IX

Have you ever asked yourself what's the problem with you? Why you're not good enough? And why you're being betrayed and judged even if you're not a book?

One that's being judged because of it's cover, how can they do it so easily when they didn't even spare a second or two to find out what's really on it.

-

"It's your first day of school today!" My mother packed my things for me.

Today is my first day of school as a kinder student in Pevanshire Alterwood University.

Mommy, I'm excited !!" I said happily to her and even raised my two little hands. She smiled at me then held my hand until we could get in the car.

My eyes widened when I saw how the broken bridge appear so we can cross. The driver pressed something on the remote so the bridge would appear instantly.

I saw how beautiful Herst Fort is. They're always at peace ever since my mom gave birth to me.

They bow their heads down to the princess and to the queen of Pevanshire. I innocently bow at them too.

"Good morning!!" I greeted them and they avoided my gaze.

"Let's go?" My mother said. I nodded.

My eyes widened innocently when I saw the school. It's big! Really big!

"This is my school, mommy?" I innocently asked her.

She knelt in front of me so we could be on the same level. She touched both of my cheeks then pulled out a few strands of my hair covering my face.

"Mommy will wait for you there," turo niya sa isang gintong pintuan na nasa gitna ng dalawang building. "I'll be waiting until your class is done, okay?" I nodded and kissed her cheeks.

She walked with me until we reached my classroom. There are so many royalties and regulars. They should be in one room so they can know each other.

"Bye, Athaliah!" She waved at me until she disappears.

I can't catch up with them. Lahat sila ay may mga kaibigan na at ako ay nakaupo lang sa gilid ng bintana tinitignan silang nag-uusap at tumatawa.

I'm not that talkative when making some friends. It is not my habit to be the first to talk just to have a friend because I am waiting for them to be the first to come and talk to me.

"H... Hello!" Bati sa akin ng isang magandang babae.

"Hi," bati ko sa kaniya.

"Ako si Adira... Adira Felicie Bizellane." Sabay abot niya sa akin ng kaniyang kamay.

She's beautiful. Her hair was color hazelnut and it flowed over her shoulders. She had slender eyebrows. She had rapture-brown eyes. She has a saccharine sweet lips. They were blossom soft and also she a glossy skin. Perfect to join a modeling...

"Princess Athaliah Neriah Lauverés," inabot ko naman sa kaniya ang aking kamay.

She did not look bad even though she was regular, I saw a sweet smile on her lips.

"Princess? How beautiful you are, princess," she sat down next to me while not taking her eyes off me.

Para rin siyang isang anghel na bigla na lang inihulog mula sa langit.

"I don't have any friends," she said sadly to me. "Can we just be friends?"

"Sure if that's what you want." I shrugged then the class started when the teacher arrived.

Sa totoo lang kung ano ang tinuturo ng guro ay alam ko na dahil itinuro na ito noong tatlong taon pa lamang ako.

"Okay that's all for today!" I hurriedly grab my things when I felt someone grabbed my shoulder.

"Are you going home right away?" Adira asked.

"No," was my only answer and when I left the classroom she still followed me.

She just followed me until we reached the golden door with the words "Royalties office" on it.

"Why are you going in there?" Adira asked with a raised eyebrow.

"My mother is here," I pointed the door.

"Pwede bang sumama?!" Excited niyang tanong.

"You're not even a royalty, Adira." Singhal ko.

"Pretty please," She clasps her hands together at nag puppy eyes pa.

I took a deep breath before nodding to her. I was surprised when she suddenly pulled me and hugged me very tightly. When she let go I knocked at the grand door.

"Princess Athaliah," sabi ng isang guwardya at napatingin pa siya kay Adira.

"She's my friend." Tanging sabi ko at nauna ng pumasok.

I immediately run when I saw Prince Marius talking with my mom.

"My prince!" I yelled and hugged him so tight. "I missed you!" He hugged me back.

"I missed you too, my princess" he looked behind me.

"She's... She's my friend." When I turned around to see Adira, her eyes were sparking while she's staring at Prince Marius.

In my mind I'm laughing at her because of her reaction.

Its Prince Marius he always gets that reaction from everyone.

Adira and I stayed as friends hanggang sa nag grade two na kami. Sometimes we buy stuffs for bff thingy. Things changed when she met some new friends and I was left behind.

"I bought you a gift!" Excited kong sabi sa kaniya sabay pakita ng purple box.

"Hala! Ano iyan?" She grabs the box and opens it. Her eyes sparked when she saw the Stefano Canturi Diamond Barbie.

I bought that toy because I saw how she pleaded her mom to buy her a Barbie doll. I bought that when we're out of the country.

"Thank you so much!" She hugged me tight and I also did.

Things really changed when new things come. Friends changed when they meet someone new. Best friends can leave you even how many years you bond with each other, together.

"Who wants to come on my birthday?!" I heard Adira asked.

"Me!!" All of them answered except me. She likes spending her money to make friends.

"Princess Athaliah?" Her friends approached me. "Ano naman at ayaw mong pumunta?"

"I thought you're friends?"

Friends... We are?

I think we were.

I didn't answer them instead I just grab my things and left the room.

Things go on until we reached our last year in elementary. Things got hard for me...

Adira and her evil friends hate me so much because I always disagree with their decisions.

I somehow cried silently because of what they're doing. I'm a princess but they still can embarrass me in front of everyone and that hurts me!

