LOGINThe bell rings at exactly 09:30AM. Its almost time for Mathematics, my least favourite subject. The noise stops as Mr.Rotimi, our Mathematics teacher enters the class. Typical Mr.Rotimi, with his oblong face and fat cheeks, his pot belly and K legs. He also has uniquely cut tribal marks on both cheeks. To him, Mathematics is a general subject, so every student is expected to know maths. Due to his method of flogging anyone who fails his questions,classwork or an assignment,most of the students know maths to a considerable extent.
"Good morning,Mr.Rotimi."The class echoes with a standing ovation as usual.
"Yes. Good morning class. You can have your sit,"Mr.Rotimi says as he goes to the board. He writes five equations. He turns back,looks at all of us one after the other and smiles.
"Hey,you there!stand up! Come and solve number 2."He points at Ade,one of the most notorious boys in the school. Ade doesn't care about anything that concerns learning. He was suspended last session because he was caught with Linda,the school's health prefect in the school's library making out. He was disgraced publicly on the assembly ground. The VP thought the three weeks suspension given to him would straighten him out. The incident actually made him more popular. It made the guys hail and respect him the more and also made more girls fall for him. There is nothing special about him;He is about 5.6 foot tall,has a normal physique and a rather terrifying bass voice. I still don't know why the girls prefer the notorious guys rather than we,the good ones who follow the rules. Its really absurd! Sometimes I wish I am in his shoes. The popularity,the attention and the pride seems cool,but the pubic disgrace and the academic failure, I cannot bear. Mama would surely break down and Papa will beat the living day light out of me. Dave would surely be proud of me.
Ade stands up and walks to the board. Mr.Rotimi hands him the marker. He stretches his hand to the upper left side of the board,writes the question again and stares at nothing in particular. It appears as if he is in a trance.
"Do you think we have all day here!" Mr. Rotimi yells.
Good! I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time. Ade has always been the 'star boy',always surrounded by a ton of friends he calls gang. To top it all up,he is the immediate younger brother of Emmanuel,the labour prefect. I guess jerks run in the family.
Suddenly,he snaps out of his trance and begins to solve the question. Without stopping for a second,he solves the question and to my greatest surprise,he solves it correctly. Mr.Rotimi,obviously in shock asks the class to applaud him.
Ade gently bows and with a smirk on his face,he goes to his seat.
He continues with his questions. He calls Jide,our brightest Maths student. Without wasting as much as a second he solves the question.
"class,give him a round of applause,"as he always say.
"I know I can count on Jide,anytime,anywhere. Class, give him another round of applause."
We hesitantly respond. Jide has always been the shy type,like me,never taking risks especially with girls. Well,at least his good brains compensate for his timidity.
"Hey,you there!"Mr.Rotimi shouts,pointing towards my direction. Immediately,I duck,focusing on my book. I swear,I can't see a single thing written on it.
I guess you are wondering why the Popular Timmy that won the All-Bright Milo contest is afraid to be called on by the maths teacher. Well,maths became complicated. The simple figures I used to know suddenly turned Spanish when I got to Jss3 and since then,maths has been a thing of the past,nevertheless,I still have my off and on moments.
"Timmy,the maths teacher is calling you or have you gone deaf!well,I don't blame you,I blame your elephant ears!"Ade says,looking at me. As expected,the whole class laughs,including the maths teacher. This is That moment where you kneel and ask God,why me!?or you wish the earth could open and swallow you. I notice Amanda and Bolaji are the only people not enjoying the foul joke. Amanda has always been my crush,well,every boy's crush. She is amazingly beautiful,with her curly long hair and eye lashes,her uniform always on point,its as if the tailor studied her for decades before making it and to top it all up, she has a rather enchanting curvy stature. I forgot to mention her voice; She has an amazingly calm soprano voice. She was actually The winner of the talent competition;the one I wanted to rap but totally humiliated myself in front of the massive crowd.
"Hey,stop that!"Mr.Rotimi says,after laughing his guts out.
"Timmy!come,come out and solve this question on the board. Solve Number six." He says as he stretches his hand to give me the marker.
"B---but sir,there is no number six on the board."I stutter.
"Class,do you know why I like this boy?" Mr.Rotimi blotters and by the way,that's a very stupid rhetorical question.
