was the next in line as an Alpha and a few more of the relatives who carried the coffin to its resting place. I, Liam, and Mother were staying in front of the procession. Everyone’s heads were down; maybe for respect or maybe for fear of yet to come. The main room where Father was resting was adorned with black ornaments, black fabrics on all the chairs, and candles. Their light was dim exactly like his life in the last couple of years.

I chose to go next to my mother until I and my other cousins from the family would eventually place him in his royal crypt. The coffin was open for everyone to see my Father’s weakness and compare now with my strength. I let it this way to be some kind of warning for the intruders to know the pack is not alone.

I held Mother’s shaky hand throughout the whole ceremony. She wiped bitter tears and from time to time she rested on my shoulder. It all seemed so slow I had it in looking at these so-called family faces. I don’t mourn nor do I show grief as Mother does but these guys were too much. They seemed worried but at the same time, they were like looking for something or someone.

It was time to put Father in his resting place. I once thought he was eternal but now he went so deep into a cold world, hurting Mother and separating me from Vicky. Even if he is dead and almost buried she could not return. It has been so many years since she made a world of her own. I and she always have a sixth sense, a second sight of giving voice to our thoughts.

I watched peacefully as my other cousins led by Liam lowered the coffin slightly into the cold deep grave, the very one to be his house for all eternity. Mother’s tears were like summer rainfall but she was glaring at the polished casket soundlessness. Not even her heart was beating that hard. I stepped back two inches establishing like a link to my own past:  „Vicky, we put Father to rest!”