Void

Vivian POV ¶¶

I seat on the sofa very depressed bleeding. Not knowing the use of my life and existence. Not knowing to whom I can turn and explain how I feel.

"Will they understand me?. No, they won't. After all who can best understand your pains apart from you!.

Few will try yet they won't succeed. 

If I voice it out many will use it against me later. I better keep it to myself.

They say marriage is for better and for worse. If I am still alive it means God has a plan for me!."

I got lost in my thoughts.

This is how I am always, lost in my thoughts.

"Mum, mum!."

He yells with his soft angelic voice nothing more to brighten my day.

He is the only reason I am able to smile again. He gives meaning to this my useless life.

"I am getting late for school, again!."

My 6-year-old son yells

"Sorry, eat your food!."

I rush into my room to fix my face with some powder and thick foundation.

Perfect Mr. Richardson's wife. The best couple in town. The example of a successful marriage. But is this true?. 

However, it's what they all think of our union and that is it ok for me.

In public, I act and pretend like everything is ok. Always very beautiful and dressed in very expensive clothes, made by very famous stylists. 

In my long and needle-like high hills. I walk very gently with a very seductive catwalk. They all crave for me.

I hide all my scars with my glamour make-up!. I had no choice but to become one of the best makeup artists in town.  

However, it is just my part-time job. I mostly learned it for my personal use. With a husband like mine, it's very significant.

"Mum... You are taking to much time!."

My son screams

"One-minute son!."

I replay

Rounding up with my make-up.

Once I get done, I hurry down to my son.

"How do I look!."

"Cute!."

With his soft voice.

We are both laughing now. I kiss him, he tries to run away from my kiss, but I am faster than him.

"Ishii... mum you have stained my face with your lipstick!."

I try to wipe it off.

"Everyone body will know that your mum loves you!."

I laugh at him

With that, we left for school.

I am happy because my husband has traveled for a month.

So I have time for myself!.

After I left him in school, I move back home. Very happy.

"Today, aren't going to work!."

I stay in the house enjoying the fresh air.

I cook with the music all loud, dancing.

After school, I go to take him and we go for some ice cream.

"Mum, you are extremely happy. Can you share it with me?."

He asks me.

"No!."

I nod at him, he frowns.

"Just enjoy this with me. No more questions!."

I kiss him

"Burrrrcckkk...!."

He exclaims at my kiss.

I cooked his favorite.

.

.

I wish I could stay like this all-time?.

Because my husband brings the hell out of me. I can't stand his presence anymore. Yet I got to know family members.

My parents are all dead. I am an orphan since the age of 20, my close relatives don't give a fuck about me.

All they were interesting was the bride price and the marriage after that they all vanished. 

How I wish my mum was still alive, to advise and show me, love.