Thirty five

How do you not realize when someone close to you is keeping a secret? I think you notice but choose to stay quiet about it because you have secrets of your own that you'd rather no one found out about. My mom and I spent the rest of the Christmas holidays avoiding eye contacts and giving short replies to prying questions.

She spent most of her time at the church. We weren't the only ones avoiding eyes, Marcel was too. He left the house early and got back late only to stay holes up in his room. I wasn't any more social either but our busy parents never noticed or if they did, chose not to address it.

The thought of telling my mom what happened with Chris never crossed my mind and I was grateful that Marcel kept his mouth shut about it. The only other person I told about it was Abike, unknowingly ending her friendship with Marcel, she said it was his fault Chris was in the house at all.

           Eventually, mom caught on to the stiffness in the house. She spent the last week of the holidays drilling Marcel and I for reasons why we weren't speaking but got nothing out of it. I heard her tell Kunle about it but he brushed it off and assured her that it was just teenage drama, even as mom insisted that neither of us was dramatic.

Mrs. Dapo rode us back to school, mom and Kunle had another church commitment. Abike had already saved the front seat for Marcel and he climbed in, muttering a small greeting to Mrs. Dapo.

Abike watched me curiously and placed her hand over mine, I gave her a small smile before we fell into an unusual silence. My mind drifted off to the conversation my mom and I had before she left for church.

"I don't know what is going on with you kids. You insisted that Marcel didn't do anything wrong to you so I'm begging, please, try to sort out your differences in school. But if he hurt you in any way, don't hold back for any reason, tell me so I can take action. You are my greatest priority Amanda, I don't want anything to happen to you".

My eyes strayed to the side mirror and met with Marcel's for the first time in a week.

"Nothing happened". I had told her but that wasn't entirely true. Something did happen, I knew it and from the look in his eyes, so did Marcel.

"Why are you all so quiet?"

Mrs. Dapo asked, robbing us of our right to silence because if the woman speaks to you, you reply.

The rest of the short ride consisted of Abike trying to keep the conversation away from me.

           Abike climbed up the steps of the admin block while Marcel hung back to help get her large suitcase out of the booth. We were quiet until we got up to the search table and there he was.

"Amanda". He said with an ugly smirk.

"Let's go". Abike said but I stayed in place. I wanted to look at him, I wanted him to see me.

"How are you feeling now?"

Dead. I felt dead, he had cut off the last string that held me up.

"Marcel!" One of the boys hailed as Marcel ascended the stairs and left Abike's bag beside her.

"Hey man". He replied, proceeding to bump fists and shake hands.

I watched Chris watch him with unreadable eyes. Marcel shifted his weight from one foot to another before looking at his bestfriend.

"Hey man". He greeted and I felt myself deflate, then they bumped fists.

"Let's go". Abike repeated and this time, I obliged.

                     *                         *                        *

The first week after resumption was torture, the classes weren't serious but I still couldn't concentrate. The spotlight hadn't suddenly been thrown on me but in my friend group, I had become the horse with a horn because everyone wanted to know what was going on with me. Apparently, I was acting differently.

Evading my friends wasn't as tedious as avoiding my almost-rapist, I only then realized how much time we spent together in the same space. Not only was he in all my classes, we were Co-sports prefects. Not to mention the fact that he was my friend's boyfriend.

None of that hit as hard as seeing Marcel around him, he still wouldn't meet my eyes. On the first combo day, he had already changed seats before I got to class and for some reason, I felt betrayed.

     Abike wasn't managing her rage properly, she glared at Chris whenever he crossed her sight and acted like Marcel no longer existed. She couldn't keep this secret, she believed everyone deserved to know the sort of pig Christopher Lawal's was and I couldn't stop her because even as I knew Henrietta wouldn't believe it, I wanted her to know.

She told them a week later, Sunday night after lights out and began with a classic;

"There is something you girls need to know".

