Chapter 8- Fragility.

I open the door and mama is at her usual position watching her favourite Mexican soap-opera.

"Timmy, how are you doing?" She pauses her movie. 

"I'm... I am fine, Mama. Good aftern-" I pause. 

"Ubochi mma, Mama." I correct myself immediately. I don't want to add more salt to the already Salty food. 

"Don't worry about that, my son." She gives me a heart warming smile.

I need to pinch myself if I am day dreaming. Mama should be screaming at the top of her lungs right now. Its 06:15pm already!

"Go and eat. I'm sure you must be tired and hungry."

Why is she being so nice to me?

"Okay mama. Is everything alright?"

"Of course, everything is alright. Go and eat. After you finish eating, we will talk." She locates the remote and plays her movie. 

"Talk a-about what?"

"Timmy, go and eat. You ask too many questions. Allow me enjoy my movie."

I go to the kitchen to meet my favourite food, Fried rice mixed with spaghetti neatly positioned in a tray. I can hear my stomach begging me to dig in.

But, why would Mama decide to go through the trouble of cooking my favourite meal on an inauspicious day like this. I stroke my chin, trying to figure out a reason. Well, there is a saying that goes; Never try to think when your favourite food is in front of you and you are on an empty stomach. Realising that, I head to the dinning table with the tray and in less than ten minutes, I am done with the food. I take a deep breath. Now, I can think. This scenario is like a story I was told when I was little. The only part I remember is the part where the thief was fed to the brim, afterwards, he was killed. Oh God! What will I do? 

"Timmy, are you done eating?" Mama calls from the sitting room. 

"Yes......I'm done." I reply. 

"Drop your tray in the kitchen and come let's talk."

I head to the kitchen. My heart races so fast as I drop the tray in the basin. I take a deep breath and I head back to the sitting room. Mama pauses the movie and she turns to face me. 

"Your Literature teacher called me this afternoon and he told me you'll be representing the school in an upcoming quiz and debate competition. Is that true?" Mama smiles broadly at me.

I have not seen her smile like this since Dad left us. How am I supposed to tell her I do not want to do it.

"I know you'll make me proud, my son." She gently pinches me on my left cheek.

"Mama, I don't think I can-"

"Eh!" She snaps at me. 

"Nothing, ma." I reply sharply.

"You don't think what? Timmy, You can and you know it. Since that day you flopped on stage I knew you'd bounce back on your feet. When you weren't showing any sign of recuperation I was getting worried. You are a Chigozie. You achieve anything you set your mind on."

"But-----What if I flop and I disappoint you again?" I mutter. 

"How old were you then, five?" 

I was twelve years old then. I am seventeen years old now. What difference does it make!? I am still the old me. I have always been and it scares the shit out of me. 

"You are now a young man. A handsome young man."She smiles. 

"Plus, you are my son and you are the son of your father. You! You are meant for greatness. You are a Chigozie and you are partly a Thompson. When have you ever heard of a Thompson smiling to defeat before. My blood runs through your veins and I know you will be greater than your father and I will ever be." She takes a deep breath.

I feel like superman right now.

Mothers. They have a way of making their children see things they way they want them to see it.

"Thank You, Mama. I'll do it." I smile.

"Yes! That's my son!" She pinches me hard on my left cheek. 

"You better not flop. I'll kill you and after killing you, I will kill myself." She laughs. She gives me a heart warming hug. Is it me or she is being too happy about it.

"Mama, is there something else you want to tell me?"

"No, nothing else. Why do you ask?" She smiles.

"You seem a little too happy about the competition. Is there something el-"

"Get me that remote." Mama interrupts. I reach for the remote and I hand it to her. She plays the movie with the remote. She turns and fully faces the TV.

"Mama,are you sure ther-"

"Sssssssssshhhhhhhh! Let me concentrate.""

I give up. When the time comes, Mama would surely tell me.

"Will you still eat tonight?" Mama asks.

"No. I'm still full. Its 07:00 already."

"Okay, my son."

I get up slowly and I head to my room. I pick up a few clothes from the bed and I carefully place them in the wardrobe. After tidying up the bed, I  head to the wall socket and I carry my phone. I collapse on the bed, switch on my data and I gently place the pillow below my head.

