TWENTY-FIVE

The water park was emptier than it had been before. There were even less people around which made sense considering how all the staff from EVE and all the members of Adam except for two had left. There were no crowds around and yet Abby still felt that feeling of panic surge. Shakiness, dizziness, fast heart rate, chest pain and shortness of breath. All symptoms of a panic attack, and all at once she was having them. She was stranded in a place far away and with no means to go back to her "safe place", the dorms. Because that's what the dorms had become to her, her safe place.

All day long she had been out in a public place doing things she never did. She felt dirty and she needed to take a shower but there were no showers there. There was no way for her to clean herself. And no way for her to be able to change clothes. Knowing all this only made her panic even more.

Abel was able to notice the change in her. It was her shaking that he had noticed first. For a brief moment he thought she might have been cold but he quickly dismissed that idea. The sun had indeed started to set but the air was not yet cold. And since she hadn't gotten in the water, her clothes were completely dry. There was no reason for her to be cold. But the moment Abel saw her gasping for air he knew that it was a panic attack that she was having.

"Are you okay? I mean, is something wrong?" 

He only knew that she was having a panic attack but he didn't know the reason why or what had caused it.

"Shower."

Barely being able to utter a word, Abby said the one thing that it was she needed.

"Huh?" 

"I need—to—take—a—shower."

She gasped in between words.

Abel had noticed the more than normal amount of showers Abby took but he had only assumed it was because she was a girl. Not because she was a germaphobe that would get a panic attack if she did not shower whenever she felt dirty. But seeing as how she was having a panic attack while saying that she needed to take a shower, Abel realized that the two things we're connected.

He knew he had to do something to help Abby. He had to think of something they could do. There were no showers at the water park so it was obvious that she wouldn't be able to take one there. They were also far from the dorms and didn't have a ride back. He tried checking his phone but the battery was dead so he couldn't call anyone, at least not with his phone.

"Hey can I see your phone? We can call the guys and see if they can come back for us." 

"My phone? You're right! We can call them!" 

It was the most logical thing to do in such a situation yet she hadn't thought of it because she had been too busy dealing with the effects of her panic attack.

Abby checked her front jean pockets and then the back but there was no phone in any of the pockets. The last time she remembered seeing it was when Josiah had asked if he could borrow it. She hadn't wanted to let him use it because sharing her phone with others was something she never did just like she never used anyone else's phone because doing so was like sharing germs. But then Josiah made cute puppy dog eyes at her and it had been too hard to refuse him. Abby had planned on wiping her phone with a disinfectant wipe once he gave her back her phone but it seemed like he never got around to it and she had been too distracted by Abel that she had forgotten all about it.

"I don't have my phone with me. I let Josiah borrow it and he never returned it back." 

"Ugh. That boy always does that. His phone battery dies and then he wants to start using someone else's phone. Well I guess there's just one thing left for us to do then." 

They were going to have to go back inside the water park and try to ask an employee to let them borrow their phone. Abel didn't know any phone numbers by memory though so if Abby didn't remember any of the members phone numbers either then he was going to just have to call a taxi for them.

He had walked ahead thinking that Abby would follow after him but instead she had started walking around aimlessly in the parking lot. When he turned around and noticed she wasn't following him, he ran over to her side. 

"What are you doing? Neither of the vans are here and neither are any of the cars from EVE." 

"I know but I just thought that perhaps Mrs. Lee was still here...We could ask her for a ride if she is." 

It hadn't been long since they had talked to her. She thought there was still a chance of her being there although she had some doubts. Mrs. Lee always liked looking neat so if Abby had to guess, she had gone back so she could change. She was an important person after all so her image mattered for her reputation. But to Abby, Mrs. Lee was their only hope.

Abel didn't want to say it but he felt he needed to. He knew Abby would only be wasting her time by looking for someone that was obviously no longer there. 

"I don't think she's still here. Mrs. Lee is probably a busy person so I wouldn't see why she would waste her time here. She already got what she came for after all." 

It looked like he hadn't said the right thing because he could see that Abby had started crying after what he said. 

