Chapter 14:A Painful Confession 2

Leslie's P.O.V

Okay!

This whole conversation is making me go hot and cold.

Keeping my attraction to Damien to myself felt wrong. Maybe admitting it probably wasn't a good idea either, but he knew I was holding something to myself. If I could get it out of my system now before it escalates into something more, then maybe my job was not in jeopardy then.

I could deal with it and move on. Part of that involved telling him how I really feel. I wasn't entirely comfortable with that, but at least if I did it now, I could carefully choose my words right.

Okay, so mind made up after the whole scene back at the office I don't really think keeping all this desire and attraction bottled up is a bright idea after all .

I was going to do it. I was determined. I would tell him tonight, here at dinner, that I was attracted to him and have a girly little crush on him, but it wasn't going to get in the way of my job or affect how I was able to do it. 

Right?

I mean would it?

Bloody hell!

I'm going to do it even if it means losing my job I was going to be an adult concerning this situation.

He had to know that my crush was why the fridge incident had bothered me. 

I took a deep breath and finished my wine. We'd been long done with our food, and the clock was creeping close to Nine Between dessert and talking about anything and everything, from school to family to TV shows, time has quickly passed. 

It definitely made it harder to actually tell him that I felt this way. I know him on a personal level now. I know that he graduated from Harvard University with a degree in business and he had been an intern for his dad's colleague who works in Singapore. And before he became the CEO of his company he started from the scratch instead of just Waltzing in to claim the position. Which shows his humility and determination.

Started from the bottom and rised 

I now know he loves Game of Thrones which by the way is a hell of a movie series, and other movies like fifty shades of grey"Although when he told me he watched that I blushed furiously because the scenes Damn!

Fast and furious skyscraper and 365 days.

Although am a bit surprised he has the time to watch movies though, he doesn't really look the type.

All this new personal information about him just makes a girl like me sigh.....

He's so fustratingly down to earth, I can't even bring myself to hate him a little so as to numb my secret crush.

Definitely heard my inner teenage girl sigh.

Overall He's still my boss. I feel like he's my friend now, to an extent, and that's clearly the professional relationship he wants us to have. That has been clear from the start. Sharing lunch, eating breakfast with me-he always tries to forge a friendship, and I'm quite happy about that. 

But naughty me still indulge myself that those small gestures might mean something.

Damien is such a bright, warm person that it's so easy to be comfortable around him. More than anything, I want to work for him. And to do that, I have to be honest with him about how I feel.

I owe him that.

That was the adult thing to do.

Clearly, my little miss Prim act hadn't fooled him at all. 

I sipped my wine and rested my hands on the table. "Can I tell you something?"

Damien looks up from the bill, curiosity shining in his blue eyes. "Sure. What's up?"

"Uh..." I paused, fidgeting with the edge of the napkin in front of me. "What I said earlier wasn't entirely true."

"Are you telling me you don't actually like Michele Morrone? Because it's either him or the guy that played Christian grey.

I laughed, somewhat nervously. "Oh no, you can pry my love of Michele from my cold, dead, hands.

He's like my very sexy fantasy movie star Crush."I say laughing softly.

I just-earlier, when we talked about the fridge incident."I then say nervously.

He slipped his credit card into his wallet that held the bill. "What about it?"

"I was so embarrassed because ...

C'Mon"He probs gently 

I have a crush on you."I say as quietly as possible.

Say what?"I heard him say

I have a huge crush on you Damien"I say out loud, maybe a little too loud because I could feel eyes on our table.

Typical of me to bash it all"I sigh out.

He froze right at the same time I did. I hadn't meant to just...vomit it out like that. 

I swallowed hard and met his eyes. "I am extremely attracted to you okay?" I continued. "So seeing you in the kitchen like that was really embarrassing and sexy for me at the same time. I can't get out that very picture of you in just a tiny piece of towel it just reiterated the awkward way I feel about you, and I would really like if we could never speak of this. Ever. Never."

I could feel embarrassment and humiliation sing my name.

Regret pulsed through me. 

Why had I said it? Why hadn't I just let it go? 

"Well, that explains the overly weird acts today. By the way, it definitely freaked me the fuck out." He looked at me. "Don't do that again."

My lips twitched.

The server came and took the leather wallet, much to my relief.

"Was that the thing you wouldn't tell me earlier?"

I nodded. "I didn't think it was appropriate."

"What changed your mind?" He looked at me thoughtfully. There was no judgment in his eyes, just genuine, gentle curiosity. 

"Maybe I wanted a clean slate? I don't know." I twirled the wine glass between my fingers. "You said we'd have to revisit it, so I thought I'd get it over with now. Besides, I want to be honest with you." I let go of the glass and sat forward, then quickly sat Back.

"It's not going to affect anything I promise," I said quickly. "It's just what I said it's just an attraction. It'll pass. It won't affect my ability to do my job."

"Hmm." He accepted the wallet back from the server and thanked them. "Are you ready to go?"

