Ep. 5

Jialin sighed in anger as she made her way towards the campus gates. The morning had turned out to be bad for her, and there was no one to blame but Zhang. It had only been minutes since she had seen him, and the comment he had made when they were in the library still echoed in her mind. 

'How dare he?' she thought. Just the memory of it made Chunhua wish she could have just smacked his face with his own laptop.

Honestly, Jialin had never felt that way towards him. They had rarely talked to each other in high school, even though Zhang had been a popular jock at that time. Sitting around the same table in the cafeteria had done nothing to change their lack of communication because they always talked to the people around them.

Chunhua's phone suddenly started ringing in her pocket, disrupting her thoughts. She quickly reached for it to identify the caller.

'Mom,' it read.

"Hey, Mom," Chunhua greeted as soon as she answered the call.

"Hi, Honey!" her mother greeted back. "Your dad and I were calling to ask how you were doing so far. Is school still treating you okay?"

"Is that Chunhua?" Chunhua heard her father shout. He seemed to be a distance away from the phone.

"Hi, Dad," Chunhua said with a smile. Hearing their voices made her miss them. "You don't have to worry about anything. School is fine. In fact, I just got assigned a project for my semester."

"Oh! That is so excellent! What is it about?" her mother asked.

"Well, you guys know how much I love stuff that include drawings," Chunhua said. "It's about motion graphics."

There was static heard on the other end.

"You know. That stuff to do with CGI? Like cartoons."

"Seriously? You guys are allowed to do that?" Jialin heard her father comment, the volume of his voice indicating that he was close to the phone.

"Well, if that is what you want to do, then go ahead."

"Thanks. Love you guys," Jialin said. It was at that moment that she spotted Changying waving frantically at her.

"Look. I have to go. There is some work I have to catch up on. I'll call you later."

"Okay. Love you!"

Jialin smiled before she ended the call. Once she had securely placed her phone, she hurried her steps toward her friend.

"Hey! Did you hear?" Changying started.

"What?"

"There is a party tonight."

Chunhua was puzzled.

"On a Tuesday?"

Changying rolled her eyes before saying: "It will be at a frat house."

Jialin was already thinking of ways to decline the invitation.

"Come on," her friend begged. "With what you have picked for your project, who knows when you will be free again?"

Chunhua sighed, knowing she was right. Also, she had just started her junior year of college. A party sounded like a good distraction from thinking about her project.

"Fine."

******************************* ******************************** ******************

Night had rolled in. Changying and Jialin had left their dorm, and they were on their way to the party. The moon and stars were out, but they were outshone by the light provided by the street lamps that led the path to the university. The party was going to be hosted outside the campus grounds, but not too far for it to be a driving distance.

"Is my hair okay?" Changying asked, turning her head so that her friend could get a good look at it.

"It's okay," Chunhua replied. With a sigh, she turned to look around the area. She spotted a couple of people walking towards the same direction as they were, no doubt heading towards the party.

"Look at that ass!" someone hooted. Both Jialin and Changying swiveled their heads to face a group of boys checking them out. One of them was even making hand gestures on how he would squeeze the buns. Chunhua blushed, whereas Changying blew a kiss towards them.

Jialin eyed her friend.

"What?" she questioned. "They can look, but they aren't going to touch this."

Chunhua chuckled at her friend.

A couple of minutes later, they found themselves going through a crowd of students that had formed outside a  mansion. Just like many parties they had been to, it was full. Zhangtmas lights were taped outside the residential building. A couple of people were dancing to the music that was blaring from the inside of the house, and then there were the usual couples making out.

"Let's go!" Chunhua encouraged, and so they both entered the house.

The scene inside was not better. The colorful lights that illuminated the area were not enough of a distraction from the loud music that thumped everywhere. Moreover, the room was packed.

Jialin and Changying pushed past drunk people. Some were dancing in the dining room, albeit in an unsynchronized manner, and others were even close enough to having sex in public with the way they humped against each other.

All in all, it was an energetic yet claustrophobic scene.

'Why do I always go to these?' Jialin questioned herself. She had no idea of what to do at first, but Changying made the choice for them when she pulled her towards the kitchen. It seemed less crowded there for some reason.