"I'm so sorry." 

He felt like hugging her but knowing that she didn't like others touching her, he decided not to. Instead he could only try to comfort her with words.

"Please don't worry though. I'll get us out of here and even find a place where you can shower. Just follow me. I was going to see if an employee at the water park could let us borrow their phone."

If he remembered correctly, he had seen a hotel on their way to the water park. It had probably only been about 10 minutes away which was much closer than the 3 hours it would take for them to get back to their dorms. All he needed to do was google the hotel once he borrowed a phone from someone and have a taxi take them there. Abel didn't know if Abby would be okay with going to a hotel though so he had to ask just to make sure, he didn't want to end up upsetting her a second time. 

"Hey Abby...would you perhaps be okay with going to a hotel? I saw one nearby and I know you said you wanted to take a shower but it would take us at least three hours to get back to the dorms."

She had almost forgotten they were in a place that was three hours away. And since neither she or the other members except for Joel knew about the location they were going, she had thought they would be back at the dorms much sooner. Had Abby known that they were going to such a far place, she would have taken along her laptop with her because she had a job that needed to be submitted later that night. Waiting three hours to be able to work on that job wasn't possible. Just getting it done required about five hours and the deadline was in exactly five hours. Abby didn't have her phone with her but she was wearing a watch which told her the time.

"A hotel? Do you happen to know if they have any laptops or computers there?" 

She couldn't believe she was actually thinking about doing such a thing but there was no other choice. Had she had her phone with her, she could have called and asked for an extension but lately she had been doing that a lot and doing it once more could ruin her reputation as a reliable editor.

"I would think so. Why do you ask?" 

"I have work I have to turn in and the deadline is in five hours and that's actually how long I think it will take me to do it." 

She always saved all her work on Google Drive and OneDrive and because of that it was possible for her to access her work from other computers or laptops. 

"You think you can work on a computer or laptop that's not yours?" 

Abel knew doing such a thing would not be easy for her, especially since it would be a laptop or a computer that many others used. He had noticed that she didn't even like to touch the remotes everyone at the dorms used, remotes such as for the TV or the fans. She always tried to avoid touching something that others often touched as much as possible.

"Well even if I can't, I'm going to have to. I have no other choice. Besides, I could always just ask the hotel if they have any latex gloves they can give me." 

It seemed like the only solution to her. 

"You do actually." 

Abel smiled as he got an idea.

"I do what?" 

"Have another choice." 

He pointed  at himself. 

"You? What do you mean?"

"I'll be your hands. You just tell me what to do and I'll do it. No need for you to even touch a single key on the keyboard."

It all sounded like a good idea but there was just one thing wrong, Abby didn't think she would feel good having him do such a thing. It was her job, she was the one being paid for it. It would be like cheating if she didn't do it herself. And if there was one thing she felt pride in was in her work. She had always done everything on her own without even the help of an assisting editor.

"I appreciate the offer Abe but this is something I have to do by myself even if it is something that will be hard for me to do."

Abel felt sad at Abby's refusal. He had thought she was already comfortable with him yet it seemed like she was trying to push him away and he wondered why. There was one thing he wanted her to know though and to make sure she knew it, he had to tell her upfront. He had already told her he liked her and yet it was like she hadn't fully understood what that meant.

"You remember how I told you that I like you? Well what do you think that implies?" 

"I don't know but can we please just go find someone that can let us borrow their phone?" 

She needed to get her hands on a computer or a laptop as soon as possible and to her that was the most important thing at the moment.

Abel noticed the tone of urgency in her voice. And he knew that if he really wanted to help her, finding a phone for them to use was the first thing he was going to have to do. He didn't want her to have to go walking around just to find someone that would let them borrow their phone though, that was something he could do on his own. Just then he saw a bench near the restrooms that were by the water park's entrance. It was the perfect spot for Abby to wait. But before asking her to sit, there was something Abel needed to do first.

"Wait here a bit." 