"Because he is very observant. Yes,I did not put number six because I have a customized number six specially for you,my dear boy."
Oh God!I can feel my heart pounding and my hands dancing to the tune.
At this point, the whole class suddenly becomes so quiet and peaceful as if this is a do or die situation. Actually, it is,because if I by chance fail the question he is about to write I will be literally brutalized by him. He goes ahead and writes a quadratic equation. Not just any quadratic equation, its the one that has fractions in it.
Luckily, Bolaji fully explained everything about quadratic equation to me last week. What will I do without my ever-thoughtful friend,Bolaji?
Now that I know I can solve it,I intend on adding a little bit of suspense and drama to this unfolding scene.
"But sir,this is not the topic we were dealing with earlier,"I say in a devastating tune.
"Don't get me angry kid,I taught all of you this or didn't I?yes or no!?" Mr.Rotimi roars.
Now,to add the final finishing touch,I reluctantly go to the board and I clean the question. Knowing fully well it will anger Mr.Rotimi, I slowly and carefully re-write the question, then I solve the question to an extent. I smile.
Its pay back time!
"Can someone please help me solve this with his or her calculator? I would have called Ade but I know he won't be able to solve it, even with Einstein's personal calculator. Well,we can't blame him, getting suspended is the one thing he knows how to do best."
The whole class bursts into what seems to be a never ending laughter, including Amanda. The look on Ade's face is mouth watering.
"All of you! shut up now!"
Mr.Rotimi sure knows how to end beautiful moments.
"Ade and Timmy, if you know you have a score to settle, you can do it outside and not in my class.
This is not a stand up comedy stage or a circus!Both of you see me in my office at break. Arrant nonsense!"
Well,the deed has been done.
Mission accomplished.
It's the last period before break time. The CRS teacher is literally talking us to sleep as she continues,
"And that's why Judas betrayed Jesus. Any questions?Okay,no question. If you have any question talk now o!You are paying for it. Don't waste your parents mo----Timmy!Timothy Chigozie!"Bolaji slightly pushes me,waking me up from my sub consciousness;The moment of being half asleep and half awake. You can hear the voices,but you are unable to listen to them. Your eyes are closed but you are not fully asleep. Its astonishing.
"So you are sleeping in my class." Those piercing eyes staring at me intently.
"No ma,I-I-I wasn't sleeping,"I stutter.
"so you are saying I'm a liar!eh,I don't know what I am saying,abi?"
Abi is a Yoruba word for isn't it?In Lagos,some Yoruba words have been indicted into our English speaking. Even we the igbos use the word. You can't blame us,its what we hear we speak.
"No ma,I really wasn't sleeping."
In these kinds of situation,
defending yourself is totally useless.
"Okay o,Mr.Lawyer. What did I say last?" She balances herself on her chair. That's the final nail to the coffin. Oh God!I'm in trouble. I try signalling Bolaji to help me out but those piercing eyes wouldn't let me. In my sub consciousness,I heard something like Peter,bla bla bla,Jesus,bla bla bla,betrayal,bla bla bla. It was so faint but my brain managed to pick something. The real problem is,how do I place the sentence and how am I sure that's what I heard and my brain is not playing tricks on me?well,there's only one way to find out.
"Ma,You were tal------talking about-----Peter and Jesus,The ------betrayal of Peter by Jesus." The class bursts into laughter. Now I'm confused. What on Earth is making them laugh?I'm so tensed right now and they are making it worse.
"So Timmy,Peter betrayed Jesus?Really?Take me to your pastor because I'm sure I didn't teach that."
She says,trying her best to control her laughter.
"Oh. Sorry ma,I meant the betrayal of Jesus by Judas." The class bursts into another round of laughter. I feel so embarrassed right now.
"well,at least you were listening,even if you mixed the names up.
I'm sure its almost time for break."
Gbagan!Gbagan!Gbagan!The Time keeper rings the bell.
"Okay class,make sure you read your books and do your assignment. Exam is just around the corner."She stands.
Immediately,Amanda goes to carry her belongings,walking so graciously beside the teacher.
Whenever I see her my heart literally skips a beat. I forgot to mention she is the Assistant Class rep in our class.
