i - Tyler

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• Taming Tyler   ix - Tyler

  Somehow Tyler went inside, put the shopping away and got into the shower. He was a nervous wreck standing under the spray, but the hot water was soothing. It was a safe spot and he took the time to force himself into his emergency routine. It took longer then he wanted to empty his mind and focus only on the water and his breath. But also a lot less time than he’d feared. The water was still warm when he started to wash.Then he stared down his body and new worries surfaced.Transitioning had always been deeply personal to Tyler. When his body started to match his gender, a lot of the harm he’d done himself ceased. But there were still a lot of scars, a lot of pain, written into his body. Some scars he wore with pride, like those around his nipples to change his chest were important. The stripes on his thighs came from dark times. He’d made peace with them long ago.Between the surgery, hormones and Becky helping him with some muscl

• Taming Tyler   viii - Ryder

  Ryder was true to his word. They decided on a simple pre-made lasagna and garlic bread. as it was the middle of the week, neither relished the idea of going to work with a hang over, so water would be fine to drink. He'd kept his hands mostly to himself, but he hadn't been able to resist small touches when the younger man started to get nervous. A touch to his back, a guiding hand to his elbow. At one point he'd brushed a stray strand of hair out of his eyes.The ride in the elevator had been torture of the best kind. He wasn't sure what sort of after shave Tyler used, but the smell was amazing. He wanted to hold the other man, smother himself in just the scent of him. To keep a full arms width between them was an exercise in patience he was surprised he passed.Tyler didn't invite him in, and Ryder didn't ask. He got the feeling he'd pushed him enough out of his comfort zone that Ryder didn't want to press his luck further."Tomorrow," Tyler confirmed as

• Taming Tyler   vii - Tyler

  Ryder was in the elevator with him, and he wasn't running for the hills. If anything, Tyler thought deliriously, Ryder was trying to help. His voice had dragged Tyler out of his own mind, centering him and easing the attack almost completely. Tyler needed a shower as his body crashed and the adrenaline left his body, leaving him heavy and aching.But Ryder was holding his hand, watching him carefully."The elevator's stopped," he noticed with some surprise. To be completely fair he hadn't even realised it had started."Yes," Ryder let go of his hand, taking a step back. Tyler squashed the feeling of longing that welled up in him. "I went to find out where you were headed, but you needed help first."Tyler couldn't help the embarrassment that swamped him. His anxiety attacks were something he tried to keep private. Very few people had been through one with him. To have Mr Kane, whom he'd spent the last 48 lusting over, be one of those people was mort

• Taming Tyler   vi - Ryder

  “I’m just dropping by,” Ryder looked at himself in the rear view mirror and sighed. Even when talking to himself he looked guilty. He could tell he was lying. Becky would have no trouble at all knowing his ruse was fake.When he was being honest with himself he was snooping. He was trying to meet this boyfriend who Becky couldn’t introduce to him without a barrier of a neighbour. The fact that he hadn’t met someone who was obviously important to her rankled on him, even if it was his own fault she couldn’t.“You’re just going to make it worse,” he told the mirror, even his eyes seemed to accuse him. He was lucky she was having him over for dinner at all. He sat there for a long time, gripping the wheel and letting it go. But he was here now and he’d be damned if he could bring himself to leave.Stepping out of the car, Ryder unfolded his long body, locking the car before jogging towards her

• Taming Tyler   v - Tyler

  **Author's Notes: Trigger Warning for this chapter, discusses self harm and suicidal thoughts.**Standing in the isle, Tyler looked over the meat that was on special. He liked to cook, even if he only had himself to cook for. It was soothing to start with a handful of ingredients and a little time, and then have a meal at the end of it. With now having to worry about the car expense, Tyler wanted to be extra careful with the food shop.With pork on special he went through the different recipes in his mind before it registered his phone was going off.It rarely rung so he was surprised that the tingling sound was coming from his own pocket. Juggling the basket and the meat into one hand, he dug out the offending machine, smiling apologetically at another shopper as he blindly hit answer, bring it to his ear.“Afternoon, Tyler speaking.” He placed the meat in the basket, reaching for another.“Hey Tracey.”

• Taming Tyler   iv - Ryder

  On the third ring she picked up."What are you up to, loser?"His sister, Becky, always answered her phone the same way when he called. Had since he'd gotten her her first one for her 16th birthday. He decided long ago the words would always make him smile."Nothing much, Numb Nuts. How's work treating you?"Work was a good neutral topic. It was one of the few he could start on the phone and not have to worry about his volatile sister hanging up on him. Like she had one more then one occasion.When their parents had died in the crash ten years ago, Ryder had returned home from university early and stepped into the role of guardian for his baby sister. She wasn't eleven anymore, no more gangly limbs and braces. now she was making her own way and Ryder had the precarious job of trying not to appear like he was looking out for her. It was something she wanted ten years ago, but now appeared to just piss her off.“So bad,” she