Vivian looked down from her bed at Bike to let her know she was listening while Henrietta who was seated on the floor just kept having her night snack.

Abike gave me one last inquiring look and I nodded to show my consent.

"During the holidays, someone tried to rape Mandy". She slowly said

"What?" Chocolate poured out of Hen's hanging mouth.

"Where?" Vivian asked in a guarded tone. Her eyes were trained on me but it was Abike who answered.

"At her house".

"Your house? Oh my God!" Hen clasped her hand over her mouth for a couple seconds. "Was it Marcel?"

"No. It was Chris". Again, Abike provided the answer.

Hen stared at our friend with hard eyes.

"What kind of rough play is that?"

"What makes you think she is playing?" Vivian was pissed, her voice was tight.

"Chris would never do something like that".

"I'm not playing Hen, Christopher Lawal tried to rape our friend".

Henrietta looked up to me.

"Amanda?" Her eyes pleaded with me but there wasn't another side to the truth.

"It was him". I crushed all her hopes and her eyes steeled.

Vivian was yelling, at me or Chris I wasn't sure.

My eyes stayed on Henrietta, she didn't move and kept her empty eyes on me too. I wanted her to say something but her silence spoke more to me than her words would have.

                                                    *

It was Thursday afternoon and our Economics teacher wasn't back from the market so we had the last 40mins of school hours to burn and the class was already half empty. My head was bent on my desk but I couldn't fall asleep with the noise my mates were creating, it baffled me how Rasheed could read despite it.

A loud yelp caused me and everyone else to jerk our heads towards the seat closest to the door. Chris stood beside it, holding his butt in a tight grasp.

"What the hell? Who put nail on my seat?" He yelled, showing our classmates a side of him that I was familiar with.

The blood was quickly seeping onto his hand and one of his friends led him out to the infirmary before the tears that was welled up in his eyes began to fall.

She wasn't in humanities class so I couldn't see her face but I didn't need to see her evil smirk to know she had done it and from the way Henrietta stormed into our room after lunch, neither did she.  She hadn't been at lunch which meant she had been at the infirmary with him.

"Vivian". Our sweet friend roared as she slammed the door behind her.

"Yes?" Vivian replied with a calm that further infuriated Henrietta. Abike got into a sitting position on her bed and from there, we watched our friends.

"Why did you put a nail on Chris' seat? "

"Tell me he didn't deserve it". Vivian looked about ready to face a jury.

"What sort of horrible human being are you?"

"Not nearly as horrible as your boyfriend".

"He can barely sit".

"You think Amanda would have been able to if he had gone on with what he planned?" She was out of the chair and up in Hen's face.

I could see people hovering at our window and while I appreciated her standing up for me, I didn't want the whole school knowing about it but Henrietta was already speaking before I could.

"We don't know if that was what he had in mind".

Abike was literally taken aback but she recovered quickly and took over from Vivian.

"He went into her room while she was asleep and sick, got on her bed even when she asked him to leave. Did you know he called you a toy? He placed his... "

"Stop". I said but they weren't paying attention to me.

"You weren't there!" Hen yelled angrily.

"So you are calling Mandy a liar". Vivian stated, arms crossed.

"She was sick". The words were spoken quietly and firmly and it annoyed me.

"I was sick, not brain dead". Somehow, I was standing too.

"I've taken a lot from you Henrietta because of that boy. I have given you time and space to come to your senses but I cannot take this. Christopher Lawal tried to rape me in my room, that is the truth. Accept it or not but don't try to change it because you are too coward to accept that you've been fooled".

The room was quiet as I walked out onto the corridor where students didn't bother to hide their stares. Everybody was going to know before the end of the day and I could already see them taking Chris' side.

        I could have gone to the counselor's office, I needed to offload but Sir. Don't had taken the term off to sort out personal issues and I wasn't a huge fan of the new substitute. So, instead of subjecting myself to the exercise of staring at her eagle eyes, I went to the back of the library where I sat by myself and cried because once again, I felt like a desert.