He went into the restrooms while Abby stood outside. She thought that perhaps he just needed to use the restroom but instead she was surprised to see him walk out with a bunch of toilet paper in his hands. She watched as he spread that same toilet paper on a bench nearby. She was confused by his actions but then realized what his intention had been. He had after all seen her do such things before.

"Take a seat. You're probably tired from all the running and walking. I'll go find us that phone and return once I've called a taxi."

It didn't take long for Abel to find someone that would let him borrow their phone. It had been an ajumma that was sweeping. She had recognized Abel right away since her daughter was a fan of Adam and he just so happened to be her bias. So as a thank you for letting him use her phone, he took a selfie that she could give to his daughter and even used the S pen to sign his autograph. The ajumma had been so thankful that she ended up giving him a bunch of sweets.

Abby was sitting down staring at the setting sun when she felt something fall onto her lap. She looked down and saw that it was a cherry tootsie pop. And taking a seat next to her was Abel that had unwrapped a tootsie pop for himself and was licking it, actually licking it and not sucking it like people usually did with lollipops. She found it funny and started laughing. He was weird sometimes but Abby liked that about him. She had to know why he was doing that though since she had never met anyone before that licked their lollipops.

"Why are you licking that lollipop instead of just sucking it? Won't it take you longer to eat it that way? Don't tell me you're one of those weird people that don't actually crunch on their lollipops."

Out of all the candies the ajumma had given him, he had chosen the tootsie pop for a reason. He knew he was going to sound corny once he said what he planned on saying but he didn't care.

"I wanted to find out how many licks it would take. Do you know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

Abby sighed and rolled her eyes at this.

"Well? Do you?" 

She hadn't answered him and he wanted her to answer in order for him to be able to proceed with what he planned on asking next. 

"I don't know." 

It was just the answer Abel wanted to hear. 

"I don't think anyone knows but do you know how many days it would take for me to get to the center of your heart?"

Abby almost ended up choking on the lollipop that she was sucking on. She didn't think of herself worthy of his attention and it made her wonder why Abel kept being so persistent on such a topic. And the worst part was that each time he brought the topic up, her heart would start to race. She always wanted to blame her anxiety for it but she knew deep down that it wasn't her anxiety that was causing her heart to beat faster. She was just too afraid to admit the real reason.

He knew Abby wasn't going to answer his question but there was still a reason why he had asked. Because either she didn't believe his feelings for her or she didn't want to believe them. But no matter what Abel had decided on standing firm on those feelings and was going to make sure she knew by bringing it up any chance he got. He thought that perhaps by doing this Abby would someday either believe or accept those feelings he had for her.

They had both been silent for too long that it only made the situation more awkward. The taxi driver had told Abel that it would be there in five minutes but the taxi still hadn't arrived. This however gave him the opportunity to say what it was he had wanted to say earlier. They were just sitting doing nothing so he thought he could use the time to express his feelings for her.

"Please just hear me out this time, it is all I ask. You don't even have to respond but it's something you must know. Earlier...when I said that I like you and I asked if you knew what that implied. Well it's not really a question I expected you to answer since you probably don't even know the answer but this is why I want to let you know that answer. Because liking you implies so much more than what you think. Liking you means that—"

He was cut off just then by the taxi that had arrived at that moment. The driver was honking at them and there was no way for him to finish saying what he had wanted to tell her. He also knew that Abby was in a hurry to get her job done. Because of this he had no other choice but to yet again postpone what he was going to say. 

They needed a room with two beds but the only room that was available only had one bed. Abel had even asked the hotel receptionist to check a second time but her answer had been the same. He had to make a decision, either take the room or leave. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if they were only going to stay there for a while and then leave but they were going to have to spend the night there.

Abel could tell that the receptionist was growing impatient. But not knowing what to respond, he had to look to where Abby was standing. He was able to see that she was having yet another panic attack and it was then that the answer became clear to him. They needed that room. He could only assume that the lobby was too crowded for Abby and that getting her a room with no one else around but him was the best he could do for her.

