Thirteen

"Where is granny?" She asked her father as soon as she entered the house.

"I think you should say hi first" 

"Dad, I'm tired. I'll say it later" Baron laughed.

"She went shopping. I tried to stop her but she insisted. She'll be back soon"

"Okay"

A feeling of anger swept through her head immediately. She knew why she was angry; it appeared everyone was moving on and doing fine, without mom. It wasn't fair, and although she knew they weren't exactly doing fine, and that everyone was crying inside, still she felt like mom was being cheated somehow. No one should even laugh without her. No one even knows where she was, whether she's dead or alive, how can anyone laugh, play music and expect a welcome greeting in the midst of that trauma? 

Baron stopped her on her way to her room, and led her to the lounge. 

"When I realized you were missing", he began, "my heart stopped beating for some minutes" Baron said to his daughter few minutes after she returned from school

"You know that's not possible dad. If your heart stopped beating, you wouldn't be standing before me right now" she replied and Baron laughed.

"Right, but that's the closest way to explain it. I lost concentration and everything. I literally lost my mind"

"I know how that feels. That's exactly how I felt when I got the bad news about mom" she said. He noticed that her countenance had fallen, as she settled roughly into the cosy couch.

"Juana, you have no idea how happy I am that I found you, found you alive. I'm so grateful to God" he knelt before her and held her hands tight.

"I thought you are going to ground me for worrying you to death" she said seriously.

"That's not possible because as it is now, what you need is rest, food, comfort and company and that's just what I'm offering" he said still kneeling before her. He took off her shoes for her and smiled as he did so.

"I promise to pick you up at school from tomorrow. If I can't, I'll send my personal driver" he promised.

"No I want you" 

"I know. I'll pick you up on Mondays and Tuesdays, my driver will do the rest" he smiled but she wasn't smiling back. 

"What? Don't you like that?"

"I don't like your driver. He doesn't look nice" she said.

Baron laughed and the anger in her doubled up. 'There we go, how does he find it comfortable to laugh? Has he moved on already? Heaven knows I'll rip his lungs apart if I hear about him planning to remarry. He can't be that wicked and unfair to mom, can he?' Juana thought

"I changed my driver. Colin drives me now" he replied. Juana's face lit up but she quickly hid it because she didn't want to be unfair to her mom. She kept the serious look on her face instead.

"Nice" she muttered.

Baron clapped his hands and walked to the kitchen "I have to do the dishes. Later we'll talk about your experience..." 

"Dad, did you hear anything about mom?" She suddenly asked.

Juana heard him sigh and maybe shrug before he said "No" 

She wasn't going to stop there. She wasn't going to let anyone stop thinking about her mom. She wasn't going to let anyone give away her things or burn her clothes, even if she was dead, she was never going to discuss her as a dead person. She never will believe she could be dead. She never would agree even if she saw her dead body or her charred remains.

"Dad, don't you think we should put in more efforts?"

"I'm praying"

"Praying without taking steps is useless." She said matter-of-factly. Talking about her mom brought tears to her eyes every time.

"I'm as helpless as anything. I'm looking up to God for help" he replied with a tone of concern that Juana was grateful he still had.

"Dad, if mom never comes back in three years, would you marry someone else?" Baron walked back to the living room where Juana was, and held her hands in his. Her eyes were teary but she looked really serious.

"Juana"

"Just answer me" she begged.

He sighed and slowly shook his head from side to side. She stood up freeing her hands from his. 

"Do you love her that much to wait, even when everything looks uncertain?"

"You have no idea how much I love that woman" he replied

"Time will tell" she said and walked swiftly into her room, slammed the door shut in his face.

Juana climbed into bed feeling very sad. Tears welled up in her eyes. Could any good news come about her mom? She was as good as dead. But if she wanted to hear her voice, she always did hear it. She only had to close her eyes and imagine her still alive and around, calling her to come help in the kitchen. As soon as she opened her eyes, her voice was gone.

She felt terrible for getting her father emotional. He was trying to be happy and she had just come to spoil his mood. It was almost dinnertime when her granny returned with groceries and rice and chicken and a lot of sweet potatoes. She began to prepare dinner and it only made Juana's mood worse because it felt like she was trying to replace mom. She tried not to show it too much that she was mad at both of them for not talking about mom anymore. She heard and perceived the sound and smell of her cooking from her room, and refused to come out even when her granny came knocking to say 'Dinner is ready, darling'  She felt like shouting back, 'How can y'all even eat without mom?' But she was silent. That was when she remembered Ella. She hadn't told her dad about her visiting that evening yet. She had to, or her mood wouldn't get any better that night. She didn't want to talk to him face to face so she picked up her phone to text him instead. She hadn't begun to type when his message came in

"I'm sorry sweet daughter for everything you're going through. It's hard on all of us, but I know it's harder for you. I'm sorry but I want you to remain optimistic please. I'm trying to be strong for you, please be strong for your granny and i too. I love you. Granny loves you too. Please come and eat, dinner is ready. You must be hungry" She thought for a minute on what to reply with, then started

'Thank you dad. I'm sorry for getting you upset. I just feel terrible right now.' 

