~11~ Conceal your worth

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER IS SENSITIVE

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"WAOW" I said as soon as we arrived at Dili's house. The sight was pretty much mind blowing.

"Is it that impressive?" Dili asked nervously scratching the back of his head.

"Is that even a valid question?" I looked at him with disbelief "I mean look at this house" I said in complete awe.

"Thanks I guess" Was his response with a genuine smile. Now let me just break it down for you, My house was a pretty big ass mansion there is no denying that but Dili's house? Well Dili's house was even bigger and I'm not even exaggerating it was bigger than any other mansion I have ever laid my eyes on. It brings me to wonder, Just how rich were Dili's parent's?

"So are you just going to stand there or are you going to come in" Dili said already at the entrance door, a teasing smile was playing on his lips.

When the school's golden boy first told me that he was taking me for training I actually thought he was just messing with me so I just decided to get inside the car and go to wherever he was planing on taking me. okay I'll admit that wasn't really a bright idea at the time, I mean he could have been taking me to a place to kill me or something but I trusted Dili for some reason and immediately cancelled that thought from my mind.

I began to walk to the were Dili was standing.

"You said you were taking me for training, not your house" I stated as I finally got to him.

A smirk automatically adorned his face "I didn't say were the training would be now did I?" I gave him a look as a response.

He's house door's security was exactly like mine so he quickly punched in a code and he opened the door for us to enter.

"Waow" I mumbled as my gaze landed on the interior decor of the house. It was the perfect blend of homey and exquisite, it was truly a work of art.

"You're house is beautiful Dili" I voiced out my thoughts.

"It is, only if it was also beautiful on the inside" He mumbled in what sounded like a sad tone. I looked at him confused, but it was the inside of the house I was taking about. For some reason I felt like what he said had a much deeper meaning to it.

I didn't want to pry so I didn't comment on it.

"So where exactly are we doing the training?" I strained out the 'training' because I didn't still believe that he actually brought me to his house to train. He was obviously joking, Right?

"Oh you'll see" His gloomy mood from before immediately vanquished and his infamous smirk replaced it.

As we continued walking through the house we finally reached a door after let's say more or less 3minutes. The door was a glass door but it was tainted black so I couldn't see a thing inside.

"Where are we?" I asked skeptically.

To answer my question, Dili stretched his hand to open the door and said "My personal Jim" and then he swiftly opened the door.

"Waow!" I exclaimed for the third time but time it was quite loud.

"Again Rica, Really?" Dili chuckled, his dimples that I have secretly come to love popped out in the process.

"What? you can't expect me not to do that when you show me something as cool as this" I pointed out. I mean anyone that saw this Jim would definitely react the same. The Jim probably had everything a Jim ought to have. Different state of the art machines lined out everywhere, a large mirror was placed at one side of the wall, making that particular side of the Jim look somewhat like a dance studio.

"So you'll telling me you have all these to yourself?" I tried to confirm again. Because the Jim was just too big for one person.

"Yup" he said popping the 'P'.

"Now go into the the Jim locker room you'll see varieties of working out clothes you can pick from. We don't have much time so please dress fast would you" I look at Dili confused.

"Working out clothes?"

"Uhm, yes. That's what people wear when they want to train" He raised a questioning eyebrow with a small smile.

"Yh obviously I get that but why do I have to change to work out clothes?" I asked still confused. My mind already broke down the situation to me but I seriously didn't want to accept it.

"Because we are training remember?" He gave me a funny look.

"Training for what exactly?" I asked in a dull tone.

"Well dear Finacee i'm going to be training you on how to fight" He smirked. I blushed when he referred to me as his fiancee, almost forgot about that.

"You can fight?" curiously I asked.

He released a frustrated sigh "You ask to much question. Can you just please for the love of God go get changed" He said pointing at a random direction were a hard wooden door was.

"Fine, fine I'm going. Jeez" I rolled my eyes playfully and immediately made my way to the door he pointed at. Entering the locker room which was suprisingly medium in size being that everything about this house was large, the first thing I saw was different hanged female work out clothes in different sizes and colors. Weird why does he have a bunch load of female clothes in his personal Jim locker room.

Ignoring my thoughts, I quickly picked out the work out clothes that were to my taste and changed. As soon as I came out Dili's eyes immediately landed on me. His face that were once cheery before immediately turned to a frown. I also noticed that he had also changed from his uniform to training clothes and boy did he looked fine in it!

Immensely confused I tried to ask him what the problem was but he cut me short instantly.

He heaved out a sigh and then asked "What are you wearing Rica?" He said it in such a soft tone that I almost melted there and then.

"Uhm work out clothes like you asked me to" I replied in a duh tone with somewhat of a cheeky smile. It was refreshing that I could be myself when I was with Dili, it didn't even occur to me on how close we had gotten until now sef.

Dili released yet another sigh and then made his way to me.

"I said work out clothes Rica not clothes for when the weather is cold" He too replied in a duh tone rolling his eyes. I looked down to see what I wearing. Ok so what I was wearing wasn't in anyway bad it was just a little bit bigger than I was and lemme not forget, longer. So yeah, I saw it as the perfect choice for me, what's so wrong with that?