Hearing him say he was ready to leave was like a blow on the guy.

I hadn't expected him to say he felt the same as I did, but the way he'd brushed it off still bugged me a little. I wasn't hurt, per se, but I was annoyed. He hadn't even acknowledged it.

"Yeah," I said. "Let's go."I say trying to maintain a professional composure. 

I gathered my purse and stood on my feet and double checked that I had everything in there. so I stood, pushing my own chair back in. 

Should I be annoyed?

No I shouldn't!

Does he owe me an explanation?

Nah he doesn't!

But why do I feel so down inside.

Am I Feeling down?

Questions and anxiety Begins to look all over me. As all my inner thoughts comes out to play.

I was feeling too slighted by his outright dismissal of my feelings to care if he wanted to be a gentleman. And damn it, I'd open my own fucking car door, too.

I walked out of the restaurant ahead of him definitely now pissed off not speaking or saying a word. He was my boss, sure, but right now, that wasn't the positions we held.

Thanking the hostess before I left, I beelined for his car in the parking lot. I wasn't entirely sure which one it was, so I was more than a little thankful when he unlocked it and the flashing lights confirmed I was correct. 

I got in the passenger side, with Damien following me on the driver's side only seconds later. He hadn't even tried to get my door, so apparently he was smarter than I gave him credit for. 

I didn't say a word as we drove. Neither did he. The silence was tight and uncomfortable, and I made sure I never made eye contact with him throughout the whole thing.

I was utterly humiliated. 

Completely!

It was just one more thing to add to my list to mistakes, and I was sure that tomorrow, I'd get to add my job to it, too.

What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I be a functioning fucking adult? Of all the men in the world, I had to feel this way about my boss. 

My fucking damn boss. 

Anger bubbled inside me. I could feel it, twisting and turning as it flooded my body with heat. The last thing I wanted was for my cheeks to flush in case Damien thought it was about it, but it was inevitable. 

I wasn't a pretty angry person.

The difference here was that I had to keep my temper in check if I wanted any chance of keeping my job. I knew he'd probably fire me tomorrow, but it is what it is.

I couldn't control it. I couldn't change it. I could only accept it.

Which was what I did as Damien pulled up I'm front of my house.

Oh I forgot!

It's his house!

Without giving him a chance to speak, I unbuckled my belt and threw out a quick, "Thank you for dinner," as I shoved my way out of the car. 

I wanted to wrestle my way inside. I wanted to lock the door and run to my room, locking that door, too. Then I wanted to kick off my shoes, dump my purse, and throw myself onto my bed to cry.

Not because I was sad or heartbroken or anything. Crying was the ultimate stress relief, and I was faced with a situation I'd been in so many times before: being fired.

All I wanted was to work for a few months to get enough money and make something out of myself and get my life under control. I wanted to find love and keep it and not set anything on fire or cause any natural disasters in the process. 

So I did just what I wanted to.

I went inside, bypassed the security without greating or saying a word like I normally do. Rushed into the elevator to take me to my part of the penthouse.

Stepping in to the only shelter I have now. I took off my shoes, threw my bag falling into my bed screamed into my pillow for being such a fool.

Then the tears came.

And you know what?

I felt damn good doing it.

***

With my humiliation all burnt out now branded on my face. The next morning, I dressed to kill. If I were to be fired today I might as well look good being fired.

I wore my best dress which happened to be a short blue dress that gave me confidence once in a while. Paired with the heels I'd worn at the weekend, thankfully I made sure to wash my hair so I curled them and made it fall in a soft slicky way. I slicked my signature lipstick onto my lips.

Then, I looked into the mirror, nodded, and prepared to take on the world just as I'd intended.

The world wasn't really the subject, but a hot guy was most definitely just as tricky.

I arrived at work early so I could get myself sorted. A glance at the schedule on the computer told me I had an hour until Damien arrived at the office, and I was going to use them to be the most efficient fucking assistant his ass had ever seen.

Starting with his desk.

kicking off my shoes, Damn I hate heels. I grabbed a trash bag, and went into his office. The information was all so outdated, and his drawers were full of crap, so I busied myself sorting out everything in the room until I was satisfied it was up to the current year's standard.

I'd probably still missed something, but I'd been successful all the same. 

I tied up the trash bag and left it in the corner of the kitchen before I headed back to my desk. I slipped my heels back on and got back to work. 

I was already dreading when he got to the office. There was no way we could carry on like usual, and all I could hope for was that I didn't get fired. 

I do have big dreams.

But now all that is plusing in me right now is the nerve of anxiety,a bad one at that.

Or should I say Paranoia

Then I heard his normal foot tap.

It didn't stop until Damien's familiar footsteps sounded on the stairs. Then, I froze, turning my body toward the computer and making sure not to look in his direction. 

He didn't speak to me either, instead bypassing me entirely until he was in his office. The click of his door was loud and final and instilled an odd sense of hope into me.

