Chapter 34 – Definitely can't handle that much stimulation!!

“Don't get used to this.” Blackie felt that he ought to clarify some things, lest his host blamed him for shit identities he will definitely get at some point: “Original owners of your future identities probably won't be THIS similar to you. This world is a special case because of the existence of special powers that are personality-based. If you were born normally in this world, you would have become a Soother. Thus, we could only choose a host body that is either a Soother or a teenager who hasn't awakened his power yet.”

“Oh! Correction – you could have also been a Fluxer. But here you are, a rich second-generation with a prestigious identity and a loving family. You really lucked out this time! Such a peaceful, high-convenience, low-risk world!”

If the future Noah could pitch in, it would be to exclaim in outrage: “You dare call this ‘peaceful, low-risk’?!? If this is peaceful and low-risk, then to what kind of a shithole do you intend to send me in the future?!?” 
(ノ꒪Д꒪)ノ︵ ┻━┻

But since there was no time-traveling pissed Noah to correct Blackie, the confident AI continued to preach great wisdom that was actually…true, for once: “I bet the higher-ups chose this as your first mission specifically because it’s such a dumbass easy tutorial-like mission that even a retard can do it. Next time, expect a zombie apocalypse or at least the identity of some poor kid who was sold into slavery.”

Noah: “…” (눈_눈) ‘And to think that for a moment there, I was brimming with hope, gratitude, and faith in your shitty organization…’

‘…But it turns out you just didn’t have the opportunity to fuck me over this time around!’

Blackie, peeking at Levi: ‘Hehe, you are wrong. We did fuck you over. You just don’t know it yet.’

Future Noah would flip his middle finger at that: ‘That beast in human skin is not even the half of it!!!’

Current Noah, however, had no idea of what was to come, and as the owner of a wonderous mind whose innate curiosity could easily bypass all the negative thoughts, his attention was easily diverted to another topic: “What is a Fluxer and what personality trait is it related to?”

“Fluxers are really adaptable, open-minded, and flexible in their way of thinking. Their power is to change the physical state of matter. Like, turning stuff from gas to liquid to solid and vice versa.” Blackie explained.

“Ooooh, neat!” Noah chirped in.

“Yeah, very useful in the chemical industry,” Blackie agreed.

Noah: “I was gonna say that the ability to literally vaporize anything is super cool, but yeah, chemical industry job sounds good too.” (/≧▽≦)/

Blackie: (눈_눈) “So glad Aris’s death was nigh…”

“Such a mean thing to say!” Noah scolded, then added, “What would you have done if there was no appropriate identity available?”

“Urgh, it would have gotten tricky. No good soul-host candidate will fall for the whole 'ok, so, sign here if you agree to die, and don't worry, we'll compensate you in the next life' speak anymore. They hear a voice in their head telling them to die - they go see a psychiatrist. Oh, how times have changed.”

Blackie let out a heavy sigh, practically dripping melancholy, “In the good old days, it was enough to say the word, and they'd be willing to do anything in the name of god.”

Noah: “…” ಠ_ಠ …congratulations, my opinion of you has just reached an all-time low.

Future Noah: Low? Oh, in the future, you’ll look back at it and find out that it wasn’t low at all. When compared for the dive that would soon follow. ಥ‿ಥ

***

After waiting for Trey, who wasn’t expecting to be called over this early, to come over, Noah was finally ready to take his brother-in-law for a refreshing dip.

Concordia was a beautiful and rather idyllic city - bright, clean, spacious. And no place showcased the spirit of Concordia better than the Concordia aquarium resort made by one of the ancestors of the Cordia family.

The resort had everything you’d expect from a famous vacation spot – a large hotel with multiple restaurants, bars, and shops, including all the recreational and relaxing places you’d expect, such as a casino, night club, and spa.

However, the real reason why the resort was so famous wasn’t due to its five-star service, but because the waters in which the visitors could take a dip were a part of an artificially designed aquarium. To be precise, there were two huge aquariums (freshwater and seawater), which nearly formed a circle with the resort in the middle.

Have you ever seen those beautiful pictures of tropical beaches with white sand and sparkling aquamarine-colored water? Yeah, the resort looked just like that – but unlike its tropical, naturally-formed compatriot, it didn’t have any of the less desirable stuff inside, such as sea urchins, jellyfish, sharks, stingrays, and of course, the most horrible thing anyone can encounter in the wild - disgusting brown seaweed.

The resort was simply the incarnation of perfection - it even had sand-free beaches for all the sand-haters who very justifiably raise a fuss over that fucking sand simply getting in everywhere!

In short, whether you wanted to swim or dive, play beach volleyball or water sports, sunbathe, drive a paddleboat or a canoe, slide on one of the many water slides – whatever it is that you could possibly want to do on a beach, you could absolutely do in the resort.

Except fishing.

Because, of course you can’t fish in an aquarium!

Unless there is a fish overpopulation issue? 🤔

A-Anyway, the best part of it all, was that, as the owners of the resort, Cordias had 24/7 access to several private beaches in the best locations. Such as the very special one that Noah was looking forward to showing his brother-in-law.

When Levi saw what kind of place his baby brought him to, he instantly got a very bad feeling.

On the one hand, the only thing better than getting to play with his wet and nearly naked baby is to get to ‘play’ with his wet and completely naked baby. But on the other hand, his overly excitable member definitely couldn’t handle that much stimulation!!

For goodness sake, he was getting surprise boners with the little kitten fully clothed! Expecting his lower regions to not react to his baby while he was very not-clothed was like expecting a hungry wolf not to eat a perfectly juicy piece of meat sitting right in front of it! Even if you used your feet to think, you’d know exactly what would happen!!

Therefore, Levi was…

In deep shit!!

How the fuck is he supposed to go through this without his baby noticing his imminent lower tent?!?! QAQ

Luckily for Levi, the three first went to visit one of the stores because, unlike Noah, who had brought his swimming trunks from home, Levi didn’t even know they would be going swimming, so he naturally didn’t bring his.

So now, Levi had exactly one-minute time, while his baby was preoccupied looking at the inflatable goods, to find a solution to his “big” problem.