"If they aren't work out clothes why were they in your locker room?" I tired to reason with a playful smirk.

"Abeg stop, Rica, I know what you're trying to do and it's sadly not working" Dili said with a serious look plastered on his face.

"Whatever do you mean?" still with a playful smile I asked, though nervousness was slowly creeping in.

"Seriously Rica I mean it stop!" I was taken aback by his tone.

"What?"

"Why?" was the only thing he said.

Confused I asked "Why what?"

"Why do you always do this to yourself?" the tone in which he spoke almost seemed like he was heartbroken about something.

"Do what?" I dared to ask, although I knew already within me I wouldn't like his response.

"Conceal your worth" was his answer. I knew where the direction our conversation was going, and I didn't want to go down that road but I knew I couldn't avoid it as Dili was a very persistent human being.

"Wh-a-t? I choked out

"For goodness sake can we not play this game where you pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Last night's dinner was more than enough Rica" I was lost for words as I didn't know what to say so he continued.

"Rica we both know you didn't wear that" he gestured to what I was wearing "Because you were cold or anything" My heart rate began to increase the more he talked, I could feel myself sweating and trust me it wasn't because of the big cardigan I was wearing or the hot weather.

"So tell me Rica, Why did you choose to wear that out of all the clothes in there because the weather right now is unbearably hot" Dili asked in a firm tone without wavering, he wasn't going to let this go anytime soon that much I know.

"I don't know what you're talking about Dili, can we just start the training already?" I tried to divert the question.

Dili's gaze turned to slit as he looked at me. He wasn't buying it.

"Rica" he said in a warning tone.

"Since it seems like you're not ready to train me I'm leaving" I turned away from him and began to walk away, I remembered that my school bag and uniform were still in the Jim locker but I couldn't have been bothered to care at the moment, my number one priority was to leave there as fast as I could.

"Rica!" Dili's voice called out from behind me, and for some reason it was getting closer. I didn't stop walking though.

"Rica!" He yelled out once again but this time around I did stop. I turned around.

"Fine! You want to know why I wore this!" I touched the cardigan as I spoke. My eyes began to glaze over informing me that tears were gathering in my eyes.

"It's because I'm disgusted with the sight of myself!" I was soo angry that I didn't know when I removed the cardigan and tossed it on the floor. Thank God i was wearing a crop singlet underneath it.

"Look at me!" I gestured to my myself "I'm overweight and ugly! And a past stupid hobby of mine was to cut myself when I was down or agitated! I wouldn't even call it a past hobby as I still have the urge to cut myself till date! So forgive me if I didn't want to exhibit my horrendous body to you Dili!" After yelling I took a big intake of air, I could feel my body shaking a little.

Everywhere was utterly silent for a while before Dili did something I wasn't expecting.

With a hard gaze he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the direction of the large mirror in the Jim. I didn't even have the strength to struggle so I allowed him to drag me along. I automatically closed my eyes as we reached the side of the Jim were the large mirror was. I didn't want to see....me.

"Open your eyes Rica" he said in a commanding tone.

I shook my head as a no, still with my eyes tightly shut.

"Rica" he warned.

I sighed but eventually opened my eyes.

Softly he spoke "Good. Now look at your reflection in the mirror"

"I am" I stubbornly muttered.

"No you're not, I said look at your reflection, not look through your reflection" I frowned a little confused about what he was trying to do. Releasing a sigh I did as he asked.

With the same soft tone he asked "Good, now tell me what you see"

"obviously me na" I said in a duh tone.

Completely ignoring what I said he spoke.

"Do you know what I see?" he answered his own question.

"I see a girl, a girl who hasn't been given the right amount of love in her life. A girl who is strong but she feels she's not, Who is easily the most insanely beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on but she says otherwise because she believes more in peoples words than in herself. Who is unhealthingly thin but gives herself to the idea that she's overweight. Who is broken but definitely not beyond repair" The more I listened to Dili's speech the more the tears I managed to hold back before rushed down like endless droplets of rain.

To be painfully honest I'll have to say that this was the first time in years that I have actually really looked at myself in the mirror. I always try not to stare at my reflection for too long because I have always hated the sight of my body from a young age. But now looking at myself in the mirror, like 'really' looking at myself in the mirror I've come to see that Dili's words were actually true I was the complete opposite of overweight I was extremely underweight.

The doctors and the nurses at the rehabilitation center did try to tell me this but I completely blocked them out because of mere words by other people. God I truly was pathetic.

"But I'm full of flaws" I muttered weakly with tears still running down my cheeks.

Dili first gave me a bright smile though I could spot a little sadness in his features.

"Who isn't? You're only human Rica, no one is above flaws"

I sniffed "Even you, the schools golden boy?" I joked trying to brighten the mood.

"Especially me" he responded with a teasing smile, although for some reason I felt that he was actually very serious about what he said but was just trying to cover it up.

With his arms wide open he wiggled his eyes playfully and said.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to come in for a huge, short girl" I laughed a little at the nickname, and went up to him and embraced him. And just like yesterday I cried on his shirt, but this time it wasn't tears of sadness but of happiness.