Chapter 5

I was sitting in the car with my dad on our way home. He picked me up from the airport with a huge bouquet of red roses. It was a lovely gesture, considering that my father thought that flowers as a gift are a pure waste of money. He wanted to congratulate me on landing a job and also just to cheer me up. Dad never asked for details, but he knew every important thing about my life, and he knew that going back to Lily's hometown will be hard on me.

"Say, Rebecca, how do you feel about your new life in New York? It took you six months to get used to your life in Miami. So I am kind of worried."

"Thanks to Chase and Jenny, everything is so much easier. They support me and help me with all of my antics and issues. Without them, I would have been lost in this town and probably would have never even tried to find a job here."

"Chase is a very nice young man. There were times when I thought that you would be with him."

"Dad! I never thought about him in that way. Never! Yeah, I was once in his bed, but after it - we were just friends."

"But you were very close to him. All of your boyfriends were jealous of your friendship with him—even the last one. Cody knew Chase in person, and he knew Jenny, but still. He even asked for my advice. What should he do about your closeness."

"What?! I..."

"You never thought that men saw Chase as a threat? Rebecca, sometimes you are too naive. For example, the disappearance of your necklace in the midst of the lake."

"It happened not because Logan was..."

"Logan? I always thought that it was Drew."

I fell silent. I said too much. No one knew about what had happened that night at the lake. No one. Just me and Logan. It was the end, the final nail to the coffin of our friendship. And I never mentioned the reasons, because I had no idea what they were. And I didn't say to anyone about the person responsible for that. I bit my lower lip in annoyance with myself.

"Baby girl, if you don't want to talk about it, then don't. There is no pressure here, and I won't say anything to your mother. Because she won't let you off the hook until she knows everything."

"Thank you, dad. I appreciate it." I smiled at him, he slightly turned his head to look at me, and I saw a small smile on his lips. It didn't even reach his eyes. He was sad.

The rest of the ride, we made small talk. We were talking about our family's friends and other relatives. I also told him more about my future job and my responsibilities. When the car stopped near the house, I saw dad hesitating. I turned my head and stared at him.

"Rebecca, I said earlier that you don't need to tell me anything. But I think that you need to take it off your chest. It's bugging you. It prevents you from living to the fullest."

"You sound just like Chase now. Yesterday he reminded me about our talk a few days ago. He also told me that I need to make peace with my past. He even said that I am a plain copy of myself."

"Did he?" Now, dad's smile was genuine. He was glad to hear that I had this kind of support from my friend. It was vital for him to know that there are people who care about his daughter.

"Uh huh." I realized that I was smiling at my dad.

"Remind me to call him and to thank him. And his wife." Dad opened the door, and I followed suit. "You look better now, I could tell. But what he said about the plain copy... Maybe he just meant your hair color? Because I don't like it. You were so beautiful with your natural color and now these platinum blond strands. They are confusing me."

"Not you too." I slightly pushed dad, and he laughed. He winded his arm around my shoulders, keeping me close to his side. "Is it really that bad?"

"Rebecca, you are my daughter. And I love you no matter what. I always thought that you were gorgeous, but with this new color... You just don't look like yourself. I think I need time to get used to that, that's all."

We walked to the porch, and dad opened the door for us to come inside. I sniffed the air and realized that my mom made something very delicious according to this rich aroma of mushrooms. I loved her cream-soup with mushrooms, and I hoped that I guessed it right.

"I will take your suitcase to your room while you go and greet your mother. She must be in the kitchen."

I nodded at dad. He was right; my mom was in the kitchen. She was in an excellent mood, as she was dancing on the spot while cutting vegetables. I leaned on the doorframe and smiled. Mom was in her element. She was a very cheerful person; she laughed a lot and was always easy to talk too. Even too easy, sometimes. She taught me to use my beauty to my advantage, while dad was balancing this by saying that I also need to use my brains if I want to achieve something. They were as black and white, so I even wondered how come that they got married. Must be love and respect for each other.

"Oh my God, Rebecca!" Mom squealed and rushed to hug me. I hugged her back, inhaling so familiar perfume. Dear God, how much I missed this feeling. I closed my eyes and realized that I had no desire to let her go. "Honey, I need to check up on chicken.."

I sighed and stepped aside. Mom hurriedly went to the oven, glanced inside, and turned to me with a satisfied grin on her lips. But then her eyes went up and down on me, and I saw a deep wrinkle appear between her eyebrows.

"Sweetheart, you look so fragile now. I can't even say why I think like that... I know that my daughter is the strongest person I've ever met in my life. You are not afraid to follow your dreams! When I was your age, the thought about moving to some big city hadn't even crossed my mind. I was afraid of new beginnings, well... and I've met your dad already and..."

"And then there was me. I know, mom. Sorry, that I am still not married and even don't have a boyfriend."

"I am not worried about it. The right time will come, and you will meet your Prince Charming."

"Lydia, I thought we agreed that our daughter is a brilliant and intelligent girl, and she doesn't need a prince for her life to be amazing."

Dad walked into the kitchen. He already changed and now was in his comfy clothes. I decided to use this opportunity and to sneak to my room. I desperately wanted to take a shower.

"Mom, Dad, I will go upstairs. I need to wash my face and change clothes. At what time were you planning to have dinner?"

"In an hour." Mom said, not averting her eyes from the knife in her hands. She was uncomfortable after dad's remark.

"Okay." I kissed my dad on the cheek and went to my room.

Everything was just like I remembered: my king-size bed in the middle of the room, a bookcase, a table with a stool and a loveseat near the window. I loved to spend my time in this loveseat with a book in hand, looking from time to time through the window. I could easily see Kate's room from here. It was dark and so empty. She moved to her husband's hometown without any regrets. She was leaving behind her parents and her home. I did the same, I know, but it felt different. Maybe because of her marriage to Tim, she distanced herself from her mom and dad. She was like Tim's shadow, and I honestly was afraid that he would get bored with her. Fortunately, I was wrong, but I hadn't had the opportunity to see them together for almost a year. I hoped that everything was well between them.

I hopped to the shower, and when I was back in my room, I changed into my dress for home and started rubbing my hair with the towel. A few minutes after, I realized that I was standing near my bed and staring at the photos on my bedside table. There were photos from my childhood, with Kate and me happily laughing on one of them. There were photos from college when our whole gang was together. It was the happiest time for me, my second year, and pictures from Miami with my colleagues. My whole life was before me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Chase and dad were right. I needed to talk about it. To try to understand me and my reactions. Because it wasn't normal. I am perfectly aware of it. My sadness and anger toward Logan had no logical explanation. But to think about it, our whole relationship had no logic. How we were reacting to each other since the moment we saw one another for the first time. How this tension between us was building until it exploded in his room when I convinced him to cheat on his girlfriend with me. How we started our friendship and had this undeniable understanding. He was my best friend, and he promised to be there for me forever. Yeah, I was too naive, thinking that he will keep his promise.

I shook my head. I will talk about it with someone. Maybe I will call Chase and Jenny. Or I could talk to mom. I didn't want for dad to know about it. I wanted to stay his little girl for him, as I was when I was a child. I didn't want to make him worry. Mom was stronger, and she had this willingness to understand me no matter what. I was afraid that dad would be ashamed. If only he knew about my visit to Logan's room when it was my first time at their house, he would be embarrassed for sure. Mom knew, and she wasn't judging. Yep, I will talk to her tonight. I felt that I was ready.