Chapter 30

Zarkin left early in the morning.

To make the time pass faster, Kalena asked people about the war in Madegald, but they only repeated what she heard at Gesha's house, or they knew even less. For now, the actions of the new emperor remained secret.

After two days, the boy returned. Alone.

"She disappeared!" He shouted. "She just left a letter and gone!"

"Maybe she came home?" the girl tried to comfort him. "Can I see this letter?"

He nodded and handed her a crumpled note without a word. Kalena developed it and began reading.

Zarkin, I'm so sorry.

I had no right to raise my hand on you. I did it under the influence of nerves and now I regret it. I know you had good intentions when trying to help me reconcile with my family. And it's not your fault that it failed.

I don't want to be a burden that you want to get rid of as soon as possible. I know that after the words that fell between us, I cannot count on your forgiveness. Also, loneliness opened my eyes to a few things related to my life. It would be best if I leave before you come back and sell me at the slave market.

Mei

It was hard to read to the end because the last paragraphs were written very carelessly, as if in a hurry. Kalena looked at Zarkin, then at the message again.

"You have to look for her! She couldn't dissolve in the air."

"You know what…?" The boy rubbed his face with his hand.

"What?" She asked impatiently.

"Let it go. Let's not look for her."

"You're acting like an offended child again! She loved you!"

"And what about it?" He asked and smirked. "Galaspiael loved you too."

"Don't change the subject! You said yourself that our relationship would not make sense. And by the way, it's a completely different situation!"

Zarkin leaned against the wall and sighed heavily.

"Is it? I see no difference."

"You have to be blind not to see it!"

"Maybe I'm blind," he said. "I feel I've always been blind to feelings. My mother once told me that I am an empty shell that would never be able to love anyone. She was right. All of this is too much, it suddenly blows at you, although you don't need it. It annoys me that I don't know what to think."

"Then go and look for her," she said, "Galaspiael will probably be able to organize a replacement if I have to go on."

In response, he pursed his lips and turned his back on her.

"How many times should I tell you that I will not look for her?! She left me, it's her decision... by the way, do you know how much more we have to sit here?" changed the subject."

"No news from Kagolania has come so far."

"And isn't this Okiani getting angry that he must still host us?"

"Not at all."

Zarkin fell silent and followed Kalena reluctantly. He did not want to go back to the quiet room, where his thoughts would only revolve around Mei's farewell letter, so Kalena walked with him aimlessly, until they finally stopped, and he sniffed and looked towards the building, from which the smell of sweet alcohol came from.

"Do you want some broken heart medicine?" She picked up.

"I don't have a broken heart."

"But don't pretend you don't have a heart at all. Let's go. We haven't even spent half of what Galaspiael gave us."

"If we would still get money for being here... why not?"

In this place a lot of drinks were sold – both alcoholic and also soft ones, perfect just for quenching thirst. Kalena was completely ignorant, but Zarkin seemed to be well versed in everything.

"Do you have Nirimu?" He asked, glancing at the man arranging the various bottles in one straight line.

"Children are not allowed to drink Nirimu," the man grunted.

"I am fifteen years old, I am an adult for long. Do you have it or not?"

"It's gone."

"So Jiujing. One bottle and two cups. Do you accept Kagolanian coins?"

"I don't think I have a choice, Mr adult?" The man put the bottle and cups on the counter. They took them and sat at a smaller table. Zarkin poured a little and sniffed, then dipped the tip of his tongue.

"It seems fine," he said, "you can drink."

"I've never heard of it," Kalena admitted. "Is it strong?"

"It has quite a power, but Nirimu is better. How many cups do you need to get drunk?"

"I never drink," Kalena confessed, smiling wryly. She had once tasted alcohol by accident when she was a small child. Later there was no chance.

"Give it to me." The boy took the glass from her hand and poured half the contents back into the bottle. "That's enough for you. Let's see how you will feel, if after that you start to feel dizzy, you better stop."

"When did you get so used to drinking?"

"At home, I was a boy to bring things, so when guests came, and this often happened, I had my hands full. The man who was my owner knew this very well. A few weeks and you would also learn, especially since at the beginning when I did not yet distinguish these names and brought the wrong thing, he slapped me in the head. Of course, when I was older, I was given less and less work."