"Hey, guys!" Changying greeted the people in the room. Chunhua recognized some of them from college. They all responded with incoherent words, no doubt from all the alcohol they had consumed.

Jialin was suddenly not feeling the whole party vibe. She was wishing she could be back in her dorm where she could be spending the night watching a couple of 2 Broke Girls episodes.

It would have been fun to watch Caroline pee on herself again.

A cup was suddenly thrust into her vision. She looked to the side, noticing that her friend was the one offering it to her. With a shrug, she took it and drank the contents in one gulp.

"Chunhua!" Changying seemed to chastise her, more so because she was shocked.

It was no big deal. Chunhua had drunk more than a cup of her fair share of alcohol. If Changying had known the number of times Chunhua had participated in anything that involved drinking when she was in high school, she would have changed her belief of her being a loner and more of a party freak.

It was even a miracle her kidneys were still working fine.

"Another one," Chunhua demanded, impersonating DJ Khaled. Changying did as requested, but when her friend went to gulp it down again, she stopped her.

"Not again. I don't want you falling face first before we even leave the house," she said, and Chunhua smiled as she pictured the scenario in her mind.

An hour filled with drinks and dancing soon passed. The two found themselves comfortable in the crowd of dancing people, and they lost themselves to the beats of the songs that were played. Moments later, Changying found herself being led away by a boy she knew from her class. With the way they were locking lips before they had left, one did not need to ask what they were going to do.

Jialin found herself alone, but she didn't mind it. It made things better because she wouldn't have to look for her friend if she wanted to leave.

Chunhua returned into the kitchen. She stood by the island, slowly nursing the drink in her styrofoam cup. Then somebody bumped into her. The cup slipped from her grasp, and the contents went splashing onto the ground.

She turned to confront the person, but when she saw who it was, she didn't even bother to hide her groan. 

"You have got to be kidding me," she said, facing Zhang. He looked a bit disoriented, and Chunhua knew he was a bit drunk.

Or a lot. It was hard to tell because she, too, was drinking.

"We need to talk," he said without wavering.

"I don't want to see you right now," Chunhua said, going to leave the room. However, a couple of people had flocked around the entrance of the kitchen.

"Um, excuse me? Could you move?" she asked the laughing group of boys, but they either didn't hear or chose to ignore her. It looked as if they were transfixed by something in front of them. Chunhua continued to call over them, but no one budged. She had no option but to wait in the kitchen where Zhang was looking at her.

She gave him a glare.

"I mean it, Chunhua. We need to talk. It depends on our assigned project."

There was basically no way out of it. The two of them were trapped in the kitchen, so they might as well get done with it.

"Okay," Chunhua said. "But I doubt we'll be able to hear ourselves in here."

Zhang shook his head at her with a sigh before he grabbed her arm. She was startled when he began pulling her away from the room, but she relaxed when they turned to a door that she thought had been locked. It led to a dark hallway. A couple of seconds later, they found themselves in the outside open air where the music wasn't so loud.

The glow from the streetlights was bright enough to illuminate their surroundings. It looked like they were at the back of the mansion.  And surprisingly, there was no one else but the two of them.

"First of all, I would like to apologize for what I said today," Zhang started. "Could you forgive me?"

"Wait. First of all?" Jialin chose to focus at the beginning of his statement.

"It's just that I don't know how to act around you," he admitted. "I kind of keep expecting the person I used to know when we were still teenagers, but you keep showing me someone else."

Chunhua understood how he felt. She, too, remembered the girl she used to be when she was in high school. Things had changed since then, and it shocked everyone who knew her.

"It's okay, Zhang," she said. "I also feel the same way around you. I don't know what to expect from you now that we are doing the same project."

"Really?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"Seriously?" Jialin stated with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," he replied. "I mean, I haven't changed as much as you."

Chunhua's eyes did a perusal of his form.

"You have, but it's not that."

She combed her hand through her hair as she contemplated on opening herself to him. Then an idea came to her mind.

"How drunk are you?" she questioned.

"Not too drunk to misunderstand what I am saying," Zhang replied.

Chunhua sighed, knowing there was no way out of her situation.

