Two

I had just gotten back from school that day. Alade, Iya and a strange lady were seated in the living room discussing. The lady seemed to be in her mid thirties, she looked fresh but some fading scars on her face told of some bad experiences she must have had.

From the look on Iya's face, anyone could easily tell she didn't like our visitor. I greeted them and went into my room.

An hour later, Alade called me into the living room, he asked me to sit on the stool beside him. I was surprised, he never let me sit when we had visitors. He saw the confusion on my face and urged me further, I sat.

He cleared his throat the way he always did when he was about to spill spoilt milk, all was not well.

'Ayo. This lady here is named Nneka and...' He hesitated then glanced at me. I always looked calm on the outside.

'She is your mother'. I wasn't prepared to hear that.

'My mother? The one who ran away more than a decade ago?' I didn't realize I had said that out loud until I heard Iya's laughter. 'Yes o. That very one'. She said.

'Yemisi!' Alade scolded, causing Iya to shut up. 'Ayo, hear your mother out'.

'I'm listening'.

'Amanda'. She called me by my rarely used English name. "I'm sorry I abandoned you. I assure you that you never left my heart, I thought of you every single moment throughout the last thirteen years and that is why I have come back here for you'.

'Come back for me? Why did you leave?' I asked, still keeping calm. She looked over at Iya then her eyes fell to the ground. I knew she wasn't going to tell me.

'Ayo, your mother has come to take you with her'. Alade said.

'Baba you know I will not go with her. I have no reason to go with her'.

'Your mother is offering you a better life and a brighter future. I know you always wanted that'.

'If living with her is the only way to attain a bright future then I love darkness'.

'I told you that my Aramide will not leave her Iya'. Iya boasted.

'I am not staying because of you iya. If it were just you, I would have fled a long long time ago'. I said and left the house.

I went to the stream. I never went there before, I collected water from the borehole. It was amazing how peaceful the place could be, I sat on the edge and dipped my legs into the water, so soothing.

I couldn't believe I was pissed off, I always thought I'd be glad if my mother came back but it seemed I didn't even know myself. Not many people visited the stream and the few that did didn't bother talking to me.

All the while I spent at the stream, only two questions ran through my mind; where had she been? Why did she choose now to resurface? There was only one way to find out so I headed back home.

When I got there Alade wasn't in his room. Iya and our guest were making dinner. I offered to help but the look Iya gave me was enough to send me into coma. I was expecting that considering the way I had spoken to her earlier. Ms Nneka just stood staring at me so I went to my room.

She came into my room after some time to inform me that dinner was ready and I told her I wasn't hungry. She stood at my doorway for sometime perhaps contemplating on whether to come in or just mind her business. I would have preferred the latter but she went with the former.

She sat on my bed and just kept staring right into my face. I wasn't not the type to shy away from eye contacts so I stared back at her but she wasn't ready to back off.

'Why are you staring?' I finally asked.

'You look so much like my mother'. She said calmly and I could see the sorrow in her eyes, I almost fell for it.

'Please leave. I have work to do'. I said, still staring at her. I tried my hardest to make my voice sound harsh but she just wouldn't go away.

'I know you have questions for me, Ayo? Right? I heard baba call you that. I forgot the Yoruba name at some point'. She had a lot of nerves, telling her own daughter she had forgotten her name. What sort of mother did that?

'Just call me Amanda and I already asked the question I had in mind for years but you couldn't say a word. Are you sure you can handle more questions? I don't want you going permanently dumb'. She smiled, what was amusing?

'I met your father fifteen years ago at the community secondary school in my hometown. He had been posted there on service, I was in ss3. Your dad was so handsome, every girls in class was obsessed with him'. I scoffed. The criteria for handsomeness must have been different then

'I wasn't interested in your dad, my father was a catechist in the Roman Catholic Church. Mine was the kind of family were you are told that standing a meter away from a man will get you pregnant, we were always taught to protect our family's reputation. Reputation was the most crucial thing in my family.

