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2020-08-30 17:38:36The sky was deep black, bathed in stars everywhere, with a more than timid moon waving over the sky. It was late in the morning, but she hadn't tried to get a little sleep; He knew it would have been useless, so he preferred to go out for a long walk around the island, with his terrible and beggar thoughts as his only companion. He had chosen to remain silent in the face of the insistent heyday of his parents to find out what had happened, but had closed in on a band. He didn't want to lie to them, so he didn't say anything; she just waited for them to stop knocking on her bedroom door, and when all was quiet, with no eyes to see and no ears to hear, she went out into the open feeling chained to a wall she couldn't even perceive.
Even if he tried to erase that day, he could never do it. He had witnessed something that would not have had a place even in his worst nightmares, so the memory would remain unbreakable despite his determination to want to forget. Something like that would never die out. And he could no longer live, he would only have the possibility of continuing to breathe; they were different things. The trembling in each of her limbs kept appearing without warning, with its unexpected convulsions and muffled cries so as not to wake anyone up. The reason why getting up every day was no longer palpable, indeed, maybe it didn't become real at any time. He only saw what he wanted to see, what he wanted to believe in, and now he was only contemplating an obviousness that was bitter to the marrow. Why? He kept asking the same question even though he wouldn't be able to come up with the answer. Neither would make sense to her. It was a crime against his own mental well-being. He was trying to see it from another perspective, to find the incentive for which Angy had dared to go further, but even though he was trying to get into her skin, even though he was trying to see the world through his eyes, the only thing he kept seeing was deception. Where had morality, decency, common sense? Was she such a good actress that she had managed to fool her without even trying? Had he been determined to distort reality behind his back? Had he done it for the sole purpose of reminding her that he was far superior to her? He had no forgiveness or possible excuse.What tormented his mind most was pondering the exact moment when everything began to take shape. They had not seen too many times, and most of them, if not all, she herself had been present. What's more, he had been a direct witness to the tension between them. They never talked more than usual, they didn't give each other curious glances, and they didn't look for excuses to stay close to each other. It was Angy who always backed away. But then why had he seen them together, walking calmly, holding hands and oblivious to the real world? Had it all been a lie? A fallacy to appear in front of others? If they never got along, what was it that made them change? A gesture, a look, a word perhaps? Nothing fell into place. He couldn't find the element to bridge his convoluted ideas.She would never have done such a thing. His adolescence had been not very respectable, he had made many crazy things and tremendous mistakes, but now he discovered himself as a true exemplary person, because although he could be perfectly imperfect, the truth is that he was transparent. In contrast, his older sister, the idyllic person he had always adored, was not exactly the woman she appeared to be. She was sweetness, tenderness and understanding, that she was able to think of others before herself ... Well, now she knew that she was the exception. Angela could do anything for others except for her. He had played two bands, with different personalities and had hit exactly where it hurt the most; his Achilles heel, his weak point. Why? Was it some kind of revenge? Did he want revenge for something from the past?All night he rambled to the extreme of consciousness. Sleep weighed like tons on her eyelids and yet she remained awake. It was torture of its own. The pain was such that his body was drugged, numb, intoxicated ... He knew the truth first hand but that would not get him to stop taking his feelings into account. I wanted him; She was deeply in love with Dorian, and although he had already found a replacement for her without going too far, love was going nowhere, and it was the worst part of all that unleashed chaos. If she had been able to mentally bury him as soon as she saw that hell in front of the hotel, she would have done so without hesitation, but the suffering that ran through her blood in a continuous circle reminded her involuntarily that she was united with that man. Beside him it was complete, but if it had to be seen apart, it was not the exactitude of anything, if not half of something half composed. It was a tiny musical note forgotten on a rusty staff; to make the melody sound she needed him, but he was a kind of musician reborn having found a new inspiration with green eyes.The alternatives he'd had up to that point had disintegrated. From that new period on, the only possibility was to move forward, but he did not tolerate the deception committed. He couldn't ignore it, it had been so shocking that he deserved some kind of explanation even if he had to end his family for it. That family? Angy was no longer part of the family nucleus, she was no longer his sister, and as soon as her parents found out what happened they would never look at their eldest daughter in the same way. Nor would she have the man she chose to marry by her side, so technically she had nothing to lose ... because she had already lost everything.He wanted to see their faces in that very second, to scream out loud that they could no longer play with her because he already knew everything. Pain gave way to fury. And though it hurt her soul, she knew she couldn't release her anger, it was still too early. If he did, it wouldn't be enough. She had to find a way to deceive them in the same way that they had deceived her. Yes, it was something almost impossible to ask for, but if he tried hard now that he had lost what made him sense, it was possible. Besides, things couldn't get worse, what was there to lose by trying? It would teach them a good lesson; if she could never forget what she had discovered, those two people she had instantly ceased to know could not forget her either. Even if it literally burned in flames, his revenge would be icy.
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