'It's okay' he replied

'A friend wants to come over tonight. She's someone like me, and I invited her over tonight. Is that okay with you? I'm sorry I'm just saying this'

'She can of course. I'd like to meet my daughter's new friend'

'Thanks dad. One more thing, can she sleep over? Her house is faraway'

'No problem, granny will tuck you both to bed. Now young lady, will you come join us at the table now?"" He texted back.

She smiled. It didn't feel so good to smile but it sure didn't feel as bad either. Baron had told granny that a friend was visiting, so she stored her portion. Dinner was delicious-Rice and chicken soup and Juana felt better with granny and Baron around her. And when Ella arrived twenty minutes later, she knew her night would be made. She was dressed in a velvety gown and a pair of plain flats covered her feet. She held a bag which contained a sleeping bag in case there was no spare one, three books, her diary, her phone and lots of snacks. The trio welcomed her joyfully and she felt at home immediately. After eating and talking with granny and Baron a bit, Juana dragged Ella to her room. It was already dark, so granny and Baron went to have night prayer with the girls in Juana's room. After prayer, granny chatted with them a bit and then said her goodnight and left the girls .

"So where do we start from?" Ella asked

"The ghost girl story and how your mom ended up in your dad's house"

"Don't call him my dad. I don't know him and I don't want to. It's good he's locked up somewhere right now"

"Sorry"

"The ghost girl would usually come to my wardrobe and cry there. One day when I was really tired of seeing her every night, I went to her. I was seven. I asked her what she wanted from me" 

"Oh really? You must be really brave! I wouldn't sleep in that house the next night if it was me, for sure!" Juana said and Ella laughed. 

"Okay. Did she answer you?"

"Promise me you won't freak out if I tell you" Ella said

"I'll not if you help me switch the lights back on" Juana admitted. So Ella turned on the lights and moved closer to her on the bed.

"I climbed my wardrobe and tried to touch her but she was air, whoosh like that, my hand passed through her. It frightened me but I was too brave to give up trying"

"That's so scary"

"It really was. I asked her what she wanted and I got an answer. She didn't say it but I kind of saw it in her eyes. I don't know if you'll get it but I think ghosts can talk with their sight and presence. I knew she wanted to use my body to take a revenge. I knew it even though she didn't exactly say it" Ella said.

"She was pleading with her eyes to let her use my body. I strongly believe that she was murdered. Raped and murdered. I don't know how I know, but I know I know". Juana half laughed, half shivered

"Scary"

"Yes"

"Should I keep talking or not?

" As long as she's not here, you can keep talking about her" Juana said and Ella looked around the room for about a minute before saying "She can't be here. Ghosts do visit the home of people who killed them or otherwise their own home" she replied

"So are you saying her killer was in your house back then?" Juana asked grateful there was no ghost in her room.

"I'm not sure. Stevenson bought that house, so it might have been her former home before she died, but now that I think of it, he himself might have been the killer, judging by the rumors that he is a notorious murderer of little girls"

"Stevenson is your dad?"

"I don't want you to say that. He was my mom's husband. I'll never see him as my father"

"Okay"

"I was so frightened by her request that I scared her away. She disappeared and didn't come back until a month later. When she came back, she didn't look sad. She looked really furious. Around that time, my mom was pregnant for him the second time. He lost his job and didn't allow mom to work. For the whole year, bad things began to happen. He even got into a fight with some people and they almost killed him"

"Hmmm...The ghost-girl's work" Juana mumbled.

"I was too young to understand everything. But I knew some things. The beating got worse when he found out I saw a girlghost. I think he was really scared that the girl he killed has come to haunt him down"

"The beating?"

"Yes, he beat my mom all the time, whether she was pregnant or not. She lost two pregnancies after I was born because of that. He hated me more and never touched or played with me. I remember constantly asking my mom where my father was. I didn't believe he was my father."

"That's a lot"

"It was really hectic for me. I hated seeing his face and I'd hide whether he was around. I cried all the time seeing bruises on my mother's body. What I don't understand is why she'd still keep living with him despite his wickedness"

"Did the ghost girl keep coming?" 

"Yes and my bravery melted when I saw she changed from looking sad to looking angry" she said and paused. Juana watched her fetch snacks from her bag. They began to crunch cookies and pies in silence. It was almost midnight and they were still talking

"What did your mom do about it?"

"She said we had to leave that house because it was cursed. It was until after she put to bed that she began to plan leaving him too. She confided in her mother and me sometimes. He still beat her and even brought young teenage girls home to sleep with them. But my mom was patient since she had plans of escaping. She wanted to get a lot of money from him to set up a business before leaving. So she kept enduring. When my brother turned four, she took us to her mother's place. (Stevenson doesn't know where she lives.)That was the last time I saw the ghost.  My mom's last words to me before she travelled were "In all you do, keep away from him, take care of your brother and grandma and be concerned about y'all's happiness. And please daughter, don't make the mistake I made" 

"Hmmm"

Ella opened her diary and showed Juana those exact words.

"It seems she knew she was going to die"

"I'm not sure but maybe she was saying it in case anything happened" Ella replied. She was feeling emotional. 

"Let's sleep" she begged

"What about me? You should hear my story too"

"Tomorrow. Besides I know a lot already." 

Ella turned the lights off and slipped into her sleeping bag. Juana did the same but not without thinking about everything she'd just heard.