Ch. 27

Tormented with unfulfilled lust, she snaked under me at the moment, with no prospect of redemption, without the possibility of finally catapulting herself into the wave of liberation. I watched her actions a little, noticing how she tried to free herself from the grip I was holding her in to push herself that last step forward. Slowly I slid my head a little lower again and was now almost at eye level with her already very moist shimmering pleasure grotto. My breath revealed where I was staying at the moment, which made her even madder, twitching again and again and breathing faster and faster, she was at my mercy.

She reared up, uttered a shriek, despite her pressed lips, and began to tremble like an aspen leaf, so that I was even afraid that she might fall from the bed. I hugged her quickly and could feel the waves of orgasm which she was violently pervading through the trembling transmitted to me. She whimpered a little because of the intensity with which this climax had overwhelmed her and lay trembling in my arm. "You don't have them all anymore," she said to me and tried to sound reproachful, which went a little wrong because of her still breathlessness. I pressed a kiss on her forehead and then said "I have you and that's all I need". She smiled and huddled very close to me.

We stayed like this for a while and enjoyed feeling the presence of the other before they settled down with the sentence "I'll sunbathe a little now." loosened from me and her headboard folded up a little so that she could lie a little more comfortably. I gave her another kiss and went to the grill to clean it up a little for our later lunch. I took the grate down and leaned it directly against the rack and began carefully to scoop out the old ashes. When I was done, I turned to her and watched her slumber a little when a feeling of happiness and a cozy warmth came over me. I don't know what exactly it was and why I was feeling these feelings right now. But I was sure I was well on my way to falling head over heels in love with her.

This thought was pleasant, but at the same time uncomfortable, because when you love someone you automatically open yourself to him or her and put yourself in a position in which you become more and more vulnerable. Many find this situation refreshing, walking around practically every day with a sword of Damocles hanging over them, but I wasn't one of those people. I wanted consistency and most of all I wanted it. She was the first woman I was primarily attracted to because of her intelligence and only then was the physical, so to speak, still available as a bonus.

Only now did the thought occur to me that she was basically taking the same step as me, opening up to me, was ready to let me into her life and thus also exposed herself to the risk of being hurt by me. The significance of what is actually burdening a relationship often only becomes clear to you when you are confronted with it. Why should you think about it beforehand? But that's exactly what most of them are overwhelmed with because they think a relationship consists in satisfying the other sexually whenever possible. Therefore, many of these relationships fail because one is not aware that it is not only about the physical, but also the psychological. It's all about a question that you have to answer every day, What do I do with my partner when I'm not in bed with her? What am i talking about And above all, when is it better to just be quiet and just listen. I never had these problems with Steffi and never faced the problem of being practically speechless.

Hours of political discussions, conversations about gods and the different beliefs and believers behind them, all the different and multi-layered cultures, special cities and regions, so many topics that we have already discussed together, not always of the same opinion, but each of them representing his point of view without restricting the other's opinion. It's not always easy, I admit, but what if we have someone across the street who just always says yes to everything? Or who has no opinion on a topic that you are broaching? For me it would be unthinkable to let myself into such a woman. That's why I've always felt drawn to Steffi, no matter what topic we were talking about,

I had meanwhile cleaned the grill and at the moment I just stood there and watched her as she slumbered peacefully. This sight alone simply took my breath away again. Her skin shimmering in the sunlight, this almost perfect body. Slowly and carefully I went to the second lounger that we had set up earlier and sit down without taking my eyes off of a moment. Her body was covered in many places with tiny beads of sweat that reflected the sunlight. One of these pearls just came off her forehead and started a hike over her temple on the cheek facing me down to her chin where she paused a little below. Her breath was shallow now and her chest rose and fell steadily. Clocked like a Swiss clock. How I would love to touch her now, just stroke her body, pamper, caress and melt into a whole with her. I was sure this woman is driving me crazy, driving me to the point of madness and certainly way beyond it.