"Hoy Athaliah!" Alexandria called me. Napalunok ako habang dahan-dahang lumalapit sa kaniya. "Throw this, please." She said and accidentally drops the cup noodles with a soup inside and my shoes got wet.

"Why did you do that?!"

"Don't yell at me baby," she smirked. "Hindi ko sinasadya," Napapikit ako ng mariin saka dinampot ang cup noodles, kumuha ako ng tissue saka pinahid ang aking sapatos.

When your friends are evil, then you'll also become one of them.

"Sipsip mo naman Athaliah!"

"Ate paabot nga ng straw katulad ni Athaliah!"

"Sipsip na Goma pa!"

It thorns my heart whenever I hear those words coming from them. How can they judge me when they don't even know who really am I? How can they conclude that easily when they don't really know who are they bullying.

They called me "Sip sip" because some of the students wants to be friends with me and they're insecure about that.

I thought things will get better in highschool, but it turns out to be my worst nightmare.

It was my first day of school when I and Adira decided to reunite.

"I missed you so much!" I hugged her tight.

"I missed you too!" We intertwined our hands.

I prayed that things will get better but she didn't change at all. I decided to make friends but I ended up to be bullied again.

Adira met some new friends and left me behind for the second time. She's always like that...

"Athaliah can you do this for me?" I can't reject anyone so I decided to do their assignments.

On September 12 I met some new friends, only Princess Zariah and some princes who accepted me for who I am.

They didn't judge me instead they cheer me up. They always stood by my side. They always protect me..

When I was left alone in the room with Adira's squad my heart fell apart.

"Bakit kaya may choka rito?" Choka is what they called Squid.

"Ready sing!"

"CHOKA! CHOKA! ISA AKONG CHOKA!" I can't even face them.

The two of them are passing behind me while singing that line. I am a soft hearted person so instead of getting mad at them, in my mind I already forgave them.

"Ang plastik dapat tinatapon iyan hindi na iniipon pa sa isang gilid," The teacher said and I saw her squad glanced at me.

"Oo nga po sir kaya nga po nagiging mabaho eh kasi pakalat-kalat at kung saan saan pa nagdidikit!"

"Dapat talaga tinatapon na yung mga plastik!"

It just hurt my heart because I once became her friend but I ended up to be her enemy.

'Before you call me plastic look at yourself first.'

She's a friend who leaves her friend behind when she met some new friends.

On my second year I was blamed and I just laughed at that. It's not my fault why this guy fell in love with me.

I was blamed and blackmailed.

Funny how people used to make fun of you and blame you to the things you didn't even do.

"Athaliah may gusto ka ba kay Dave?" I was shocked when a squad suddenly approached me.

"Wala," aalis na sana ako nang harangin nila ang dadaanan ko. "Iba ang gusto ko at alam mo yun Roxan!" Sabi ko sa isa kong kilala.

"Ahh oo nga diba si ano ang gusto mo," she convinced her friends. "Thank you."

It's not my fault why some of the guys are falling in love with someone like me. Duhh, I am just me and they are hating me because they can not be like me, for they thought that to be like me, means that ideal guys would automatically like you.

I don't want to ruin other people's relationship but I was blamed again.

"Diba si Athaliah ang dahilan kung bakit nag break si Dave at Lyren"

"May sinabi raw siya kay Dave"

"Naninira daw siya!"

"Mang-aagaw haha!"

Actually dahil sa akin naging sila because I pushed Dave away dahil alam kong gusto na siya ni Lyren but it ended up I'm the one who ruin them.

Ni hindi nga nila narinig ang side ko at hindi nila tinanong kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari. Hindi nila alam ang buong kwento, pero kung makahusga sila parang daig mo pa ang isang hayop sa paningin nila.

Its funny how people used to blame you where in fact all you did was good, but too bad that they couldn't even see it.

My eyes? I really loved my eyes and my bitch face but they always misunderstood my glances.

"Athaliah bakit masama ka sa akin tumitingin?"

"Am I?" Sarkastiko kong tanong sa kaniya.

"You are," madiin niyang sabi sa akin at tinaasan ako ng kilay. "Mag sorry ka na lang sa akin."

"Huh?" Natatawa kong tanong sa kanya. "Why would I?"

"Kasalanan mo naman kasi!"

Ganoon ka-toxic ang mga tao sa mundo. Sa isang tingin mo parang tinapakan mo na ang pagkatao nila. Sa isang tingin mo parang ang sama mo na sa paningin nila.

I was bullied... I was blamed...

I decided to leave that toxic school because of those toxic students.

Hinde eh, hindi nila alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko tuwing may sinasabi sila sa akin na hindi naman pala totoo. Pero minsan iniisip ko ayos na lang kasi doon sila masaya hahayaan ko na lang sila.

Tatanggapin ko lahat ng salitang sinasabi't tinatapon nila sa akin at iipunin ko ang lahat nang iyon upang gawing motibasyon.

Wala naman akong masyadong pinagsisihan sa buhay ko eh, maliban lang sa hindi ko naipagtanggol ang sarili ko dahil kinimkim ko ang lahat. Lahat ng sakit at hinanakit na nararamdaman ko ay itinago at inipon ko hanggang sa mamanhid na ako't walang maramdaman.

At 'eto na ako ngayon, eto na ang bunga't produkto ng lahat ng iyon.