CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

One of the students who had apologized to Nandem didn’t look like a student, he looked older, like a staff. His chin was coarse with bumps, apparently it had seen a lot of shaving take place on ‘that turf.’  

Nandem had referred to him as ‘Sir,’ out of respect for his age. His name was Iliya and he was a sharp speaker, he knew his way with words and girls liked him. He was about 30 and had gone to a polytechnic where he got his National Diploma (ND). He had apparently come to the university to get a Bachelor of Science (BSC) because his brother who was also his guardian believed Higher National Diploma holders were marginalized. 

He excused himself from the queue and took Nandem with him to a field just outside the main building where food vendors had set up stalls.  Iliya ordered for rice and beans and Nandem ordered for it too. He  didn’t mind eating rice today, tomorrow and every day. Iliya paid for the meal and they returned to the registration area. 

They had not even gone into the hall when they saw other students coming out, hissing, cursing and squeezing their faces. They vented their anger at the people handling the registration. But that was all they could do; complain and rant but nothing would change. The network had gone down and wouldn’t  be restored until the next day. Iliya and Nandem went in to confirm it for themselves, it was true. They added their insults to that of the other students and walked away. What could they do? Well, they walked together to the gate, exchanged phone numbers and parted ways, friendship had begun. 

Their friendship grew stronger the next day when Iliya who came on time made way for Nandem to step in and get cleared before him. Students behind shouted and protested but Nandem had already gone in. Iliya tried to pacify them but the shouts wouldn’t stop. It only stopped when Iliya stepped in for his clearance after another student had come out. In spite of their age difference, their friendship soared and they began talking about moving in together. It was a smooth process, thanks to Iliya's speaking skills. 

They moved in together in a compound where all the tenants were male students. Nandem was the youngest and he treated them all with respect, and they in turn treated him with respect too. Indeed the African saying which says ‘A kid who washes his hand well will eat with elders.’ Nandem had washed his hands well and was eating with elders. The only problem they had with Nandem was he was a chaste, while they had eaten the ‘forbidden fruit’ Nandem was yet to taste it. 

“How can you tell me you’ve not done it before?” one of them asked. 

“I, I, I don’t know,” Nandem replied, staring at them like sinners who were determined to turn him into a sinner like themselves. “Maybe when I get married,” he continued. It was a loud laughter that followed and some thought he was stupid. 

“I, the Honourable Minister of enjoyment in Kuvuki Land will raise funds and find a volunteer who will come with me to your father’s house and tell him his son is no man but a woman in man’s body.” 

There were shouts of “I volunteer, I volunteer, I volunteer.”  Kuvuki Land was the title they had given their house, while others named theirs White House, Aso Rock, Batiatus Arena, they had no problem naming theirs Kuvuki Land.

“I suggest, I suggest', Iliya cut in,’ I suggest we find a girl first for him and lock them together in a room. As a good roommate and humanitarian, I volunteer to sleep outside.” There were claps and applause for him. “But,”  raising his finger,  “but, in the morning, we will only believe what the girl says and not what Nandem says.” There were claps again. 

“I support the motion, I support the motion,” another cut in immediately. “In fact, in the spirit of doing good, in the spirit of service to humanity, service to help our fellow man become man, I as a good neighbor will accommodate Hon. Iliya in my room.” They all clapped and laughed again. Nandem laughed hard too while thinking, “was that what it took for friends to make sure their friend got laid?” 

“don’t mind them, don’t just mind them,”’ Akila said as though he had just read Nandem’s thought. “don’t let this guys influence you with bad thoughts. Don’t just get carried away here. It’s a crazy world out here on campus. ”

“Guy shut your mouth,” William cut in. “So you think we are the bad guys, right! Comon mehn shut your trap! We are just trying to help out our nigga out here, just trying to be a brothers keeper and nothing more.”

“dont mind him,” the minister of enjoyment cut in. “stop playing hollier than thou! Pretending to be a saint, right! Are you trying to tell us you’re still a virgin, right?” ” William continued. “We are trying to teach you nigga boy how to become a man, and here you are talking like a baby. Nandem, its your choice to listen to us on how to become a real man, or wait to become a sexual liability to wife.”

“In fact, in fact,” another continued, using his left hand to smooch his stomach while he spoke as though he were indeed a rich man who had just finished eating a meal of chicken pizza. “As the Honourable Minister for concern in Kuvuki Land, I will contribute a packet of condom for Nandem. I think I have enough in my cache.”

“Wonderful! This is wonderful,” the Honourable Minister for enjoyment interjected. “I can’t believe this. As the longest serving Minister in Kuvuki Land, I can attest that the minister for concern…….” “Point of correction,”the minister for Concern cut in. “It is Honourable Minister not just minister. You may continue.”

“Honourable Minister, my sincere apology. I have never seen the Honourable Minister for Concern sharing his pack of Condom with anyone, for him to share at this time means Nandem is indeed a lucky man. We thank you for your service and assistance.” The minister for concern simply waved his hand. 

Their evening meeting came to an end when William’s girlfriend came to visit. William stood up to leave but was dragged back by Iliya. 

“How dare you, how dare you desecrate our chamber?” Iliya spoke with all seriousness. “How dare you walk out without due permission?”