Chapter One

It all started the day I beheld a girl standing at the ingang of a church I attended at the time. The church was built in a cross shape which was rectangular to represent the resurrection of Jesus as a symbol of Christianity. I had no inkling that such church existed since it looked like one built before Reformation and tended to be traditional and remain in that layout. 

She stood there like a living goddess, radiating a beauty known only of mermaids. Her presence seemed to whip everyone who beheld her into a certain orgy of pleasantries. She was acknowledged for her charming looks and her presence outshone the sun. She was indeed the fairest of maiden; a beauty that words could not describe. 

It was still morning and the whole fair, green world seemed to be laughing in the sunlight; the christians were full of sunshine and fragrance; the surrounding was full of sweet scent from the flowers that came peeping at me. Children were singing in the distance as the birds were singing in the trees. My very heart filled with a great, beautiful content that I had repented. There were women, fair as the morning, with the hue of a delicate flower on their beautiful faces; at the threshold were two children, and the sweet, high-pitched sound of their laughter came to me with the songs of birds as I watched how they played with glee. Without being told, I knew they were friends. 

*

I had always wanted to have a friend ever since I was young. A friend who could be by my side; to fight for me in times of trouble, assist me in times of hardship, encourage me in times of difficulties, and show me love in all situations. My dream of having such a friend always ran through my mind and whenever I saw there was no hope for having such a friend, I winced and cursed under my breath. 

"This world is a wicked world. There is no such thing as friendship," brother would always say to counter my thoughts. 

Personally, I believed in friendship. I defined a friend as 'a faithful relation which is an important element and never destroy.' Though I heard folks oppose my definition, I was firm on it. "It is all about understanding the kind of friend you have. If you both understand yourselves, how can your friendship be destroyed?" I would say in defence. 

Through these thoughts, a quiet, tender love came into my heart as I realized that I was in the midst of the best kind of folk I wanted as friends. I looked searchingly to communicate with the girl who stood at the threshold  but uncertainty positioned by my side. I had no self-assurance that she could talk to me owing to the fact that she looked like one in the upper-class. Dissimilar to her, I had that kind of beauty which seemed to be thrown into relief by poor dress. I clasped my hands together leaving words to rise to my lips and my heart condemned it even before they were uttered; but the passion of the moment carried me away. The light, the flowers, the children, the attractive faces and starry eyes of the charming people all buried to my mind letting the shadow of prudence and demureness die away. But there was no loving word I could use on them, no loving cognomen that I could profuse on them, no verbose thoughts came to me of the fair children and lovely women. It was as though I was carried away by delta decay, by the allure of women whose very glance was enough to tranquilize the wisest of men. I had a thousand thought, but had no idea of how I could express them. All my fancy longing shut up in my heart and was ached with the weight of them. If only I knew whom I could talk to. 

Slowly, the passion arrived and drew nearer to me. I stood for a few minutes seeking who to approach. Few words rose to my lips and I was inspired to reach out to someone. I didn't quiver this time as I had boldness by my side. I was determined and decided to walk towards the girl standing at the ingang. Just then, I stopped abruptly; and for the moment my passion ceased. 

From where I stood, a lad walked up to her and took her hand in a firm clasp. He said words to her that seemed to burn deep, words that burned their way to heart and brain leaving her to feel like a Queen bee as she threw a jaunty smile. I glanced at them and I felt a thrill of apprehension while diffidentness twisted and turned me. This was the beginning of how timidity embraced and clung to me without letting go. They never knew I was watching from afar and it would have been clueless to walk up to them as it was what I thought. Slowly, blindly, gradually, almost unconsciously, I kept gazing at the laughing sun as I solely stood, waiting for the moment to be overtaken by me. 

It was when the mellifluous, passionate music of "Ocean–Where Feet May Fail" floated round me that my heart woke to a sudden sense of great passion that I was able to attend the church that day. I became sensitive of a newer life, of something in my life that was ardent pleasure and ardent pain, that stunned and mystified me. It was only in music that my heart could speak its true words for I was likely to quell. My heart vibrated its voice as it happened to look uncanny that all my thoughts I was longing to pour and let to rush like running water was all buried. 

It was there, right there, I stared, looking towards the threshold of the church, with the charm of the music all round, that the lad seemed to pour more of his feelings to the damsel and she listened with intense interest. Perhaps it was an intriguing and sweet story but it was a sad story to me since I felt hapless and was carried away like myself.