Disbelief

She rubbed Idefix as dry as possible and took off her shoes, socks and jacket, sat down with her aunt on the couch and let herself be showered with the same evening program. Inevitably, her mind kept drifting back to Samuel. Didn't he say it wouldn't be long? A glance at her cell phone told her it had been almost four hours since he left. Had something happened to him? But what should happen to him? After all, he wasn't even really alive; if everything he'd told her so far was true.

A little later, she said goodnight to Denise and crumbled into her room with Ide in tow. As soon as she had entered the room, an icy breeze made her shiver and her breathing became visible. Idefix tensed and growled menacingly as a shadow moved in the farthest corner. Although she couldn't be 100 percent sure it was just Samuel, she surely pushed Idefix out of the room with her leg and closed the door in front of his nose. Because if he continued to growl, Denise would become suspicious. And explaining to her aunt who Samuel was wasn't very high on her to-do list right now.

"Samuel?", She whispered questioningly into the darkness and rubbed her palms together.

The shadow started moving and stepped towards her. Amelie flipped the light switch and Samuel's silhouette appeared in front of her. He narrowed his golden brown eyes for a moment to get used to the overhead light.

"What are you doing in my room? Did Denise see you? "

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"I'm cold," announced Amelie, crawling upright into her bed and wrapping herself in her blanket.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you that? Are you going to make it cold? "

Samuel nodded.

He was death personified, it crossed her mind. So it's no wonder that he didn't exactly immerse his surroundings in an inviting warmth.

"Where have you been for so long? You said it wouldn't take long Our conversation is not over yet. I still have a lot of questions. "

“I was held up again and again. Sometimes there is a real chain reaction. Then it just takes time. "

Amelie looked at him aghast. So now and then he also did assembly line work. It just got better and better.

She wriggled a hand out of her blanket cocoon and pointed to the foot of her bed.

"Take a seat."

Samuel seemed to think for a moment, but then complied with her request. 

"How many have died in the last few hours?" She asked, startled.

"I didn't count."

“I have no real idea of the magnitude we are talking about. Is it one an hour? Two? Three?"

“It always varies and depends on the size of the area of responsibility. Some days I rush from one to the other and still I don't catch them all in time. On other days I don't have much to do and can do a little prophylaxis. "

"Prophylaxis?"

"I play around with the life energies of my wobbly candidates so that they don't all die at the same time."

Amelie was shocked at the indifference in his voice.

“You say that as if you don't really care. As if they weren't real people we're talking about here. Don't you have any sympathy? ”She chided him.

Samuel was silent for a long moment and focused on her face.

"Compassion is inappropriate in my position."

Amelie let out her breath, audibly indignant.

"I think you're making it pretty easy for yourself."

He indicated a shrug. Apparently he didn't share her opinion. Before she maneuvered the conversation with accusations and blame into a corner from which they could no longer get out, she decided to ask more general questions again.

"Fine. And how big is your area of responsibility? "

Samuel thought for a moment.

"At the moment there are one and a half million souls, I guess."

"So many!?"

"Sometimes more sometimes less. That changes again and again, depending on how many angels of death there are in the world. "

"Hm. And how many are there at the moment? "

"I dont know."

"Why not? Somebody will have an overview of it. Don't you even meet for team meetings, or something? "

Amelie imagined a huge conference room filled with angels of death and a speaker on the podium.

"I think you have the wrong idea about how an angel of death lives and works, Amelie," he said, a little depressed, with the beginning of a sad smile on his face.

"I am listening."

“As I mentioned before, it is not a privilege to work as an angel of death, but a punishment. In addition to the sinister task of freeing the souls from the dying bodies and transferring them to the other side, we are condemned to eternal loneliness. There are no friendships or team meetings, as you just put it so nicely. For the simple reason that we cannot perceive each other. Just as we cannot be seen by the living, any more than we can be seen by other angels. And even if it did, that wouldn't be of much use, since we can only stay within our own areas of responsibility. " 

"But why? What is that supposed to achieve? That is unworthy of life. "

"We should concentrate fully on our task and not devote ourselves to talking to like-minded people." 

That made perfect sense, but Amelie found this rule to be grossly exaggerated. She remembered how astonished he had looked at her when she spoke to him at the church. How did it feel to wander around invisible and all alone and never be able to get in touch with anyone? A sincere, pitying feeling filled her.

“How long have you been living like this? As an angel of death, I mean? "

It was another moment before he answered.

“A couple of years, I suppose. I no longer have a sense of time. "

"How do you stand it?"

Again he indicated a shrug and said nothing more. Now it also dawned on her why he had visited her again and again. He was completely alone and had been for several years. Disregarded and unseen. It was his only opportunity to communicate appropriately. The only question was why?

“But you still haven't explained one thing to me: You said that you are invisible to all living, but that I am neither dead nor will I soon die. But still I can obviously see you. How come What's wrong with me? "

His golden brown eyes slid over her face.

"Nothing. You are just ... something special. "

Amelie stopped short. Was that supposed to be a compliment, or just an unfortunate attempt to tell her she was crazy? After all, people with whom something was not quite right were mostly referred to as special ; to put it politely.

"Aha. Can you maybe define that a little more precisely? There must be a reason why I'm so different from everyone else. "

"Your soul is pure."

"Thank you," she replied unimpressed, not knowing what else to say. After all, you didn't hear something like that every day.

“But you don't just have some pure soul. I suppose it's the one from prophecy. "

"Okay, now you're kidding me."

Samuel looked at her blankly as usual. Maybe a little puzzled, but just maybe.

"Prophecy? Honestly. You just made that up. "

He shook his head dead serious, as if in slow motion.

“And what does this prophecy mean? Am I the new messiah? Savior of humanity and redeemer of all poor souls? "

“I have already told you that all good souls get the chance to continue living as guardian angels after their human existence. According to centuries-old tradition, every few decades a human child is born with the purest of souls; also called the soul of light . If the human body dies, this soul of light is not given the choice of finding peace or becoming a guardian angel. This soul rises directly into the light and replaces one of the ten archangels. "

Silence fell over the room while Amelie and Samuel looked at each other. Samuel waited and Amelie in disbelief.