Maybe I might survive this ordeal unscathed.

Unless he was going to delay the inevitable, of course.

I'm definitely winging it. I have no idea how he'd take my cleaning of his office combined with the admission that I wanted to climb him like a tree.

Like I said.

Winging it.

Positive vibes Leslie.

I definitely need positive vibes instead of more disasters.

Damien's door opened again, and when I looked, he'd poked his head around it.

"Leslie? Can you come in here?"

No."I voice screamed in my head.

"Sure," was what I actually said as I stood and swiped my hands down my butt and over the backs of my thighs. My heels clicked against the floor as I carefully walked into his office.

He glanced at me as he pushed the door to, leaving it ajar, and sat down in his chair.

I went into his office closing the door.

The chair I sat in was comfortable.

I was definitely not. 

I swallowed as he loosened his tie and undid the top button of his shirt, then sat back in his chair with a sigh.

"It's okay," I said quickly. "I know you're going to fire me."I rushed out quickly.

It's best to just say these things, rip it out like a bandaid"I say trying to sound cherry.

Damien's eyebrows shot upward. "Fire you?"

"Yeah. It's awkward, isn't it? We can't work like this." I shrugged one shoulder, even as sadness slithered through me. "It's fine. I understand. No hard feelings."

I got up and walked to the door. There was a squeak, and his hand grabbed my arm before I could leave.

"That sounded a lot more like a resignation than it did me firing you," he said in a low voice.

I shrugged again. "Whatever. I know what you're going to do."

"Do you?"

I tugged my arm out of his hand. "We've known each other for what like two weeks? Or let's say three . My attraction to you makes my position untenable and this entire situation completely awkward. Of course you're going to fire me."

It's only natural"I say timidly.

"I probably should." He spoke slowly, his gaze steady as it held mine. "It'd be easier if I did."

"See? There you go. It-"

"I wouldn't have to feel guilty about the fact I'm attracted to you too. I wouldn't have to worry about what would happen if a relationship didn't work out. I wouldn't have to worry about anything other than dating you."

I tried to say something but...nothing.

Nothing came out.

Nada.

Not a damn thing.

Leslie Ruffle has officially no comebacks whatsoever!

My mouth went so dry that swallowing was a struggle, and I still couldn't talk.

Damien sighed, lips curving up after. "Did you think it was one-sided, Leslie? The only reason I didn't say anything last night was that I wasn't sure if I should. I decided this morning that, like you, I had to be honest, so here I am." He held his hands out and shrugged. "I'm attracted to you. I think you're adorable and beautiful and funny, and if you'd like to resign so I can woo you without the complication of being your boss, I can't say I'd be sad to see you go."

I folded my arms across my chest at that. "Really? You'd have me quit just so you can date me easily?"

"No, I'd fire you, but I'm not doing that. I'm letting you resign so you could date me."

"I'm not going to resign."

"I'm not going to fire you.Then what the hell do we do now?"

"You can do whatever you like, but for now am going to kiss you."

He took one step toward me and pulled me to him, then touched his lips to mine like a starving man. He swept one hand around the back of my head, and I melted against his body, curling my fingers into his jacket. 

Heat, desire, tingled from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. 

Something inside me told me this was wrong, that I had to stop it, but whatever that stupid little voice was had been overridden by the rest of my body. The rest of me was enjoying the fact that his lips were on mine and his hands were slowly pulling my body right against his.

And I was letting him.

His kiss was like magic running through my veins, and I wanted nothing more than to be under this spell until someone physically pulled me from it. All the frustration I'd felt last night, all the anger I'd harbored since I'd admitted how I felt washed away from me in one fell swoop.

I just wanted to live this-this kiss. Wanted to enjoy the moment of this, just in case I never felt it again. 

Slowly, he pulled back, never releasing his grip on me. "I half-expected you to slap me."

"I considered it after last night," I said in a low voice. "And I still might."

"I can take that." His lips brushed mine as he spoke. "Now what?"

"What do you mean, now what? You're the one who kissed me. You decide."

His fingers tightened their grip on me. "No. If I decide, we're both bunking off work today, because I'd like to toss you onto my bed and see if you slap me then."

I blushed. "Depends how hard you throw me."

Oy, look at me flirting! Ay-yai-yai!

He pressed his mouth against my forehead and silently laughed. 

So you're not firing me then?"I ask teasingly

Nah, how could I"He says 

But what about the contract I signed about "No dating any work colleagues"I ask after almost swooning with just one kiss form him, as the consequences of our actions slams right through me a part of me whispers these might bring unforseeable disasters

Don't worry, am the Owner after all"He says sexily, stealing one more kiss.

Yeah the owner"I say teasingly all my worries fading away as I revel in his kisses. The thought of being caught kissing him in the office just made me go hotter.

Maybe "Hurricane Leslie" isn't bad after all.

I'd expected to get fired. Instead, I'd gotten kissed.

How delicious!