"Okay. Can I be honest with you?"

"Chunhua, what is it? You're starting to freak me out," he said with a small smile to hide his sudden anxiety.

"It's just that... You know, since high school..." Jialin trailed off.

"What?" Zhang wondered out loud.

"Zhang, you do remember what happened in high school, right?" she managed to say. 

Chunhua watched as his expression turned into one she couldn't read.

"What about it?" he asked.

Chunhua sighed before saying, "That's why."

"Huh? That's why what?" 

"That's why I find it hard to be around you."

"Chunhua, I am not following," Zhang persisted, and it was making her infuriated. The memories Chunhua was trying to push away were flooding her mind, and with the alcohol running through her system, they made her lose the control she had over her emotions.

"Why are you making me do this?" she asked him, clearly pissed off. "Is it some sick game of yours? Do you really want me to spell it out?"

Zhang' eyes had widened at her outburst.

"Chunhua, what--" 

"I know what I did, okay?" she spat. "I know I wasn't the nicest person to be around with. I know I was a stupid bitch."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Zhang exclaimed.

"I was a bully, Zhang. How can you forget that?" she replied, moving towards him. "I made fun of people for their appearances and their actions. I picked on them and insulted them. I dumped people's lunches on their heads."

"Chunhua--"

"You were also bullied for goodness' sake!" she cut him off. "How can you be around someone like me, especially with the last thing that happened?"

Tears had clogged Chunhua's vision by then. Her form hunched as gut-wretching sobs escaped her lips. She couldn't bear to see Zhang' look, believing to know what she would find. Hate. Anger. Disdain. It was what she deserved after everything that she had done.

After a while, she managed to calm herself.

"You're a walking reminder of everything that I did. I find it hard to look at you or even speak to you. I'm sorry about all of that. I'm so sorry about everything."

"I--" Chunhua's voice wavered before she took a deep breath. "I understand if you want to do the project on your own. I could even change the option I picked--"

"You got it all wrong, Chunhua," Zhang cut her off. It threw her off for a moment, but it didn't take long for her to figure out what he meant.

She looked up at him in confusion. He looked back at her in surprise.

"You barely did those things," he added, causing her to furrow her eyebrows.

"What? Zhang, I--"

"I know," he interrupted her. "But you didn't do it a lot of times."

"I don't think it matters how often I did it," she said.

Zhang sighed before saying, "You don't remember it the way I do; the way everyone from school does."

"Zhang--"

"Do you remember Darcy?"

Chunhua's form tensed at the mention of the name. 

"How could I forget?" she replied with a bitter smile.

"Don't you remember how she was?"

"The bitch practically had an iron rule over the school," Chunhua added. "I thought she was my friend."

"She wasn't, Chunhua," Zhang stated. "She was just using you to do her bidding."

"I know, but Zhang--"

"You didn't mistreat everyone a lot like she and her other followers did. Chunhua, she used you during freshman year to gather followers who would do what she said, and she reduced her dependence on you when we were sophomores."

Chunhua furrowed her eyebrows as she tried to remember what Zhang was saying. The memories played in her mind, and to her shock, she found out he was right.

"Don't you even remember how clueless you used to be?"

"Yeah," she said with a small smile. "But for some reason, Darcy kept me around." 

"Who knows why? But listen. You are not the person you believe you are. Sure, you did some of the things you mentioned, but you had no idea how things would turn out."

Zhang moved forward before grabbing her hands. A warm sensation began spreading through her form when his fingers clenched around hers.

"And you didn't bully me. That was the all on the popular boys."

"But what about what happened with Emma--"

"You didn't see it coming. You had nothing to do with it. It wasn't your fault, and you shouldn't take responsibility for what happened that day."

Chunhua didn't think as she moved forward to him. She wrapped her arms around him, and Zhang tensed at the sudden action. He soon relaxed, welcoming the hug. 

"I cannot believe you've been avoiding me all this time because of this," Zhang said, rubbing his hand on her back. "I wish I had known sooner."

"So you don't hate me?" Jialin asked, momentarily afraid of his answer.

"Of course not," Zhang scoffed, and she smiled. "I never did. We are good, Chunhua."