Chapter 14

"You don't trust us, do you? Why would you keep that from us? If it's not because of the captain, then," Jennica cried.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know that it is my fault but what can I do? I don't want to make you worry!"

"And we will not get worried if you wouldn't tell us, is that what you're trying to say?" Charlotte asked sarcastically.

Rowie bit her tongue. She knew that her friend had a point. She just didn't know what to say. She's guilty for even hiding that to them. But what could she do? She didn't want her friends to know that they were in pinch. Getting them involved with their family matters was the last thing she wanted.

"Did you know the rumor about you ditching Shin is also flying quite fast?" Charlotte blurted out making Rowie's eyes popped open. Her mouth literally flew open with the news. She didn't have any idea what her friend was talking about.

"What... the hell?" She silently cursed.

"Yes, that's why we thought that it was the thing you're hiding. We didn't expect it to be about your little sister but is that rumor true?" Jennica asked, curiously.

"Don't even lie to us about it, Jerg."

Rowie's eyes wondered around. Now she's conscious about her surroundings. It felt like everyone was watching her every moves. She needed to be careful from now on. She faced her two friends before frowning a little – didn't know where to start.

"Well, you know..."

Jennica and Charlotte face their friend a little closer – wanting to hear every detail. They were curious like hell on what was going on. It was Kazu that she liked so why would the rumor talk about Shintaro instead?

"You see, before the Christmas vacation, he asked me on a date." Jennica bit her lower lip to suppress her voice – trying to calm herself down and prevent herself from screaming. She wanted to hear more.

"Then?" Charlotte asked impatiently.

"He asked me... then I didn't make it," Rowie frowned and felt guilty, again. She remembered exactly what happened that day and she couldn't help but regret everything. She wanted to turn back the time but she's aware that the same thing would happen over and over again. She would still choose her sister.

The two girls groaned, obviously not satisfied with the turn of events. "Why would you do that? I mean, I know that Kazu was your crush but..." Charlotte let out a groan again and placed her palm on her forehead.

"We'll listen. Tell us everything."

It was not really easy for her to let that thing slide. She never even imagined herself dating a guy. That's why Shin asking her out was like an illusion. But the guilt was not because she left him – it was not because the date didn't happened. The thing she was very regretful of was that she hadn't even explained anything to him.

For her, it was too late. She lost her motivation in almost everything already. The only thing that was keeping her from going on was her sister, her mother and her father. She couldn't find any other reason to live anymore. If only not for them, she would rather choose death.

They were the only people who were keeping her alive. It was already too hard for her, both physically and emotionally.

But the thing was, why did it hurt? Why did it hurt so much whenever she thought of leaving Shin behind? What was this weird feeling on her chest? It was like a heavy metal was making her hard to breathe just by thinking about him.