TWELVE

Abby's dad had still been working at the cash register when her mom got someone else to take his place, Andres. He was the only employee that was not from Latin America but spoke Spanish since he was from Spain. Abby had briefly dated him after Jun broke up with her but it was really more of a fling, a rebound. He was good in bed but he never really made her happy so she ended things with him. She didn't know he was still working there. 

The first thing Abby noticed when she had finally been able to calm down was that her parents had hired more people. There were a lot of new faces she had never seen. It meant that the restaurant was doing well which made sense considering how full the place seemed to be.

Authentic Mexican restaurants weren't common in Korea so her parents didn't have much competition. There were a few other so called "Mexican" restaurants in the city of Seoul but none of them served food like her mom's. While other restaurants had Koreans in their kitchen staff, her parents only hired Latinos with the exception of Andres who was European. And since foreigners living in Korea were becoming more common, it hadn't been hard. Of course all the employees still needed to speak Korean.

Being there in her parents restaurant and with all the staff they had made Abby feel more at home. She had never lived in a country in Latin America but back in California she had lived in communities with many Latinos. And as much as she loved living in Korea, she would sometimes find herself missing home. She would have probably already moved back to California since she no longer had a reason to stay in Seoul ever since her wedding had been called off but her Agoraphobia had stopped her from doing so.

Not only did going to a crowded place such as an airport scared Abby but she was also scared of getting on a plane. There were just so many things that could go wrong with a plane and she was scared of every one of those things. Because the last time she had been on a plane something bad had actually happened, her first ever panic attack.

She had been living in Korea with Jun for some months at the time but she left to California for two weeks so she could help her parents with packing. They had sold the beach house they loved so much just so that they could move to Korea with her. But during one of her drives out to get more packing supplies, she had gotten into a car accident. THE car accident that had changed her whole life and not only changed it but ruined it. It had been a week after surgery when she had her plane ticket to go back to Korea. The doctors gave her the OK to travel and so she got on that plane without knowing what was going to happen.

At the time she had never even experienced a panic attack. She had however been feeling anxious that whole week after the surgery. Her parents thought it was just the wedding jitters but it wasn't. Because even though she hadn't known what to call what she had been feeling, every time she got into a car after the accident she started feeling all the symptoms of a panic attack. But then later on it wasn't just getting into cars that caused her panic attacks, just being out at all made her heart start beating faster and she would get shortness of breath.

A month had passed like that and then another, her wedding was soon approaching. But before she got married she wanted to get help for whatever it was she had been experiencing and so she went to go see a doctor which then referred her to a psychologist. And it was then that she was told she had Agoraphobia. Jun didn't believe her when she told him this. He thought she was just making it all up as an excuse because she didn't want to go out with him. Every time she refused to go out he would only become annoyed. And each day he started distancing himself more from her. She should have seen it coming but she loved him and hoped that his attitude was only temporary, that he would come around and understand her situation but he never did. He didn't even wait around to see if she would get better. He just gave up on her and in turn she gave up on love.

Abby had been thinking about her past so intently that she hadn't even noticed she had already gotten to the back room where Cain and Jun's aunt were. Her mom had gone to the kitchen to get the cake and her dad was standing in front of her. 

"My wife tells me you're Abby's friend? Nice to meet you. I'm Abby's dad, Sergio." 

Her dad extended his hand out to her, he was waiting for her to shake it. Once he saw that she wasn't going to, he took his hand and rubbed his head with it.

"Oops. I forgot. Sorry. My wife told me you were a Germaphobe like Abby, is that true?" 

As she found herself not being able to speak, she simply nodded. She didn't like deceiving her parents and it made her feel bad but she had no other choice. 

"Well take a seat. I can assure you my wife has cleaned them well. Why she had them thoroughly cleaned just so that Abby could now be here sitting with us. Isn't that right, Abby?" 

She was about to answer to her own name but then she noticed that her dad was looking at Cain who he thought was her. Cain just said si and smiled.

There was an empty chair some feet away from Cain, she grabbed it and placed it closer to him. She couldn't believe she was doing this but she had to sit close to him if she wanted to know how he had been doing and not only that but she also wanted to know why he hadn't told her about her dad's birthday. 

"Hey. How are you holding up? Had any difficulties so far?" 

She had to lean into him to whisper just so that no one else could hear her. 

