Twenty Nine

Twenty Nine

"When I was eight, I used to hate a noisy environment and I could not think if my environment was noisy, but dad did not understand.   

  I failed my subjects in class and he'd blame me and tell me I'll never make it. There used to be so much noise in my school, it was a noisy place, so I usually was not able to think.

   I was an extrovert but I hated too much noise except it was music. I told mom about this and she believed me, God rest her soul, she was a very good woman. She understood me and treated me right, even taught me home lessons because she could not afford a home lesson teacher for me. 

    Dad could afford it but he would not do it because according to him, I was a wasted investment. Mom taught me on weekends, I'd sit by her bedside and jot down notes and copy her words down.          She was a good teacher even on her sick bed. She has always been sick, right from the time I grew up to be close to her, yet she would clean the whole house, do laundry, help with my assignments and not allow me do a thing because she wanted me to have time to study.

     She'd reduce the volume of the music player and TV so that I'd focus and it helped" Jason said and stopped to look at Juana's face. She was listening with rapt attention

"Another reason why I had bad grades all my high school life was because I was so mercilessly bullied" he shook his head

"Why would anyone bully you?" Juana was getting more interested in his conversation now

"I was bullied for my scoliosis. Until I had surgery, the bullying never stopped.

  It was always everywhere, at church, at school, on the road, in the mall etc and even though I was an extrovert, I started withdrawing to myself. I could give long speeches that'd catch people's attention and make spoken word poetry, but then I stopped because my dad said all that was good for nothing because I still had bad grades" he sighed

"Were you an only child?" She asked carefully. She was starting to realize that they were similar in some ways.

He waited for a while before replying. Juana knew he was trying to find the right words to answer her with.

"Juana I found out that I was adopted" he dropped the bombshell

"Oh my!" 

"Yeah, and that was after mom died. I was mad at her for many years for keeping it from me but then I stopped because she was dead and because she had been really good to me when she was alive.

  There was no point being angry with her. Dad is who I should be mad at. If she told me I wasn't her biological child in her lifetime, what difference would it have made? I might not have believed her even" 

"Yeah. Right. Did they have any child of their own?"

"Mom was married once and she had kids before divorcing her first husband, but Dad has never been married, according to my findings.

  She remarried because she was sick and needed support. Her children deserted her and her husband died. He died few years after their divorce. I really don't know the trueness of this story because why would anyone desert their kind and sick mother?" he replied. Juana nodded empathetically

"I was sixteen when mom died. She died of Ovarian cancer. I remember crying my eyes out and staying without food for three days.

  It was mom's sister that realized I haven't been eating. She took me to her home, comforted me, made me eat and drink and forced me to sleep.

  That man, my dad didn't do anything about me. I didn't think he grieved enough for her. I always wondered why he hated me so much until I found out I wasn't his biological son. But I later knew that he was really sad about mom's death because he was always quiet, looking dull and he never remarried.

  The worst he did to me before I decided to leave home was he facing me pointblank and telling me I killed mom. He said I wouldn't help her with any chores even when I knew she was very sick when we both knew that he was the one that frustrated her so many times.

  He said I worried her so much about my problems and that I was not an encouraging or promising child. That was the third day after her funeral and the day my aunt came to pick me up. I never returned to his house. I stayed in my aunt's for four years. He never visited once, he only called and asked about me. I knew all that was fake.

  My aunt said he looked unkempt all the time. I knew he just needed me to do chores for him, he didn't care about me. My aunt was just like my mom, she was so kind to me, so considerate and motherly. She had two kids of her own and was very responsible to us. My grades never got better but I graduated from high school.

One day while returning from school, I overheard someone calling my aunt. I sneaked in the living room so she would not see me enter. The person said "that boy is bad news. He's never brought anything to our lives but bad luck. I'd suggest you send him away with some token" I knew already who it was she was talking with.

That night, I cried and cried and thought maybe one day my aunt would actually do what he suggested and I'd be homeless and helpless." He stopped and looked at the clock.

"It's getting dark. You have to leave now, Juana"

"No I want you to continue" she said

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"One more line and I'll lead you out" he said and stretched his limbs. Juana stifled a yawn; she wasn't bored but the yawn would betray that notion. She stared at him and concluded that except for the cuts, he didn't look like he's passed through a lot.

"I left my aunt's house few months after that phone call she had, to begin my musical career. There was no money for the university, I needed to work and fend for myself, I wanted to relieve my aunt.

That was not the only reason I left her house though" he drawled

"Oh what other reason?"

"I was bad luck"

"Why would you say that?"

"Actually when I got to my aunt's place, bad things have been happening but I never attributed it to my presence until that phone call where dad said I was bad news. I started to realize what has happened ever since I got there, my aunt lost her job twice, and found a petty one. Some money was lost.

Her husband started to cheat. She actually told me to my face that he never cheated. Though she said in the most innocent way ever, I still felt attacked.

One of her kids had an accident and the doctor required that his fingers be amputated. That happened a month before I decided to leave. I didn't want to 

wait for her to send me away , and since I was bad news, I had to stay away from people. I also left her because I needed space to properly mourn my mother. So I started working in some bicycle shops, mechanical shops, CD shops, tea shop, store where musical instruments were sold, an hotel as a waiter and many more. All these gave me many skills and I saved a lot of money. I was feeling proud of myself a bit until something happened that pushed me into depression and murder" he said and looked at the clock again.

"You should go" he said and stood up. Pulling her up, he said "Nice to have you. You can come here whenever you like to listen to the rest of my story. If I'm not here, I'll be in the studio"

"Studio? You have a studio?"

"Yes, the last room in this house was turned into a studio. I go there to sing and play when I'm sad or motivated" he said

"Wow that's where the music was playing from. Can I see?"

"Tomorrow I promise. But right now, let's walk you out".

Juana let him hold her hands and walk her out of the house. It was 6pm.