Chapter 20

Farah Del Valle wasn't my favorite person. That was no surprise. But what was a surprise was finding her shirtless and underneath Ace, kissing him on his bed. My first instinct was to immediately throw him off of her and push her out of the window. 

But I didn't do that. Instead, I apologized. "Sorry! You didn't answer when I knocked and I wanted to talk to you..." I trailed off.

Both Ace and Farah whipped their heads toward me. Ace looked like he had seen a ghost but Farah looked pleased. As if my getting flustered was her intention all along. 

Before I could do or say anything stupid, I turned around and started to walk back to my room. It was going to be difficult as hell to stay in the room across the hall if he kept this up. 

I heard the bed creak with movement and turned back to see Ace shooting off of it. He somehow ended up in front of me and held his hands out to stop me from pushing passed him. 

"Mad," he whispered. 

I clenched my jaw in an effort to stop myself from tearing up. There was no way I was crying in front of him. He doesn't get to see me sad. I tried to keep my face as emotionless as possible but I didn't think I succeeded.

"What?" I finally answered him, my voice barely above a whisper. 

He sputtered for a few seconds, not knowing what to tell me. "It's not what-"

"It's not what it looks like, right?" I finished his sentence. It was almost sad how cliche and overused the line was. Ace said nothing. "Whatever, okay? So you're into Farah, that's... cool. I'm going to bed." 

And then I pushed past him and walked into my temporary room. And he stayed there, out in the hallway. It was a few minutes later when I heard his footsteps padding back down the hall to his room and back to Farah.

I woke up to the light sound of knocking against my door a few hours later. I looked over at my phone and saw it was almost 9:30. I rubbed the sleep away from my eyes and headed to open the door. 

I wasn't even thinking about who it could be so when I saw Noah standing there, with a frown on his face, I was surprised to say the least. 

"You didn't come down for dinner and Ace didn't talk the whole time," he told me sadly.

I nodded, "sorry buddy, today was exhausting. I just wanted to sleep."

"Why is Ace sad Mad?" 

Good fucking question, kid.

But I only shrugged, "don't know."

Noah's eyebrows scrunched close together in confusion. "You always seem to know what's wrong with Ace. It's like your superpower."

"I don't have superpowers Noah," I ruffled his hair and then looked down at his hands. He was holding a plate full of pasta. 

He looked at the food and then shoved it toward me. "Mommy said you were probably hungry. We heated it up for you."

I smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks kid." He followed me into the room as I set the plate down on the nightstand and then sat down. He sat beside me, kicking his legs over the edge.

"I don't like it when Ace is sad. And it's even worse that you both are. Please don't be sad Mad," he pleaded. 

It broke my heart to see Noah so confused at his brother, and my, behavior. He truly didn't understand why we were upset; but I was guessing Ace hadn't spilled the beans to his family. "I don't like when Ace is sad either bud. But sometimes, you just have to let someone be sad, even if you don't quite understand why."

He nodded, "no one can stay sad forever, right Mad?"

"Right," I answered even thought I wasn't quite sure of the answer myself. 

Noah scooted a little closer to me. "This one time, I was sad because a kid in my class called my hat stupid. And I was crying a lot in my room when Ace came in. He told me it was okay to be sad sometimes but you should never hold it in."

He looked like he had a lot more to say, but he stopped. "What else did your brother tell you?"

"He said the only way to let it out completely, was to let someone hug it out of you," he whispered, holding his hands in his lap. 

Damn Ace for being adorable with children.

I nodded Noah on. "Is it okay if I hug the sadness out of you Mad?" He asked me sheepishly.                          

He could try.

My heart swelled up with compassion for this kid. He was truly something else. "I would love a hug from you Noah," I admitted. And with that, he wrapped his small arms around my waist and squeezed me. I held him around his back and lightly squeezed back. 

And it turns out Noah was right; somehow, hugs were able to extract a lot of pent up dejection. At least, temporarily. 