As the captain of my class I visited the staff room quite regularly and I eventually became friends with your father. He was good with words and succeeded in luring me into his bed. When he got what he wanted, he dumped me. My heart was broken but the world came to an end for me when I realized I was pregnant, then, your father had already concluded his service year. I became a shadow of myself, I drank so many concoctions but you refused to go away.

My mother finally found out and things became worse. My father managed to locate your dad and immediately brought me down to this house. He didn't deny the pregnancy so my father left me here, forever, he made it clear that I was no longer welcomed to be his daughter.

Iya was the worst thing that ever happened to me. She made me work nonstop and beat me daily for opening my igbo legs for her son. As the pregnancy grew older, the punishments became more savage. I slept without bathing and woke with a bucket of water being thrown on my body and your dad did nothing about it, he just locked himself in his room with his Yoruba girlfriend all day'. She let out a bitter chuckle.

'I was nineteen when I gave birth to you, I thought I was going to die, everyone thought so too but I survived and when I saw the face of my baby I loved her instantly. Your father refused to name you so I called you Amanda, after my mother. After your birth, Iya became the devil, she made so much trouble about you not having their family's face and accused me of being promiscuous.

I endured, looking at your face always gave me strength and I wanted you to grow up with your family but if baba wasn't around, then you and I wouldn't feed so I decided to run away with you but I saw the way baba always held you in his arms and read to you, how he would carry you and dance around the house, the old man loved you, in you he saw a reason to live, how could I take that away from him? So I ran away and left my baby behind.

I told myself it was only for a while. I'll make some money, establish myself and come back for her in just a year but a year turned into two, three and I couldn't even fend for myself but now I'm back for you Amanda but if you love it here then I can't force you'. She concluded.

I continued staring at her. All what she had said was worse than I had expected, she had been through a lot and her own family disowned her, they had no right to do that.

If Alade hadn't disowned my father despite his recklessness then her parents were over judgmental. I felt relief at not being born into such a sanctimonious family. After a while she left my room. I could see tears in her eyes and I wondered if anyone ever wiped them for her, I wanted to wipe them but I just remained glued to my bed and began to feel tears run down my own cheeks.

Alade walked into my room and I immediately wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand.

'You don't have to hide your tears from me. I saw everything'. He said.

'She went through all that for me. I am so wicked I didn't die even when she tried to kill me in her womb'.

'You didn't die because you were destined for greatness. Ayo, the fact that you made it this far regardless of the circumstances surrounding your birth only proves how strong you are. If you really feel sorry for your mother then this is an opportunity to make her happy'.

'In as much as I feel obliged to move in with my mother, I won't because I still have responsibilities here. She is free to visit whenever she wants'.

I escorted her to the park and we said nothing till we got there. I walked beside her but my eyes were on her face the whole time. She would stare straight ahead and smile lightly at some point, once I saw tears gather at her eyes but she forced them back in quickly.

'Will you be okay?' She asked once we were at the park.

'I've been okay for the last thirteen years, what's going to change now?' she smiled and I left before the bus took off. When I got home my father was seated outside, looking restless. Immediately he saw me, he ran towards me.

'So that witch was here'. He said as he got to me.

'What witch?' I asked, feeling pleased with myself.

'You know exactly who I'm referring to so don't act smart with me. What did she tell you?'

'What do you care? It's my business not yours'. I said and started moving towards the door but he pulled me back.

'Don't walk out on your father, Aramide'. He said.

'Wow! I'm really surprised you know my name'. I meant that. 'Well congratulations dad, we just had our longest conversation'. I said and moved into the house. He just stood there staring at me as I walked away. It might have dawned on him that he had barely said fifty words to me in thirteen years. He had no right to be called my father.

Alade was seated on his armchair.

'Is she gone?' he asked.

I nodded and went into my room. The house was quiet, Iya wasn't in. Of course, she had gone to her counselor to complain. That woman just couldn't keep things to herself.

I couldn't stop thinking about my other grandparents, they were cowards. Sending their daughter away just to protect some silly reputation, what will reputation fetch them?

Every family gets their reputation tinted once upon a time but the family I live with get theirs tinted on a daily basis, either by Iya or her son. No family can be perfect