CHAPTER THIRTY TWO-THE CLOCK'S TICKING

As Ben watched the lightning cross the sky from the window, he wiped his hand across his mouth and shook his head. “Dammit Ben! How could you be so fucking stupid?” He took a ragged breath then wiped the tears from his eyes as he heard Imara yawn and stretch herself awake.

Finally spotting Ben across the dimly lit room, Imara smiled to herself. “Good morning handsome. Why don’t you climb back in here and love me some more?”

Ben sniffed back his tears then swallowed them down as he turned to face her. Imara’s eyes drew down in confusion when she saw his worried expression then when she thought for a moment, she realized what was bothering him. “I’m pregnant again, aren’t I?”

Ben’s whole body jerked as he released the sob he’d been holding back. “I’m sorry, baby. We’ve been so careful. I’ve even been wearing those goddamn rubbers all for nothing.” Wiping his forearm across his eyes, Ben gritted his teeth. “Why is this happening, baby? I’d let that fucker kill me a million times, but I can’t lose her again. My heart can’t take it anymore.”

Imara closed her eyes and smiled a pained grin. “Some things are bigger than us, Ben. Eliza’s part of this curse too.”

Ben slunk down onto the bed and pressed his head into the mattress as the ache of guilt tore through his gut. Imara put her hand on his arm and said, “Don’t do this to yourself, honey. It’s out of your hands.”

As he clenched up against the bed in pain, Ben cried, “I may as well have killed her myself, Imara.”

Imara rolled over and curled herself over his back. “No sweetheart. Don’t you do that. What’s happened to us was out of our control from the very beginning. How it end’s though, Ben, that is under your control. And, this time, will be different. Fate is finally on our side, don’t give up on me now.”

As he pushed himself up and wiped his eyes, he said, “No matter what I do, it ends up with losing you both.”

Imara pulled on Ben’s arm until he finally crawled into her arms and buried his face between her breasts.

“You know, no one really knows what will happen to them. If it hadn’t been that awful man that came for us, it could have been a fire or a tornado or any number of things that could have killed us. The only thing that makes us any different from other folks having a baby right now is that we happen to know the manner in which it’s coming. And, you know what, this time, I’m grateful for that. You told me that your biggest regret was that you didn’t get to spend enough time with us. Well, all we got right now is time. We get one glorious year with her and we’re not going to waste a single second of it. We’re going to spend every day of sweet pea’s life showing her love and happiness. No matter what happens to us, we’ll always have those memories , sweetheart.”

Imara wrapped Ben’s hair around her fingers and kissed his forehead as he breathed hard against her chest. “The clock’s ticking, baby.”

Imara rubbed her lips against his skin and moaned softly. “Yes, it is. But you know what? I’ve been to the other side of it all. When I was in that castle, you know what I felt for the first time in about a hundred years? I felt safe, Ben. I looked around at everything and I know that Selvin couldn’t touch us there. You’re going to end things this time and you’re going to meet me there and we’ll never be apart again, Ben. So, to that end, I can’t wait for the clock to run out.” Imara snickered out as she gasped back her tears. “It’s almost over, Ben. We’re almost home and that sounds pretty good, don’t it?”

Ben looked up to Imara’s face and she leaned down to kiss his lips. “It’s almost over,” she whispered.

He smiled through his tears and nodded as the soothing pitch of Imara’s smooth Savannah drawl rubbed his aching heart. “You know what I’m going to do? Down at that store when I was waiting on those worthless rubbers, I saw they had these little cameras. You just take the pictures and take the camera back to the store then pick up the pictures later. I’m going to go buy a big stack of them and take pictures of everything. Everything. That way when…if there’s a next time, Thorin can just pack them away in that trunk with all our other things for us.”

Imara smiled and rubbed Ben’s arm. “Yeah, that’s exactly what we should do.”

Looking over Imara’s breasts as they popped out of her night gown, Ben raised his brows and slid his fingertips down her chest. “I could think of a few things I’d like to get some pictures of right now.”

Imara shook Ben’s hair in her hands. “Well, it doesn’t look like there will be any training going on today anyway. Why don’t you just climb on up, sir. You’re looking like you could use a little Southern comfort right now.”

Pushing Imara to her back, Ben slid his leg across her and lingered over her body. He tucked a curl behind her ear making Imara shiver as his fingers glided across her skin. He slid his fingers across her lips and said the truest thing to ever cross his, “I just want to love you both as long as I can.”

Imara could feel the conflicted feelings of desperation and joy at the thought of Eliza returning. Ben was the best man Imara knew and his doubts about himself broke her heart. “Here I am, Ben. We’re still yours, no matter what we’ll always be yours.”

As she pulled up her gown, Ben freed himself from his boxers. Imara felt her body relax as Ben traced her jaw with his soft kisses until they met her ear earlobe. As his pulsing cock found its way home, Imara’s lips grazed Ben’s shoulder while he rocked in and out of her. He didn’t care about satisfying her or filling her with his seed. For these few moments, he just wanted to be one with his wife, part of the family he created. They were all that existed.

Imara slid her nose across Ben’s jaw, inhaling the warm, musky smell of her long-ago home, of Ben. He released a pent-up breath as he cried softly against her ear. Imara sniffled back her own pained sobs as she felt Ben’s grief for her eventual death wash over him. His feelings of failure for not being able to protect what he loved. “I wish we could stay this way forever, Imara,” he said between hitched breaths.

She placed an open mouth kiss on his chin and said, “Someday we will, Ben. I promise you.”

While the midsummer storm raged against the house outside, Ben drifted off back to sleep in the comfort of Imara’s embrace. He dreamed he walked through a dense, dark forest.

The ravens overhead cawed out a warning to him as he came to the opening beyond the trees. As Ben left the forgiving shade of the tree cover overhead,  a blinding light hit his face. 

As he turned his head away from the false sun above him, Ben held out his hand to shield his eyes from the bright illumination. Walking through the field of war-torn bodies, Ben saw a castle built into a mountain side through the rays of gold and white light. When his eyes finally adjusted to the glowing orb above the battlefield, Ben said, “Baby, is that you up there? What in the hell are you doing Imara?”