"Did you drink yourself?"

"I did, but it wasn't a problem. I poisoned those drinks. When someone got on my nerves, I could take revenge. Sometimes I added something strong to my lord's cup when he wanted to be sober, and sometimes I poisoned his guests. Nirimu is not bitter, his power is hidden. You can't drink it when you haven't eaten anything. And combined with any sweet juice makes you so nauseous that you would beg for death. It was great fun, but later my mother ruined everything. I got the worst flogging then. After that, I was not allowed to touch anything that came in contact with the lord's mouth. She took care of it herself. She was afraid I would kill him. According to her, it will bring me bad luck, because fate will turn against me."

"But you don't believe it? I mean... if you worship the god of death, then is killing good for you?"

Zarkin began to draw with his finger on the dusty windowsill at which their table was set. Hearing the question, he gave Kalena a nonchalant look and wondered for a long time what to say.

"Maybe not something good, but it's not something bad either. Taking someone's life on purpose is a mistake but not a crime. That is why the followers of the god of death arouse such emotions. My whole family is on the opposite side."

"The god of life," she guessed, and he nodded.

"That cult never fascinated me. You must accept life as it was given to you and you cannot do anything to change it, because jealousy of someone else's life is a sin. It's not fair. I was born a slave and someone else a prince. His life is theoretically better than mine, but he won't escape death anyway. Wealth and love of subjects will not help, there is no escape from it. The god of death is terrible, it's a fact. But at least fair. One day I will show you our temple, I hope you don't get scared. Even the Righteous are afraid to enter it. It was the only place my owner was afraid to enter, so whenever there was a punishment I would run away and hide there.

Zarkin paused and drank from his glass. Kalena's thoughts flew away and strayed far away. Some memory about the Righteous Conspiracy rang on the back of the head and kept on ringing. Suddenly she hit her forehead with her hand, causing Zarkin to flinch in surprise.

"I can't believe it! I completely forgot!"

"Forgot about what?"

"In Gesha's house, that man mentioned something about the Madegaldian prince, Washar. I've heard of him once! The night before our punishment in Yagn-Sho, Seth advised me to ask him for help if I would try to run away from Galaspiael."

"Oh, so he's a great friend! He would send you to some murderer."

"He told me Washar was one of his brothers," she added, looking him straight in the eye. Zarkin froze for a moment until he seemed to stop breathing.

"So Seth is... the prince of Madegald?" And a member of Righteous Conspiracy?!" He said it with such disgust as if he were talking about some extremely unpleasant illness. "All his brothers joined the Righteous Conspiracy, so he probably had too! I always knew he was either a traitor or a spy!"

"I'm not sure. He's at the age when kids from the Conspiracy are still at training. But when we get back, we'll have to investigate and warn Jin."

*

Despite drinking four cups, Zarkin remained remarkably sober. Kalena barely got through one and a half glasses.

After that they walked around the city again, vividly talking about how much they dislike it. Kalena in her heart did not consider Epag as such a disgusting place as Zarkin, but she didn't want to argue.

When they returned, Okiani gave them a letter from Galaspiael. There was nothing about continuing the mission in Madegald. They were to return as soon as possible, because as he explained, now they will be much more useful in the palace.

"So what?" Kalena asked when they were ready to go. "Will you join the Silver Guard?"

"Yes," Zarkin replied, "but not forever. I will work in the palace, save some money and someday build a house under the white tree that I saw when we were traveling here."

"White?" She asked.

"I told you about it!" He growled. "You don't remember because you're still drunk."

Mei's topic disappeared very quickly. When Kalena tried to talk about her again, the boy went silent, so she gave up. He put a mask of indifference on his face, but the pain in his eyes remained visible.

"We could have been on the road for several hours," he murmured, "since he called us, something important must be happening, right?"

"We'll find out," she replied and smiled at him. "You know, I don't think it is wasted time, after all. I learned a lot about you. You are always secretive, I didn't think you could open so much."

He turned his head slowly and looked down at the ground.

"Well, not really. I didn't tell you anything personal."