What it’s like to be me

What it’s like to be me

last updateLast Updated : 2020-09-30
By:  jl4u2cOngoing
Language: English
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Synopsis

This is about my desires and fantasies and which ones I need to explore , and which ones I’ve done from ages 12 til 53 and my exploring

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Chapter 1

First gay experiences

So from an early age (10 or so) I knew I was different. I had girlfriends but had this feeling inside that made me crave same sex encounters. When I was 12 I was sleeping over at a friends house with 3 other boys. In the middle of the night one of my friends crawled into my sleeping bag naked and began kissing me. At first I pretended to be sleeping because I was scared. There were other kids just a few feet away from us sleeping soundly.

I tried to ignore him but I couldn't. We layed naked together him on top grinding his dick on mine. I was turned on but also knew I liked this way too much to not be bi or gay.  Well we touched for a while then I felt him cum on me. It was warm and sticky and that's all it took for me to blow my load. When it was over my belly was a sticky mess of our combined cum. 

that night set the tone for most of my life. 

mat about same time I had an older neighbor (50's) who paid me $100 to mow his small yard. Slowly it progressed from back rubs and lunch to full on gay sex. He was gentle and kind and I enjoyed my time over the years with him. From 12 til I was in college at 19 I went there regularly to mow and spend some quality time naked with an older patient gay man. So I was given $100 lunch shower back rub and I got to explore my desires for other men in safe area.

now before you freak out, I realize he was a adult and I was 12 to 19 but I came back knowing what would happen. I enjoyed how he was kind and patient in showing me the joys of man on man sex. I look back fondly on our time together. I never felt like I did back then with him. He taught me how two men can share and play without feeling guilty or bad. I can still feel his warm sticky cum all over my back now and then. Looking back, he was my one who got away. I probably could have stayed with him long time and been fine being gay

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