Wow! I have seven unread messages from five chats.

"Guy. Sorry for the way I acted earlier." From Harrison.

"No probs, Man. I understand." I reply.

"Hey, Did you ask for my whatsapp number just to store me on your contact list?"

"Hiiiiii. Its Bimbo."

I smile. I totally forgot about her.

"I'm really sorry. I've been busy lately. How you doing?" I reply. 

She was last seen on Whatsapp five minutes ago.

"Hey Tim. Have you gotten home?" From Amanda.

Awwwwwn! I smile. 

"Timmy, what time is it?" Mama says. I jolt due to the suddenness of her voice.

"Shouldn't you be reading? All you do when you come back from school is to chat away your time." Mama enters my room and stands directly in front of me with her hands on her waist. 

Oh God! I should have locked the door. 

"Your teacher, Mr. Rotimi just called and he told me you were sleeping in school. I can't be-"

"What! Mr. Rotimi!?" I exclaim in absolute shock. I wasn't even sleeping in his class. How did he find out? Oh, Ade must have told him. If I get my hands on Ade, God help me, I will kill him! I clench my fist.

"Yes, Mr. Rotimi. He also told me you are changing in a negative way and you have become unconcerned about your academics..."

My phone beeps, notifying me I have an unread message on whatsapp.

"What's going on with you, Timmy? I'm sure you know your external exam is fast approaching..."

My phone beeps again and again.

I pick up the phone from the bed without glancing at the screen.

"You should at least try to..." 

I try my best to control the urge but it overpowers me as I glance to check the messages. The first message is from Bolaji.

"Hey, Timmy. Are you still alive?" I chuckle.

"Give me that phone. Now! I am talking to you and you are chatting with your phone. Stupid boy!" Her eyes are blazing with fury.

"Mama, I wasn't chatting.  I was just check-"

"Don't get me angry, Timothy. Give me that phone, now!" I hand the phone to Mama.

"I am really disappointed in you, Timmy. Forget about this phone. You are not getting it back!" She sighs deeply, stares at me and exits the room.

I have never seen Mama this angry in a long while. I have to apologise to her. I walk to the sitting room and I switch off the TV. Talking to Mama today will aggravate everything. It would be best if I apologise to her tomorrow. I need something to drink. I walk towards the fridge which is beside our guest room in the dinning. I can hear little sobs coming from our guest room. I place my ears on the door and the sobbing becomes louder. I put my hand on the door knob and I try to push the door but its locked from within. Mama is really delicate. I shouldn't have done what I did.

"I'm sorry Mama!" I scream.

I don't like seeing Mama like this. It breaks my heart. 

"I'm really sorry!" I scream again. 

I can't leave her like this. I squat and sit on the floor. I rest my back on the door and my legs, flat on the ground. 

"I'm sorry, Mama!"I scream. I won't stop till she opens the door. 

"Hey. Timmy. Go to bed." Mama taps me gently. I open my eyes and Mama is in front of me already on her night gown.

"Okay, Mama. I am so-" I mutter, standing up to my feet.

"Don't worry about it." She interrupts.

"Go and sleep."

"Goodnight, Mama." 

"Goodnight, my son."

I head to my room and I relax on the bed. I will surely apologise to her tomorrow. 

Last night was unbearably long. I had to check on Mama three times in her room. I can't believe she cried all night because of my stupidity. Here I am, all dressed for school, unable to leave the four walls of my room. How do I face Mama? Who knows if she is still in her room, crying her eyes out. 

I take a deep breath as I walk towards the door. I hold the door knob and my heart beat increases. Come on! Just push the damn door!

I open the door and surprisingly, Mama is in the kitchen cooking and singing like nothing happened.

"Ututu Mma, *good morning, mother*." I greet. She turns around and fully faces me.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. Mama,I'm very sorry about las-"

"Ssssshhhhhhhh! Don't say a word about that. We will talk when you come back from school. Your food flask is in the kitchen. Your food is on the dinning table. Hurry up. You are running late."

I check the time on my watch and its 07:35 A. M already. I rush to the kitchen and I take a bite of the bread and egg Mama prepared. I take a sip of the tea and I zoom to the parlour.

"Don't forget your allowance."She points to the television shelf.

"Thank you,Mama." I rush to take it and I head out.