The next morning was a drag. I never had the chance to ask Ace to bring back my car so I couldn't go out and just drive around. I could have called Kimmy and asked to hang out, but I wasn't in the mood to interact with other people.

I took a quick shower and got ready before heading downstairs to eat breakfast. I immediately headed to the kitchen, planning to eat some cereal and then go back upstairs to wallow in my sadness. 

But as I passed by the living room, I heard someone call me. "Madison?" I backtracked a little and looked to where I had heard the voice. 

"Raze? What are you doing here?" I asked him, looking around for Ace. Because if Raze was here, Ace had to be nearby.

He stood up and walked over to me. "I could ask you the same thing. Did you guys make up already?"

"No?" I told him, confused but then remembered that no one besides Kimmy knew I was living with Ace for the time being. 

But then I heard another pair of footsteps coming down the stairs. I crossed my fingers mentally, hoping for someone other than Ace. But of course, as luck would have it, it was the last person I wanted to see. 

"Raze, man, what are you doing here?" Ace asked him calmly. 

"I wanted to talk to you. Now I really wanna talk. Do you want to tell me why your ex girlfriend is here, at your house, in her pajamas?" Raze looked beyond comprehension at this point.

Ace paused and finally glanced over at me. "She's staying here for a while," he told him, his eyes on me the entire time. 

I looked away from him and back to Ryder. He wore a face full of concern and confusion. "How come?"

"None of your business," Ace spat at him icily. 

Raze held his hands up in surrender. And I decided I didn't want to be in the same room as the boy who had left a crack in my heart. "Where do you think you're going?" Raze asked me with sass. 

"To my room?" I avoided Ace's gaze. 

"No, no, I need you here too, now that I think about it," Raze smirked. 

I sighed. "Okay, what's wrong?" Raze might have been smirking but there was sadness in his eyes. 

His smirk fell and he sat back down on the couch. Ace and I both stood awkwardly on either sides of the living room. "Daniela broke up with me."

I immediately went to sit by his side and rested my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Raze. Did she at least tell you why?"

He shook his head but told us, "she did. But I think she was lying. She said she just didn't see us lasting. But this entire week she had been telling me how much she liked me. I just don't understand."

"I don't think I'm the one to go to for relationship advice Raze. I'm shit when it comes to expressing my feelings," I conceded, looking down at my hands. I had forgotten about the boy standing beside the couch.

Ace snorted under his breath. "No kidding."

"Excuse me?" I whipped around, my hair smacking me in the face.

He stepped closer. "I mean, that's no secret Mad. It's kind of the reason we broke up."

I stood from the couch. "No, that's the reason we stopped talking. The reason we broke up was because I walked in on you making out with Farah."

"WHAT?!" Raze yelled from the couch, hopping out of his seat. 

I turned back to Raze, mostly because I didn't want Ace to see my eyes watering. "Oh yeah. Ace didn't tell you? He got so tired of me trying to figure out my feelings that he decided to figure them out for me."

I heard Ace scoff behind me. Raze gave him a glare that told him to shut up. "Last night, I planned on telling him that I wanted to be with him, for real this time," I saw confusion, once again, take place on Raze's expression. I continued. "But of course, I find him shirtless, on top of fucking Farah Del Valle of all people. And then tries to tell me it wasn't what it looked like." 

At this point, the tears had started to silently fall down my cheeks at a rapid pace. I was still fully turned toward Raze who looked slightly uncomfortable to be put in the middle of this. "So I told him I just wanted to be his friend. But being his friend was the last thing I wanted to be. But I guess I'm not even that now," my last sentence came out like a sob and I finally turned to face Ace.

"Sweetheart," Ace ground out when he saw my tears. There was guilt and regret shining in his eyes and I saw his hand stretch out to hold me.

But I yanked away, far from him and I ran back up the stairs and closed the bedroom door. I leaned up against it and tried to slow down my sobs and breathing but ended up crying harder. I had yet to cry; so I did. And let my heart break along with it.