Chapter Seventeen

The guilt worsened with each passing day, it gnawed at him and made him unable to function properly. It was now a week since he'd received the call and in that time Halima had regain consciousness, she had been discharged from the hospital and was now back home.

Sufyan's parents and sisters hadn't been allowed to see her and neither had he, he had gone there every evening but he had been refused entry. Her number was switched off. He should let her be, he knew he should respect her family's wish and do what was probably the best for her but this guilt won't go away, it was making him uncomfortable and it was eating at him slowly from the inside.

It was shocking to him, the fact that Halima had tried commiting suicide because of him. Why did she do that? He wasn't worth it so why? Why? What had she been thinking? He'd blamed himself too many times to count, he shouldn't have ignored her, he should have spoken to her and make her understand he was doing what was best for the both of them but like a coward he had refused to speak to her.

"This isn't your fault at all Brother Sufyan, Halima is obviously unwell, that's the only only reason she'd do this. You were only a trigger to her already unstable mental health." Omolara said with a sympathetic expression. The incident had left everyone else in his family shaken especially Maryam, she blamed herself as much as he did.

"I shouldn't have introduced her to him at all. This is all on me wallahi, I wasn't thinking properly and I should have let it be when Brother Sufyan said he wasn't interested now look at what we've done to the poor girl." Maryam had a somber look on as she spoke, her eyes were puffy due to the many times she'd cried during the week each time she remembered it.

Sufyan agreed with her on that fact though, she'd pushed and tried her best to get him and Halima together. Organized a lunch date and left him Midway to it only for him to see Halima minutes later saying Maryam had invited her, they ate lunch together without Maryam because she never returned. She'd been the one who told his parents about Halima, she was the Mastermind behind the relationship so they were both at fault.

"I don't know why you are all blaming yourself for what another person did to herself." Lara murmured.

"Shut up Omolara!" His mother screamed at her. "This is a serious matter, what if the girl had died? Have you thought of that? Imagine what would happen to our reputation if someone had died and blamed your brother in her suicide note!"

"But she didn't!" Lara protested. "She's alive and even if she had died, it's no one's fault but hers. Brother Sufyan didn't actually murder her or something, all he did was not pick her calls and left to me, Halima is overreacting and probably doing all of these for attention."

"Omolara that is enough!" His father said sternly. Everyone else stared at her with shock and she stared back without an iota of regret on her face.

"That's a mean thing to say Sister Lara." Faridah said softly.

"The world is a mean and harsh place Faridah so deal with it!" She snapped.

"I can't believe you Lara, suicide is a very severe thing so how can you accuse someone of doing it for attention? How's that even possible? Did she know she was going to survive?" Maryam was beyond shocked at her sister.

Lara shrugged. "People do anything for attention and it's Halima, I won't be surprised because that girl has given off manipulative vibes the few times I'd met her."

"Omolara I promise that if you say another senseless word about that girl, I will break your bones to show you I'm your mother." His mother threatened as she stared at her daughter with disgust, Lara gave another nonchalant shrug.

"Lara what you'd said was wrong. Islam has taught us to not judge others and that's exactly what you're doing, you might..."

His mother interrupted his father immediately. "We wasted our money to send you to an Islamic school and you can't even act like you went to one."

Lara rolled her eyes and rested her back on the chair making herself more comfortable.

Sufyan's voice was quiet when he spoke, "that's a very wrong thing to say about anyone Lara, you don't know what she's going through and just listen to what you've said and how vilely you're being to her based on your suspicions. Calling her names at this point is definitely very low for you, I understand you might be wanting to look out for me but that's the worst way to go about it, Halima is a nice lady and she's done absolutely no wrong to me or our family so I hope you beg Allah to forgive you for your wrong accusations."

She nodded her head at him and he smiled back.

"The best thing to do now is for all of us to stay away from Halima and her family, that's their wish and we have to respect it no matter how bad we want to know if she's doing well. I believe she's surrounded with people who truly love her and they wouldn't let her make such a mistake again, we're not responsible for her and yet we've tried our best to come to a resolving ground but it's obvious we're the villains in this story so let's stay away and pray for her from a distance, especially you Sufyan."

His father said giving him a warning look, it was obvious he knew about his recent evening rituals.

"That's the least we can do for now, I just pray nothing else happens to her, she's a sweet soul." Maryam's voice was full of regret, Lara scoffed at her.

"I'll be in my room." Sufyan said standing up.

"If you'd only listened to me and done as I had advised." He heard his mother say behind him.

"Titi not now please." His father chided quietly.

"It's not Brother Sufyan's fault Maami, why can't you understand? God! I'm so frustrated with the way of thinking of everyone. The only person that should be blamed is Halima!"

Sufyan didn't pause his stride to know the reaction his mother would have to Lara's words, he continued upstairs. In his room, he picked up his phone and called his younger brother.

"This is a new one bro, I've never had a girl attempt suicide because of me. I'm honestly jealous of you right now." Amir said laughing.

"This is not a topic for your jokes Amir." 