"None whatsoever. I was a bit nervous at first but then your mom told me about this Mrs. Lee that was going to be with them so I figured I would be able to get away with speaking in Korean." 

He was referring to Jun's aunt. And it looked like Abby had more to thank her for because if it hadn't been for her, Cain would have been screwed. She couldn't help but look up at her and smile. She was a nice lady and she had actually been looking forward to being her daughter-in-law since that was what Jun's aunt actually considered her to be despite her not really being Jun's mom. She had no children of her own so Jun was almost like a son to her. She had started raising him when both of his parents were tragically killed by a fire when he was only three. The only reason Jun hadn't died was because he was staying the weekend with his aunt at the time.

"Well Mrs. Lee has been a lifesaver more than once. We're lucky she was able to be here or else we would have been screwed. But why didn't you text me to tell me about it being my dad's birthday? You should have told me as soon as my mom asked for you to come. I could have helped you come up with an excuse so that you didn't have to be here." 

Abby had never missed one of her parent's birthdays before, not even when she started having Agoraphobia. She was the only family they had there in Korea and she owed them a lot for staying close to her even though she decided to move to a whole different country. But despite that, she would have still tried to come up with an excuse to not be there if Cain had only told her. It wasn't really going to be her that was going to be there anyways so she didn't see a point for him being at her parents restaurant just to celebrate the birthday of someone he didn't even know. Cain had never even met her dad before. He owed him nothing. He could have just stayed at the apartment instead of being there.

"It's your dad's birthday. How could I not have his daughter be there with him to celebrate it? Besides, I didn't tell you because I knew you would try to make an excuse not to come. But I was sure that if you were in your own body that you would actually want to be here with your dad. So I did the only thing I could do, I came and I'm playing your part as a daughter. I'm sure you would have done the same for me." 

He was right, she would have done the same for him. Except that for him it was harder to be able to interact with her parents because even though they spoke Korean, they expected their daughter to speak Spanish to them. But again she had Mrs. Lee to thank for the occasion because of her, there was no longer a need for Cain to try to speak Spanish.

"You've asked me two questions now. Would it be okay for me to ask you one?" 

"Sure." 

She didn't see why not. It was only fair that he had questions just like she had them. 

"A guy that works here...I think his name was Andres?" 

"Yea. What about him?" 

She was surprised to hear Cain say the name of the guy she had a fling with but that was all she felt, surprised. She didn't really feel anything for the guy.

"Well I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend...he asked me if I wanted to hook up with him. He said he missed the fun nights you two had together." 

She had no idea Andres still had a thing for her. They hadn't talked in a while and it was probably the first time he had even seen her in years. But imagining Cain having this type of interaction with another guy made her laugh. She would have loved to have seen his reaction.

"What did you tell him?" 

She didn't think he would tell him yes but she was still curious to know what he told him. 

"Obviously I told him no but I didn't know who he was to you or how you felt about him so I didn't say it rudely. I just declined politely." 

This made Abby laugh for the second time in a row.

"You still haven't told me who he is to you. If he's not your boyfriend, is he perhaps someone you just hook up with? Should I have told him you would call him later?" 

She thought he was sweet to even be willing to do such a thing as telling some guy she hooked up with that she would call him later. 

"Well he's not my boyfriend that's for sure. We did sort of dated briefly some years ago and it was mostly just to hook up but I ended things with him a long time ago. My fling with him didn't really last all that long. I didn't think he would still have an interest in me. You did good in telling him no. And you didn't have to tell him I would call him later because I wouldn't have. I'm no longer interested in him. I'm no longer interested in anyone actually." 

Hearing that she no longer had a thing for Andres made Cain happy but hearing her last words made him feel sad. Because if she wasn't interested in anyone then that could only mean that she wasn't interested in him either.

"Well you two seem awfully close for two Germaphobes." 

Her mom had just arrived with the cake and was setting it in front of them. She smiled as she looked up at them both. 

"Well you've said it, we're two Germaphobes. Us Germaphobes only allow other Germaphobes near us." 

It was something Abby's mom would have expected to hear from her daughter but not from her guy friend. Abby just really had to say it since she knew Cain wasn't going to. She couldn't let her mom get her hopes us just because she wanted her daughter to find someone to date.

"Oh. Are you two not dating? The way I saw you two so close to each other and whispering in each other's ears, I thought that perhaps you were." 

