Desire

Dearest Holly,

Is this a surprise? I imagine it is. I'm taking a chance I know, but you have been on my mind, and I did promise you a love letter. You are not always at the front of my mind, but you are there, running about, dodging between things I need to do for work, the people who want a part of me. You run between the other guys in the band, and you definitely run between the girls kicking them out of the way.

 I've taken to going for long drives; sometimes it's the only way I can be alone, the only way I can think about you without distraction. It's also pissing people off because I'm not where I am supposed to be. Instead, I'm driving around the Surrey countryside thinking of you.

 I  have written three songs about you, my love, not all of them will be used, but one definitely will be. I should explain. I didn't mean to deceive you with my identity, it was so liberating to be anonymous, to just be me, not to use the superstar face. You didn't' know who I was, did you? 

Do you know now? Did you keep me a secret? I hope you did; I can't imagine you went around telling all your friends that you had wild, crazy sex in the middle of the countryside with me. Oh God, I dream about you all the time, I wake up hard and aching for you. I dream of lapping at you like a cat with a saucer of milk. I dream of your tongue, your lips, you were so beautiful, my darling. I want you so much.

Oh enough of this! Unfortunately, I have a gaggle of reporters wanting interviews in the next room, and I can hardly sit there and talk to them with a massive hard-on? But know that I think about you all the time…

Let's do the practical bits. I would love you to write back to me, my darling dragonfly girl, let me know how you are, tell me what you have been doing, tell me about the boys you have been out with, I shall try not to be jealous. You can write to me at PO Box HOL. You don't have to put my name on it or anything. Your letters will come straight to me if you end up out of the country just put the UK on the bottom of it. It doesn't matter where I am, that will always reach me within a couple of days.

I have to go, darling, the gaggle is hissing. Write my love soon; I shall be on a knife-edge until I see your letter. 

Love M x

Holly was shocked, breathless and gasping for air. The butterflies in her stomach were turbocharged. My God, he wanted her to write back, she reread the letter, he was thinking about her, he was still seeing other girls, he didn't mind her seeing other men. 

Holly took a deep breath. Slow down girl she thought, slow down. She put the letter in her chest of drawers hiding it amongst her knickers; she would have to find a better place to put it, a more secretive place to hide it. She shot through the rest of the rooms on her corridor, took coffee to the sales manager in room ten, she knew he fancied her, and he was nice, but Holly had much more important things to do this afternoon.

She had four hours until she was back on duty, and skipping lunch, Holly ran down and caught the bus into town, she needed paper envelopes and stamps. She sat on the bus with her earphones in listening to him sing to her; it made her giggle, knowing what she knew. She had brought the letter with her, and she read it over and over again.

The Corner Café was her favourite place she had a piece of her favourite cake and cup of coffee, took out her pen and began.

Oh, my God! 

That's what I thought when I got your letter, even before I had opened it, I knew it was from you. You have hardly been out of my thoughts since that day. 

I should be very cross with you. You were right; I had no idea who you were, though you were familiar, it never dawned on me why. I have to tell you it was a huge shock to see you on breakfast TV sending me messages I nearly had heart failure! 

My friend Ben thought I was ill; in fact, he did most of my rooms for me that morning. No, I didn't tell him, not that he'd be bothered, he's quite used to famous faces, his uncle is Jack Farmer.

Anyway, back to telling you off! Can you imagine how I felt, finding out I'd had wild and wilful (not to mention wonderful) sex in the middle of the countryside with Marco Laine? Have you any idea? This was only two days after our day, and all I wanted was to enjoy the feeling of that beautiful day. To imagine and dream, just like anyone would. Then, of course, you were on TV with that ridiculous woman practically throwing herself at you - talk about putting you off your breakfast! And you were suddenly talking about dragonflies, and I suppose the "someone beautiful" was a reference to me unless of course, you spent all your time up here chatting room maids up And if your reputation is anything to go by, I can well believe it. 

Ok consider yourself well and truly told off.

However, having thought about it, in a way, I am quite glad I didn't know who you were, I'm happy you felt liberated and that I got to see the real Marco. You were lovely, and yes, I do dream about you, and not the superstar (I don't know him). I dream about you holding me and kissing me, but most of all, I dream about you. You were delicious.  But let's get back to reality.

I have to tell you something; I wouldn't like you to think that I do this all the time, having sex with strange men that I have only known for half an hour. You must think I'm dreadful and I have been feeling so guilty, but you are only the second guy I have had sex with, and I'd known the first guy for ages. Oh, for God's sake, you must think I am so stupid.

I have to get back on the bus to the hotel soon, I'm sitting in the Corner Café eating a massive slice of fruit cake and drinking coffee, and am back at work in a couple of hours until nine p.m. Then I can go to bed and dream. It would be lovely to hear from you again, but don't worry, I won't bug you if you don't write.

Love Holly. Xx