He Didn't Say a Word

What the hell am I going to do?I paced around my small apartment anxiously tapping my finger in intervals of twelve and fifteen on my thigh.Twelve, twelve, fifteen, twelve, twelveI repeated the number sequence in my head as I tapped it. My thoughts constantly drifted towards how I would get my anger to stop again. I made a promise to never let it take control. Yet, as I sat down on the couch in my apartment, I started to think of ways to get rid of it. There was not way I would let it get as bad as last time.I could feel myself becoming more and more anxious, to the point where I threw myself off the couch and in front of bookshelf that sat across the room, next to my desk.I tore the books off the wooden shelves, and started to organize them to where the pages of the book were facing outwards instead of inwards. It just felt better that way.Once my mind finally felt at ease, I selected one of the journals that sat on th

Blaine Marston? Blaine Marston ! I knew this was going to be bad. My old neighbors, the ones who called the cops- Blaine was their oldest kid. He had a sisters I'm pretty sure. May? No Mavis. Mavis was her name. Honestly I couldn't even remember what either of them looked like, Blaine had to have been a teenager when I left home. Yes, because Natasha was the same age as him.I started thinking up excuses to leave work early when the door chimed and someone walked in."I'm a little early, but I was wondering if I could pick up my truck. Blaine Marston" he said, I could hear Todd directing him back into the shop from my spot in the back."Hey, Blue! Mr. Marston is here" Todd yelled from the front desk. Cringing at the name, and feeling sick with anticipation, I turned to face Blaine.His name was a color I couldn't quite figure out until I looked at him. He had black hair that was swept back into a baseball cap, and his eyes were an icy blu

Blaine and I's "second" date was tomorrow. I was kind of excited although mostly I was nervous. As much as I appreciated his charm and kind demeanor, I was not quite sure if I could trust him to not turn back around and decide he did not want to date a killer. There was still this feeling in my gut that he knew."You excited for tomorrow?" Shawn asked me when I got back from lunch Friday afternoon. I titled my head to singal "what" because I was not certain that he was talking about Blaine, but he was. "Blaine stopped by while you were on break for a follow up and we talked for a while" he explained. I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to the shop."I'm happy for you!" Shawn yelled after me. He was getting on my nerves. In all honesty, if given a chance, he might be a nice guy, but maybe he just was not my type of person. That seemed like an acceptable reason. Maybe I did owe him a little bit since he was the one to make me go with Blaine in the first place.

Back at home, I was thinking again. Mostly, it was me realizing how I was lying to Blaine. Or, not really lying, just withholding the truth. I wanted him to know who I was, yet I did not want to lose him in the proccess. Knowing myself, I would probably never work up the courage in the first place to tell him about it. How would I even start? Hi, I'm Killian, your old neighbor who murdered his mother and your parents called the cops. Please forgive me.The more thought I gave it, the more I realized that it was out of the question. He was not allowed to know. That was just a secret I had to hold onto, but it was not like I had not already been keeping it for three years.Blaine invited me out a few more times over the next month or so. Obviously I always said yes. At this point I sunk far too much into this boy to back out now. I think that he was good for me, really brought me out of my shell, or at least when I was with him he did. On my own, I was still the

"Ready?" Blaine asked as he parked his car in the grass besides one of the frat houses at his college. It looked pretty much what I expected a party to look like. I had never been to one before, so this was bound to be an awful experience.I opened my door and stepped out onto the slightly damp grass. My feet were frozen in place as I stared at the place. I was not ready for this.From the place I stood, my legs refused to walk until Blaine grabbed my hand and we went intisde. It was like I was a puppy following its owner around everywhere. I had no idea how to interact with people so when Blaine introduced me to his friends, I came off as weird. At least I felt that I did. In the end it did not really matter because most of the people we talked to were already intoxicated.After a few minutes, Blaine asked if I wanted a drink. We went to the bar/kitchen area to find something."Here" Blaine said and gave me a beer. It was not as bad as I expected it to b