"Timmy,there she goes o. Will you allow this chance pass you by?"Bolaji says as he prepares himself for break.
"Baba,she is with the teacher na,and besides, I want our first time to be romantic,"I say,trying to justify the unjustifiable .
"My guy,you you've been saying this thing since Primary5. What do you mean by 'our first time'? For Christ sake,its just a chat With her and not your unbreakable virginity."His loud laughter echoes in the near empty class room.
"You nko,"I respond immediately.
Nko is another of our English indicted Yoruba. It may mean 'how about you'. Like in a situation where the person scolding you isn't a saint,you just say,you nko.
"How many girls have you gotten?eh!if someone had heard you, the person would be thinking you are one bad ass player,but we both know we are the same. And if you call Bola's name I swear to God you'll go home with a black eye."
Well,They say birds of a feather flock together. The only difference between me and Bolaji is that he dated Bola when we were in Jss3. Back then,I was in the boarding house. I never wanted to be a boarder,but Dave and Mr.Oluyemi used my junior Waec to lure me into the boarding house. I still don't know if they worked together. I'm not surprised because David Oluchukwu Chigozie always gets what he wants and by all means. My exam was just around the corner so the school organized prep sessions three times a day for the boarding house but one prep session for the day students. Beforehand,Dave told me about his plans of changing to a boarder. He asked if I wanted to join him. I blatantly refused. He insisted and insisted and insisted till he got tired and said,"Whether you like it or not,You'll come to the boarding house with me."I thought he was bluffing till papa took me and Dave to school on that hot Saturday afternoon and told us to see the principal for directives and that I should temporarily stay in the boarding house. My stay in the boarding house wasn't bad,but I still prefer my personal space so I changed back immediately after my exam.
It was an unusually boring Saturday. Most of the students hung out at the play ground, leaving me, Bolaji and a few of our classmates in our bunk. Out of boredom,I took my note and wrote,'You are so beautiful, with your smiles as fresh as roses. You are the queen of my heart. I love you so much and I want you to know a minute doesn't go by without me thinking about you,my radiating sunshine,"a line I picked from a romantic Mexican movie Mama and Cindy literally forced Dave and I to watch.It was the little kissing scenes they showed that attracted us to the movie. Mama would look at us whenever the scenes came up. I used to sincerely close my eyes till Dave taught me the trick of covering your eyes with your hands and then carefully separating two fingers allowing us to watch without Mama noticing. A friend of Bolaji's went through the note and said it was incredible. We all knew Bolaji had a thing for Bola so we decided to help his ministry. We told him to write it because it wouldn't have worked if the note was in my handwriting.We found a sweet lie to lure him into writing it on a freshly torn piece of paper we tore from his notebook. After all, we are the ones helping him so his note must be the one that'd suffer it. After writing the note,we secretly put his name untop as the addresser and placed Bola's name under as the addressee.As expected,she read the letter and started developing feelings for him.
"Eh!why did you do that!"Bolaji screamed after we told him what we did. He had that confused look on his face that always makes me laugh.
"well,see,"Harrison,our accomplice started. At that moment I had absolutely nothing to say to Bolaji because,Harrison was speaking from experience and I had none,so I just watched.
"We have already done it. Just man up jhor. Approach her. Tell her you wrote it and you feel that way for her.Then ask her out,"
"What if she does not accept?"Bolaji said,looking devastated.
"Baba,you will only know when you try,"Harrison said as he walked away,leaving me with nothing to say to Bolaji.
"Don't worry,you can do it,"I muttered with a broad smile.
Two weeks passed,Bolaji did nothing concerning the letter.Harrison decided to put an end to his misery by telling Bola that Bolaji loves her In Bolaji's presence,making everything awkward.Then he left with the silly excuse that he had to go meet the V.P. I watched from a distance. I can remember vividly how Bolaji was sweating profusely. I didn't get to hear what they said to each other.Since then,they became two little love birds, smiling sheepishly at each other every time their eyes clashed. It was fun though,at least one of us had to be a man.The love story soon came to a halt a week after Bola had to travel to Brooklyn with her family. Since then,Bolaji has never attempted dating. He always use the excuse that he has a girlfriend in Brooklyn and that he would wait for her, but deep down he knows she probably may have forgotten there was ever a boy known as Bolaji from St.Peters High.
