Soiled

I knew when he entered the living room, he didn't see me at first, so he went upstairs to find me.

Then he descended the stairs back and found me sitting on the rug in the living room and he walks to me. He doesn't even ask me anything before slapping my headgear off my head angrily. 

"Are you insane?" I shook my head, whimpering in pain. His anger as usual was entirely irrational. Keyword, as usual. 

"So, why would you do the very thing i said you should not?" I sighed. At the beginning, defying him seemed like an easy thing. Now, I can't even find the energy to continue to defy him. He shakes his head at me and sits down, I let tears and snot run down my face. I know for sure I'm done for today. He will best me till he's satisfied. And i caused it, all of it. I intentionally tried to defy him. 

"I'm sorry!!! " I begged with a loud voice. He hissed at me. He got up menacingly and him raising his hand was the last thing I saw before shielding my face. He took my hands off my face and head, exposed it and slapped me hard. I quickly covered my face again to help myself. He stomped on my foot and i quickly took my hands off my face to cover my painful leg. He uses that opportunity to slap my face again. I

I tried to shield my face from the slap that was coming my way. He used that opportunity to bind my wrists and do the very thing I feared. Slap. 

He slapped me severally and no matter how loud I screamed, it seemed to fuel his energy. He kept slapping my face. 

Oh Nabeela, you are done for today. Rest assured that you'll die today. 

"I" slap

"Warned you" slap

"To never" slap

"Forget " two slaps 

He left me and I slid down the cream wall, he picked out a blue handkerchief from his kaftan pocket and wiped his hands before throwing it on my body. His hands must have touched the snot on my face. That did not stop him from hitting me. It has never stopped him. 

My ears rang loudly, my cheeks hurt, my eyes stung and my mind. My mind that fell in love with this monster. My mind that lost all bearing at his charms. I can't rely on my mind. I shake my head and sniff to hold my cattarh from slipping down my nose. 

He has since walked out and my eyes are fixed on a portrait of Suratul Fatiha written in Arabic shrouded in light brown fabric set in glass.  

It's sitting pretty, what does this mean, does this mean that Allah has turned deaf ears to my prayers or turned a blind eye to my sujoods. Ya Allah, save me from this monster. I have no where to run to. 

Save me Ya Allah before its too late.