Realization and A Sprinkle of Help

I have come to realize a harsh truth.

Even with my past memories intact, I was still a child. Even if I was brought back to life in my adult body, I would still be a woman.

I remember how I simply froze after seeing the half-clothed woman being dragged by two men. I knew instinctively there was something wrong going on. There must be, especially in this society where women are only either two things: temptresses or pleasure objects.

Those two, and one other: They can be princesses as well. A pawn piece that can be used in power plays and national negotiations.

I was powerless. Eleftheria, Princess of Saule, was powerless, no matter which life she was in.

Lost in the Empire's Black Cave, I could have easily lost my life or freedom if I weren't helped by a young boy. I was not only weak, but without knowledge as well.

So, right after returning to the Kingdom, I immediately multiplied my hours of learning. It was no longer enough to simply be the same woman I was before, no matter how knowledgeable I seemed when compared to other women.

To survive, I had to act and think like a man.

I hated it. But, I knew I had to do it. I had to gain power, enough that I can shape my own future. It will probably be hard, considering the strict rules and traditions in the continent. But, I had a singular item of hope.

An item in the shape of my nanny.

It still wasn't exactly believable even to my own ears, but Miss Hestia, a high-born daughter, was secretly an adventurer. I have never known any woman adventurer. After all, they were only ever cooped up inside their rooms lest they tempt the innocent males by their mere existence. But, no. Miss Hestia had somehow done it.

Maybe, I could change my fate too.

In the middle of a lesson on history with the said nanny, I asked her a question, "How did you become an adventurer even as a woman, Miss Hestia?"

She seemed to have already been expecting the question. She gestured for me to come closer, and she whispered, "... I simply wasn't a woman."

"What?!" I screamed quite rudely into her face. She sighed as she leaned back and wiped at her spittle-covered nose.

"... Sorry," I muttered, but continued onward. "But whatever do you mean by that?"

I was most shocked. After all, Miss Hestia was a picture of femininity. Her breasts were full and her gorgeous figure was often well-seen in her thin garments. Then, as I carefully did a one over on her physique, she smiled seductively. "Don't you know why I'm your nanny, Lady Elle?"

Now wondering if my nanny was actually a man underneath her clothes, I could only stare stupidly at her. To which she laughed at.

"Let's just say that I overheard your talkative maids in the process of buying male garments for a female noble child," she said. "And, oh, was I shocked to further learn it was on the orders of the Kingdom's only princess! I couldn't help it."

The woman leaned closer to my shocked form and pinched at my cheeks with her bare fingers. "I couldn't help but want to know such a crazy child!"

I stared at her in deep confusion. I slowly said, "... So, you weren't sent here by House Aron. Rather, you requested it?"

She smiled with her pink lips and nodded merrily. "Exactly! After all, I didn't know any other girl who would have the same idea as I had!"

"So... you dressed up as a male to become an adventurer?" I asked her with a monotonous voice.

"Yes, that I did!" she answered.

"And those inn owners? Why do you know them so well?" I asked with suspicion.

"Bah!" she answered crudely. "I'm only stuck here as your nanny because my cover was blown, you know? I caused a great scandal back then! They thought I was dead."

"... You requested your father to talk with the King so you could become my nanny, did you?" I asked yet again, dizzy with her unorthodox answers.

"Hmmm," she contemplated. "Not exactly. You see, your father already knows me well. Anyway, he owed me something, so he could only oblige. And why wouldn't he?! I'm such a great role model!"

My nanny has managed to surprise me yet again... And in the process, I forgot to ask more about her secret life.

~~

While I busily wrote an essay about the continental wars, Miss Hestia arrived by my table and gave me some snacks. Milk and some weirdly shaped biscuits.

The nuts inside the bread enveloped my tiny mouth with a sweet, rich taste. "Definitely not Saule Kingdom nuts."

"You have a great talent in distinguishing flavors, Lady Elle. The House brought these from the Empire." My nanny cleared my now empty plate while I picked up my quill to continue writing.

I didn't even realize she was still watching me when she asked from behind me, "Why do you work so hard, Princess?"

I jumped slightly due to my surprise, but answered back calmly, not even stopping my quill from dancing across the paper, "I suppose not all women can dress like men so they wouldn't be treated badly. As a princess, I need to gain enough knowledge so I can change this stupid culture."

I was focusing on my parchment so I couldn't see my nanny's face. I heard her voice from right above me, "And how are the women treated badly? What exactly is wrong with our people's culture that a well-spoken child like you would call it stupid?"

I stopped my writing, and thought about what to say. Ever since I was a child, in both lives, I relatively lived well. I grew up in a royal house, and I had all the riches I could possibly want. But, I knew something was wrong. I first knew of it when I overheard my mother's ranting from behind the palace walls. I further knew of it as I grew into my body and was called, "The Temptress". And I knew that something was deeply wrong with the system when young girls not even ten could be hit by righteous merchant boys.

... And when young boys can easily say that nothing was wrong about a woman "lending her body for a little while" to pay off her brother's debts.

I grew agitated. I turned my head to look at my nanny fiercely. "And you, Miss Hestia? What do you think is wrong when a woman has to dress up as a man just so she could freely venture around the continent?"

Her face paled and her body stiffened. I wondered if I had thought wrong about my nanny, and when I was about to open my mouth to apologize, she suddenly laughed. It started out as soft giggles but then it grew larger as her mouth came open as wide as it could and she let out great, gasping sounds.

I could only sit still as I watched her almost convulsing body.

"You- HA HA HA!!" she managed to say, as she bent over in laughter. "You're really... You really are different, Lady Elle! So different!"

I could only observe her teared up almond eyes as I asked, "It's a good different, I suppose?"

She nodded, finally getting tired from laughing. "Definitely a good different."

"... You will help me out, won't you? You'll help me change this wrong system, Lady Hestia?" For the first time, I referred to her as the noble lady, and not my simple nanny. She too heard my different calling of her, and she straightened herself up.

"Yes," Lady Hestia answered. "I'll help you, Princess Eleftheria."

And, almost as though to break the sudden tension, she smirked and said, "Besides, you always seem to need my help."

I laughed at that, remembering how I sought her help in the carriage ride to Mond Empire. It has already been weeks since the trip, but she always reminded me of her aiding me that time.

"Yes, yes," I told her with kind exasperation. "I always need your help, Miss Hestia."

She sat beside me the whole night as I finished essay after essay and read paragraph after paragraph. For once in my two lives, I felt like there was finally someone who really cared for me.