"Ha!you are just jealous because I've dated someone and you've not,"Bolaji's voice echoes in the near empty class room.
"well,I don't have time for this.I have an appointment to catch up on,"I say,rushing to the door.
"Hey!wait for me na.I was just kidding!"
* * *
"What's wrong with you?what happened earlier in my class wasn't funny at all and where the hell is Ade!?"
Mr.Rotimi's croaky voice echoing in my head. Ade hasn't shown up yet and if he doesn't come,he'll surely get it from Mr.Rotimi.Maybe he is busy with his gang or girls.Whatever,what's my own.It would even be better for me if he doesn't show up at all.
"Good afternoon sir,"Ade greets as he approaches Mr.Rotimi's table from behind.
The atmosphere suddenly feels contaminated now.
"Well,good afternoon. Both of you have your sit,"Mr.Rotimi says, gesticulating to the chairs in front of the table.its not what you would call an office,Its just a rather large space in the staffroom given to him by the V.P. There is the master's chair,a big table,two chairs in front and a flower vase he puts on top of the table. Rumour has it that he is the next in line to becoming our next V.P. So nowadays,he is always on his best behaviour. It would be unbearable for me to have to listen to his croaky voice every morning giving stupid announcements and speeches on the assembly ground.
"Thank you sir.I'd prefer standing,"I say,looking outside the window.
"Really?okay. How about you,Ade?Would you rather stand or sit?"His four eyes fixed on Ade.
"I'm okay like this sir,"Ade says,looking at me with contempt.Knowing my decision compels him to stand with me gives me inner joy. These days,Ade has been following the rules,which is quite strange. It seems he plans on becoming the next Labour prefect so he can discipline and brutalize students like his tyrant brother.
"Okay,as I was saying before you came. You guys can be friends rather than enemies. Do you know what you'll both achieve if you were friends..."
Mr.Rotimi is who you'd call a talk-active. All he needs is an audience. He can talk to a statue for hours. As long as he thinks its Listening to every word he is saying. He counsels us on the assembly ground every Thursday. That's why we have a counsellor in the school for Christ's sake!We don't need two counsellors in St.Peters High.
Its been seven minutes now and he hasn't stopped talking. This is really frustrating. I turn to look at Ade.It seems he is enjoying every word our un-appointed Asst.Counsellor,Rotimi is saying.
"You guys should try to get along.At least give it a shot and let that be the very last time you pull such stunt in my class.You can go."
Freedom!freedom!freedom!Without wasting as much as a second, I dash to the field. I wave to Bolaji who seems to be heading back to class with some of our friends. I signal them to go ahead. I will join them later. For now,I have matters of the stomach to attend to.
"Madam,give me one gala and one bigi apple,"I say,handing the money to Madam Bisi,the school's snack seller.
"Don't worry,I'll pay for it."The one too familiar bass voice sounding from behind me.Ade!what have I done to deserve this!?First,The class room. second,Mr.Rotimi's and now,the cafeteria?
"I am capable enough to pay my bills,"I say without looking back.
"you know,you should reconsider. Beggars are not choosers!"Ade chuckles.
The noisy cafeteria suddenly becomes quiet. Everyone is watching,Waiting for my response.
"You know."Now turning to face Ade,I turn my head downwards to face him,making it obvious I'm way taller than he is.
"You are nothing but a clown. All you do is to go about playing Stupid pranks and making dry jokes."I pause,allowing what I said to sink. The smirk on Ade's face now turning into a frown.
I continue,
"For example,You were so funny nobody laughed at the joke I'm sure you used 50% of your brain to think of. Your gang here,"I say gesticulating shabbily to the boys behind him.
"didn't even find what you said funny. That's if they understood what you said."I can hear little giggles.
"You know Bullying is prohibited in this school and you've been given a yellow card. Any other disturbance from you,and the V.P will do us all a favour by expelling you."Most of the students now chuckling and murmuring to each other. I'm so proud of myself right now.
"You know what!fuck this!"Ade curses as he rolls up his sleeves. My heart beat increases. I've always had a sharp mouth. I think that's the one thing I took from Mama,but I've always hated fighting. Oh God!Who will save me from this maniac.