Neither Abby or Cain had noticed but Mrs. Lee had been watching them the whole time.

"See. Even Mrs. Lee thinks you two look like a couple." 

"Ma—Mrs. Hernandez, is it? With all due respect, I'm eight years your daughter's junior and I don't think she's interested in dating someone that young." 

She had been so close to talking to her mom in Spanish and not only that but she had been close to calling her mom.

"Well she doesn't look eight years older than you, does she? She actually looks around your age if you ask me. My daughter has always looked younger than her age just like her momma. She got my good genes." 

Her mom flipped her hair and winked at them both. Not only was that embarrassing to Abby but she was also starting to get annoyed and she didn't know why Cain hadn't said anything but just sat there listening instead.

"Perhaps the boy is just saying that because he's the one that's not interested. But what if Abby were to give Jun anot—" 

"I am interested." 

Cain had cut off whatever ludicrous idea Mrs. Lee was going to say. He had stood up and had both hands flat on the table. Abby would never have put her hands on the table like that. She wondered what he was thinking. 

"You are interested in what my dear? In getting back with your ex? Is that what you were going to say? I thought you said you were never getting back together with him." 

Abby's mom was looking at Cain but he didn't know what to say. He had spoken without thinking. 

"She would never. She told me she hated her ex, sorry Mrs. Lee. The guy was a jerk to her." 

Since Cain wasn't going to, Abby had to speak for him or more like for herself since everyone thought he was her. Cain noticed the awkward atmosphere he had caused. 

"I—uh—meant I was interested in eating this delicious cake that's in front of us right now. I'm starving." 

He knew they probably weren't going to believe him but it was the only thing he could come up with.

The rest of the evening had been awkward after that but at least nothing else had happened. Cain started acting more like Abby and Abby continued playing her role as Cain. It was a tiring night for both of them but at least they were able to end it early since it was almost 8 and she had to go back to the dorms. Cain decided to accompany her outside while she waited for a taxi. 

"What were you thinking back there?! You almost ruined things! Why did you have to say you were interested out of nowhere?! Hadn't you realized Mrs. Lee was still talking?! And not only that but she was talking about me getting back together with Jun! How embarrassing!"

Abby liked Mrs. Lee but it wasn't the first time she had brought up the idea of her getting back with Jun. She hated whenever she did that and wished she would stop. There was no way she was ever getting back with him, he had hurt her too much for that. 

"She...She had said I wasn't interested in you..."

"Yea, and so what? You aren't so what's the big deal if she said that? She was only saying the truth." 

Cain wondered if she really believed that. But Abby wouldn't have believed him even if he told her he was interested in her. Since she no longer believed in love, she no longer believed anyone could be interested in her, at least not in that way. Andres might still have been interested in her but he was interested in another way. Abby had been fine with hooking up with him but once she had started seeing things getting serious, she ended it with him. She could allow herself to feel lust and for others to feel lust for her but she could never allow love, not again. She wasn't going to make that same mistake twice.

He was about to correct her and tell her that he was interested in her but just then the taxi arrived. 

"The taxi is here. I have to go. Please do text if something like this happens again." 

She ended up leaving him before he was able to respond. He knew he was going to have to be patient just like the psychic had told him. If something was worth it then so was the wait and he was willing to wait for her until she was ready to love again.

Abby had noticed that Cain had wanted to say something but the taxi had arrived and she didn't want to make the taxi driver any more impatient than he was already going to be once she started cleaning the seat. She felt bad that she had gone off on him but she was just really tired of everyone wanting her to be with someone. She was doing just fine alone and she didn't need another heartbreak ruining her life. 

Abby felt Cain's phone vibrate in her pocket. She took it out thinking that perhaps it was a text from a Adam member but it was Cain. Technically he was still a Adam member but she hadn't expected a text from him so soon since they had literally just parted.

<I'm sorry.>

He had wanted to apologize to her but he didn't get the chance to. And he wasn't just sorry for what he did but he was also sorry for whatever it was she had gone through in the past, for whatever it was that was still hurting her. He didn't know the whole story with Abby and her ex but he could tell that it was a relationship that had ended up hurting her and he was sorry for that. He didn't think she deserved that pain.

