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last update publish date: 2020-08-20 21:41:12

Mel

"Ma'm, your tea and biscuits."

"Thank you, Zia." Zia left the room as Seb sat on the rectangular sofa in my room. I have been living in the farmhouse from one month now.

I didn't want to stay with parents because I know they can't see their daughter crying over her broken love. I don't wanna hurt them by hurting myself. I just need some space away from everyone's petit looks and sympathy filled fake words.

I attended all my classes but stayed alone. Good thing not many know about Seb and I. Finally, after a month Seb decided to talk with me.

I observed his face and body, he looked happy and there wasn't any guilty on his face. I felt another sharp pain going through my heart seeing him happy while I cried all these days thinking where things went wrong.

"Mel, before we started dating I told you that I'm not ready for commitment and I don't think things will work out between us."

I let out a humourless chuckle before standing up. "You are telling me that whatever we had from this past two years is nothing but meaningless things? Every moment and every hour spent is just a time pass? whatever happened between us two ended without any explanation?"

"All these time we aren't in love? you mean we are just keeping each others bed warm? or should I say keeping your hotel room's bed warm?" I snapped at him as tears started rolling down.

I didn't break any eye contact with him as I let the words out of my mouth, I can't sit back when it really hurts deeply. He has to know how I feel and I'm going to let all the pent-up emotions out.

"Speak... You know what... you used me as your booty call, the only booty call which keeps your cold heart warm at nights. You just wanted a distraction to keep you away from your heartbreak and sadly I became the distraction. How silly? I thought you really liked me and I was blindly in love with you." The harsh truth which finally came into light hit me like a hurricane. It cut me deeply that I just don't know what to do now.

A chuckle left my mouth "I'm the one to blame, I know you wouldn't tell me about your past because you knew one day she would be coming back. Till then you need a distraction without spoiling your name and here we are." I saw the guilty swimming in his eyes because whatever I said is true. I used the hanky to clean my running nose.

"Seb, you know how it feels when someone you love leaves you. You went through the pain and I'm sure you know that I'm going through the same pain. I loved you so much that it hurts.... you know what really hurts the most? I'm just a toy and booty call in your life."

"Mel..." My words hit him hard. He don't even have any words to say after what he did.

"You are not a toy nor a booty call, Mel. I like you but..." He couldn't finish the line. I used my sleeve to rub my tears away.

"But you love her. You planned your future and everything with her." I finished the line for him.

"You should've at least told me about her Seb, I would've stopped dreaming and planning about our future together. It hurts knowing that all the moments were just an act from your side and I thought it's true."

"Mel, it's true that I didn't love you but you are special in my life Mel. I can't say anything because I know you wouldn't believe." I looked away as he stood up.

"I'm sorry Mel but I hope one day I will tell you everything." I let out a chuckle.

"I don't wanna see your face again Seb." He left the room as I tried to control myself from crying again. My mum entered the room giving a sad smile as I stood up to go the restroom.

"Mom, can you tell Zia to reheat the tea."

*

"This tastes good." I said taking a bite of the homemade pizza. I returned home because dad strictly ordered to come home.

"Here, have another slice." She put another slice on my plate.

"I'm going to write my final semesters in my third year."

"But, Mel didn't you tell us that you want to write semesters along with your friends?" Mum asked.

"Yes but not anymore. I spoke with the professors as they asked me about this. I will be having extra classes and no vacation."

My mom looked worried while my dad looked at me with an understanding look. He knows if I decided on something I would never listen to anyone.

"If you want to graduate in your third year then go for it. I will talk with your principle and sign the papers." Dad said and I smiled.

"Jenny and Rofell are returning home." Mum said.

"Mum, they will be coming home next month." I said while dad chuckled. She always gets excited when Jenny returns home.

Thankfully my parents understood that I don't wanna talk or listen to anything relating to Seb. My friends from school and college tried their best to cheer me up but I can't feel the old myself. It takes time for me to feel myself back and I don't know when I can move on from everything.

I don't wanna tell this to anyone but I went through Seb's Facebook page and other news about him and his fiance. Savannah is just like the way Seb wanted. I never saw her wearing anything other than frocks and dresses in pictures. She is beautiful compared to my wild self.

Seb confessed in an interview that he and his fiancee are getting married next month in the presence of their family and close friends. It hurts seeing him laughing and starting a new life whilst it's very hard for me to get up the next day without crying for him.

"Good night mom and dad. I have early morning classes from tomorrow."

"Good night." I walked to my room, flicking on light as I sat on the sofa. I removed all the photos of Seb and me from my walls and desks. Screaming at my walls and singing my words out at nights became routine. I stay up all night as it was hard to not to remember the things.

I took my guitar out as I played some random song before I tried to sleep telling myself that it will be harder but it's a worth the shot to see a good day later.

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