"Stop being so uptight, I know you've all gotten the atmosphere in that house gloomy and all of that so cheer up, aside from me, Lara is the only normal person left, the rest of you are a boring set."

Sufyan shook his head, it was his own fault, of all people to call he'd chosen the ever unserious Amir.

"I still can't believe you got yourself tangled up with braces girl, bro that girl was so weird when we were kids, she used to set us up for the adults. Well right now I'm just glad she's not going to be my sister in law, it's hard to get over childhood grudges." Amir continued.

"You and Lara need to do serious nighttime prayers for Allah's forgiveness because Halima doesn't deserve these."

Amir laughed. "I trust Lara to fill in my shoes. I called that Maryam girl and she was bawling on the phone, I had to end the call because it's not me that'll deal with her tears, the last I remember she has a husband."

Sufyan groaned, where did his parents get Amir from?

"You're joking!"

"I'm not, I tried pacifying her but she kept crying and chanting that it's her fault, bro the lady isn't even dead so why the hysterics? God! You're all drama queens in that house."

"Okay I'm hanging up now."

"Are you on the verge of tears too? If you are then better hang up because I will destroy you, I will ridicule you to no end and I will..."

"Shut up Amir, send my regards to Zareefah."

"A word of advice, get out of that gloomy house for your own sanity. Run away!" 

Sufyan laughed and ended the call but he took his brother's advice. On his way to Khair's Treats, he thought about what Omolara had said about getting manipulative vibes from Halima. Hadassah had once jokingly said she had him wrapped around her tears.

He knew she used the tears thing to blackmail his decisions and it had worked all times but that didn't make her a manipulative, right? Unfortunately it did but he was sure that wasn't her intention, Lara and Amir had made her sound like a devious and controlling woman, meanwhile she was just someone in love.

He found a closed corner at the cafe that was empty, he took a bite of the Swiss rolls and it seemed to taste even better than the first time. Sufyan tried to not remember that he'd met Sabeerah here and had given her his number but she'd still refused to call, it hurt his pride.

"Hey Mr unavailable." 

He looked up and saw her standing in front of him, he did a double take and prayed he wasn't going crazy after all he had been unable to sleep well the past few days.

"You looked so sad and lonely it was almost comical but the little compassionate part of me came out and I just couldn't ignore you with how pitiful you are." As she spoke, she settled herself on the chair opposite his.

"Are you always here?" Was all he could finally come up with.

"I could ask you the same but I'm sensible."

He stared at her with shock but she didn't seem to realize how rude her comment had been, she stared at him back. 

He didn't say anything to her again and focused on taking small bites of his snack, she picked up her phone and went through it. Sufyan watched her unnoticeably, she was dressed in a black abaya and a dark blue veil, her face was bare of makeup as usual but still, she looked stunning.

He noticed the stares of few men lingered on her and he couldn't blame them, it was hard to look away.

"Figure it out yourself Matt, one day I'm going to be dead and you'll have to finally begin to use your own head, start practicing." 

Sufyan was shocked at her, she was on a call and her face was morphed into an angry look.

"Wow." He muttered.

"I'm at Khair's Treats where I've decided to stay because if I'd stayed a minute longer in that meeting, I'll set that building on fire with all of us in it." She was talking with a serious expression and Sufyan could only stare at her trying to decipher if she was joking or not.

She laughed at something Matt said at the other end. "I took a taxi, come get me then and come with my card, it's inside my bag and my bag should be in the office, I can't get anything and I'm yet to do the mobile transfer settings."

A chuckle. "I'm always with my card, of course I'd forget. Be here soon or you'll be demoted, I'm being serious."

"What would you like?" Sufyan heard himself ask. She looked up at him with a blank expression and then turn back to her phone, ignoring him.

Okay! Two could play the ignoring game, he said to himself but few minutes later he was uncomfortable with it. He stood up and went to the counter where he ordered an Oreo cake loaf and a vanilla flavored ice cream.

He dumped the tray in front of her and sat back on his seat, she looked from the tray then to him and her eyes narrowed.

"I don't like vanilla flavor." Was all she said.

"You're welcome."

"Did I say thank you? I'm definitely going to pay you back." She looked at him with a mild confused expression.

"Are you always this way?" He asked.

"What way?" 

"Rude, ungrateful, unaccommodating?"

"Uhmm, yeah?"

"It's not cute, this bitchy attitude thing you have going on, it just makes you stereotypical and immature."

Her lips set in a straight line and she glared at him as if she would grab him by the neck and be the end of him if she could. 

"What do you think your I'm a nice man attitude makes you? An easy to control airhead with a sprinkle of 'I'm going to do what I think you want so you'll like me because I crave being liked' that's a better option yeah?"

Sufyan was stunned to silence, no one has said something this harsh to him. He knew he wasn't innocent either, he shouldn't have called her stereotypical but in his defense, she was acting so. Was he also what she'd just described him as? Hell no! She was just talking out of a place of anger.

"I'm going to ignore you now." He simply said.

She smirked. "Are you asking for my permission to ignore me just so I wouldn't get upset with you when you do?"

Sufyan had never met a more infuriating woman than this one sitting right here.