<I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. I know it must be hard but you've been trying your best to try and act as me and I appreciate that truly. You went above and beyond just by being there with my parents tonight. You didn't have to but you still did and I think that was really nice of you. So thank you.>

<It's fine. I know it must have been hard for you wanting to say all these things as yourself but not being able to. I know I should have done a better job at being you but for that I would probably have to get to know you better>...I wished we still lived together.

Cain had typed the last part but then ended up deleting it before sending it.

<You're right. You would need to know me better in order to be able to do a better job at being me. I on the other hand at least know some things about you since I've been your fan ever since you debuted. So to make things fair, I'll tell you anything about me if you just ask.>

Abby had already told him some things about her just like he had also told her some things about him and the other members. But none of the things she had told him were really all that personal, things that Cain might actually have to know in order to be able to be her. And one thing she hadn't told him was about her tragic past, at least not all of it. All she had told him was that she had gotten her scars from a car accident but she didn't give him any of the details and he had been considerate enough not to ask.

<Anything?>

She realized that perhaps she shouldn't have said that. She was fine with telling him some things but not everything.

<So long as it's nothing TOO personal OR weird.>

<Ok. Is Neon Green your favorite color?>

He wanted to start with a light question first. He was pretty sure it was her favorite color but he just hoped to make her smile by asking such a question.

<Is that really one of your questions? I thought you already knew what my favorite color was considering how most of the things you've bought me have been either Neon Green or other shades of green.>

<So is that a yes?>

<Yes. Any more questions? Things you actually don't know but want to know.>

<What's your type?>

He knew this was a daring question but he wanted to know.

<What's my type of what? Blood?>

<Your ideal type.>

He realized he should have been more specific to begin with.

<Ideal type of...?>

She had known what he meant from the start but she wanted to mess with him. Out of all the things he could of asked her, she didn't know why he chose to ask her this. It wasn't like he was going to start dating guys for her.

<Well that Spanish guy at the restaurant...is he your type?>

Abby had dated all different kinds of guys, all were different from the other. Her first two boyfriends had been Mexican but after them she had started dating guys from other ethnicities. For a while she had really been into white boys with blue eyes and so she had about three white boyfriends. And then before Jun she had dated an Indian guy but they didn't date long since he had to go back to India. Then after Jun who was Korean, she had her short-lived fling with Andres who was from Spain. And the only reason why she had been attracted to him was because he looked a lot like one of her favorite singers who was in a Spanish band called Dvicio. The funny thing was that he was even named after that singer, Andres.

<I don't really have a type. The only thing I liked about Andres was the sex and that he looked a lot like one of my favorite singers. Oh and I also liked that he would sing songs from said singer since he's actually good at singing. It almost felt like I was sleeping with the actual singer himself.>

<You're really going to say you don't have a type? Well how many guys have you dated?>

<About eight more or less.>

<And did these eight guys have anything in common?>

She already knew they didn't, at least not when it came to their looks. But there was one thing they did all have in common.

<They were all my oppas.>

She remembered how big of deal Cain had made about whether or not he was her oppa so she decided to go with the word oppa instead of saying the guys were all older. Although technically Jun had been the same age as her but he was a few months older so he was still considered an oppa. All the other guys she had dated were 2-3 years older than her.

<So does this mean you only like older guys then?>

He was disappointed to hear that all the guys she had dated were older than her because he wasn't, he was younger than her and by a lot.

<Not exactly. It's not like I actually went around asking their age before agreeing to date them. They just happened to be older.>

<Then would you consider dating a younger guy?>

<Well...I don't know what to say to that...>

He used the word dating and that was something she hadn't been thinking of doing. Before her Mysophobia she was fine with just sleeping around with guys just like she had done with Andres but dating was a whole different thing. She didn't know why he was even bringing up dating when they had just been talking about ideal types.

<Why do you say that?>

<Well you said dating. But we were just talking about ideal types. So if what you meant was that if I would think of a younger guy as attractive then my answer would be yes. A guy could be attractive whether he's younger or older. Age is not really all that important when it comes to that. But if what you meant really was dating, it wouldn't matter if you said older or younger because I would just say no to both.>

Because by doing so she would be saying no to another heartbreak.

<Oh. Well okay...>

He was just going to have to make sure to change her mind on that.

<Is that all? You have no more questions for me?>

She was surprised he hadn't asked her anything else.

<None that I can think of. But will your offer still stand if I come up with more questions later?>

<Of course. Anytime. And I've arrived at the dorms now so I GTG! TTYL!>