"Hey!If you dare lay a finger on him."Sen. Cynthia,the Social prefect comes to my rescue. Wow,Cynthia is the last person I expected to help. She is a drop-dead beauty queen in ss3,Fair in complexion,Has a full lips,with those eyes that can make a man blush. She is a distant relative to Amanda. I still don't know how they are related. As long as I can recall,Cynthia and Amanda have never been close. There have always been this enmity between them. She was Dave's last girlfriend before he graduated. Maybe that was what prompted her to come to my rescue.
"Sen.Cynthia,Did you hear what this fool said?He insulted me in front of my juniors,"Ade tries to defend himself.
"You started it first,didn't you?It is normal for him to defend himself,"Cynthia says,looking at Ade straight in the eye. Her eyes are so beautiful. Now, I know why Dave,the unrepentant player was so in love with her.
"Tim,go to your class."
Immediately,I take my drink and gala from Madam Bisi and I disappear. Luck must be on my side today. I would have been embarrassed in front of everyone if not for Sen.Cynthia's interference. I will thank her personally after school hours.
Wait a minute,she called me Tim.
As far as I know,no one has ever called me that.
"Hey guy,you be bad guy o,"Harrison says in pidgen. Most of the students have now returned to the class. The class is very noisy now. Harrison,Bolaji and some of our friends are already sitted. They are all looking at me,expecting me to reply him so they can blast me with questions.
"Talk na. What did Mr.Rotimi Say?"Bolaji says acquisitively.
"He only advised us. I wasn't even listening,"I go to my sit. I open my drink and I take a gulp.
"How would you have listened. When all you think of is Amanda!"Harrison says rather loudly,causing me to almost spill the drink in my mouth. They all burst into laughter with Bolaji's loud mocking laughter over-shadowing theirs. Sometimes I just feel like punching the hell out of him. The whole class must have heard what he said. Well,I don't care. As far as Amanda did not hear it.
"Hey Amanda!how far na?"Harrison waves as he goes to meet Amanda who must have been standing at the door all along. She must have heard what Harrison said. Oh my Goodness!Realising that,I duck my head and place my hands on my table. I'm sure she must be looking at me. I take another gulp from my drink,but this time a bigger one. Bolaji's loud mocking laughter roaring again.
He takes out his handkerchief,wipes his eyes,looks at me and then continues laughing. My palms are now sweaty .Harrison should have prepared me before pulling such stunts. I would have known how to react to this. Act mature!Don't be a chicken!The voice rings in my head.
The bell rings at exactly 09:30AM. Its almost time for Mathematics, my least favourite subject. The noise stops as Mr.Rotimi, our Mathematics teacher enters the class. Typical Mr.Rotimi, with his oblong face and fat cheeks, his pot belly and K legs. He also has uniquely cut tribal marks on both cheeks. To him, Mathematics is a general subject, so every student is expected to know maths. Due to his method of flogging anyone who fails his questions,classwork or an assignment,most of the students know maths to a considerable extent."Good morning,Mr.Rotimi."The class echoes with a standing ovation as usual."Yes. Good morning class. You can have your sit,"Mr.Rotimi says as he goes to the board. He writes five equations. He turns back,looks at all of us one after the other and smiles."Hey,you there!stand up! Come and solve number 2."He points at Ade,one of the most notorious boys in the school. Ade doesn't care about anything that concerns learning. He was suspended l
"Timmy, Timmy!" The faint slightly deep feminine voice rings in my head. Still lying in bed not realising I'm late for school."Timmy!are you deaf!"The same roaring voice calls my name. The thump,thump of her feet gets closer and closer. Recognising my Mother's voice,I try to yank myself up,but the ear-deafening slap lands on my bare-back."Timothy!do you know what the time is?it's 7:30 and you are still sleeping!"Mama,a middle-aged woman,about 5.6 feet tall,she is fair in complexion and has the body size of an athlete. Seeing her you'll hardly believe she is a mother of three;myself,Dave, my elder brother and Cindy,my younger sister.Reluctantly,I stand, mumbling and grumbling like a kid. Mama retreats like a victorious warrior.She goes to the kitchen. Slowly recalling the painful memory of the Labour prefect's lashes on my palm. It was as if inflicting pain on me was a source of happiness to him,with every lash a grin of satisfaction on his face. I