Euphoria

Vanity mirror, hands trembling and caged heart pounding, begging to be tamed, begging for an escape that will never come. I took turns in using random beauty products. My parted lips welcomed the hue of red lipstick, gone was its pale color and now looked like dried blood in which my dripping heart vomited. My lashes grew longer through each glide of mascara, enough to add life into the dead night that my eyes resembled. Dark shameless spots of imperfection hid beneath my concealer and yet another shade of eyeshadow made my eyes appear livelier than my life would ever be. Ironic how the mirror in front me says pretty but my heart feels ugly, proves how satisfaction and self love isn't defined by a mere reflection but starts from within. Sadly, it was something I forbid myself to have.Little red dress revealed my thick thighs and lower butt. Cleavage sneaking through its low neckline and shoulders bare through i

v e r n o n Days felt running for long has gone since I last saw Catherine.I am to blame for I’ve been skipping my classes. The only thing that got me here again today is her. Since that day on the lab, I was never the same.Her features were so vivid in my memory and I’m seeing her even in my sleep, like that drug you tasted for the first time and you couldn’t get it out into your senses. I’m on the first stage of being intoxicated, the part where you get a taste and you want more. As for her, I got a glimpse and selfishly, I want more. More than just stolen glances, a few exchanges of conversation and forced formalities in between test tubes and flasks. Perhaps, more than just lab partners. Strange for I have always loathed school but lately, I’m finding interest to attend it frequently.On a lazy Monday afternoon, amidst noisy tables and busy people, I

v e r n o n "When the hell is he coming?!” JB turned harshly to Mark, fidgeting his feet in impatience. I gulped and managed to collect my own restraint. The two bickered while my eyes wandered in nervousness. I’ve done this a lot of times but even when you are used to vile acts, your conscience would always bug you like the first time you decided to pursue evil. Unlit light posts make the lower part of the suburb almost desolate. Empty establishments tower over the dark streets and dangerous people of the like wander around. The homeless. The drug addicts. The gangsters. The juvenile delinquents. They roam around like they rule the area. It resembled a hell hole, the part of the city you’d never like to cross but then again, this part is invisible to the privileged. I mean, if you have the comfort of a civilized city and a first class apartment, would you know

c a t h e r i n e To go somewhere with him is as equally interesting as it is unbelievable. I eyed him for a while, sinking in to my own curiosity. He sat there, non-chalant, eyes never leaving mine."I-I don't want to." I stuttered for an answer that lacked conviction as it should.I'd rather be alone. I am certain of it. Vernon seemed to measure my thoughts from across the table before nodding like it never really mattered. "Yeah. Cool." There was this imaginary gap between us that has began to stretch wider. An ocean of indifference took him drifting farther within the second. "Actually," I said before the gap goes longer. It stopped and Vernon was again, within my reach. A knot seemed to loose around my chest."I could keep some company." The ghost of smile on Vernon's pale rosy li

c a t h e r i n e "Where have you been yesterday?" Lisa welcomed me the next morning with a couple of books in hand under her dead eyes. "I.. just wasn't feeling well." I fumbled through my things in the locker. "You never skipped even if you're already dying." She gave me that intriguing look. We've been classmates since grade 11. We're close but she's friends with everyone that it's hard to tell my level of importance. Nevertheless, we stick to each other because we're on the same class up to now. "Don't I deserve to skip classes everyone once in a while, ma'am?" I joked. "Yes you do. Of course. It's just you missed much! We had a quiz in History." She started enumerating all the things I've missed without me even asking. It's not a bad thing to do. To her, perhaps, it meant helping. But it was suffocating and