They had both been taken to their room but it didn't seem like Abby had been able to calm down. She was still gasping for air just like she had been at the water park's parking lot. Abel wanted to tell her to either sit or lay down but he wasn't sure she could do that. She had refused to even sit in the lobby because there were too many germs there. It made Abel wonder what their biggest problem was going to be, there being only one bed or Abby possibly not being able to sleep on that bed. He was sure she already knew they were going to have to spend the night there, it was the obvious thing for them to do. He wanted to help her in any way he could though.

One thing he had noticed was that despite Abby having had a panic attack at the water park's parking lot and then again at the hotel, she hadn't taken any of her meds. Abel wondered why that was but then realized the reason for that was because she didn't have a water bottle with her. It was another thing he had to get her along with the laptop that she needed. Not wanting to leave her alone in the room, he called the hotel's lobby and asked for both things. Once the hotel employee arrived with the laptop and water, Abel remembered about the gloves that Abby was going to need. He asked the hotel employee if it was possible to get him latex gloves but was told that was something that couldn't be given out since they were meant for the use of hotel employees only.

"I knew I shouldn't have used up all my disinfectant wipes earlier." 

Abby had been disappointed at hearing that the hotel couldn't provide her with latex gloves. Just for that she planned on taking off a star from the rating she was going to give the hotel. She had really been relying on the thought that she was going to be able to use gloves to type. Without them, she didn't know what to do but stare at the opened laptop that was in front of her. Staring at it wasn't going to type out the words for her though. Because of her Mysophobia things just always seemed harder for her to do, even the simplest of things. Just to be able to sit down in the chair she was sitting on, Abel had to put a bunch of toilet paper on top of it.

"My offer from earlier still stands." 

Abel grabbed another chair from the room and placed it next to Abby's. The funny thing was that the desk was actually bigger than the bed there. It was big enough for the two to be able to work side by side with even a bit of space in between them. Because of this, he didn't see a problem with them working together.

"What offer?"

"My offer to be your hands. C'mon let me just type for you. It's not like it's a big deal. I'm also fast at typing so I'm sure we'll get done sooner with both of us working together."

"But...I wanted to do this on my own...I'm pathetic though, aren't I? I can't even do something as simple as typing on a laptop that's not mine." 

Abel always thought that liking someone that didn't feel the same way was the worst thing that could happen but at that moment he realized that wasn't true. What was worse was when the person he liked didn't even like themselves. Because hearing Abby say such things about herself hurt him more than her not liking him. And he wished that she could somehow see what it was he saw in her and that she would like herself just as he liked her. It seemed like the perfect timing for him to tell her what it was he had wanted to say earlier that day.

"Liking you means that hearing you say such lies about yourself hurts me just as much you are hurting yourself. Liking you means that I want you to like yourself more than I want you to like me. It means that I want you to like yourself just like I like you." 

Abby had been too shocked by his words that all she could do was blink as she stared at Abel. No one had ever told her such things before. 

"Liking you means that I'll do anything I possibly can for you and that includes taking care of you. Liking you means that I want to see you smile and for me to be the cause of that smile. Liking you means that—" 

He wasn't able to finish what he was saying because at that moment Abby had him wrapped in a hug as she was crying.

"If I liked you...it would mean that I would have to like myself but I don't...not the way I am now...And I don't want you to like me as I am. I'm broken Abel and I'm afraid that either you'll get tired of me and leave me or that you only pity me and want to try to fix me but then leave me once you do. I'm afraid...to love and be loved. I don't want things to go wrong again. I don't want to go back into that darkness. I don't want to be hurt or even end up hurting myself again."

It was the first time Abby ever spoke her fears aloud and they were the reason why she had chosen to close herself off to love. She was afraid. But being afraid was normal when it came to love, even Abel was afraid. He was afraid that he would somehow end up hurting her just like her ex had. He would never leave her like she feared but there were more ways than one to hurt a person. And Abel knew that just the fact that he was an idol could somehow end up hurting her if they were to start dating. It made him wonder if perhaps he was greedy for wanting to love someone.

His grandma had told him that he was going to have to be patient with Abby because she first needed to learn to love herself in order for her to accept being loved by others. He knew there were things she had to work on first and yet he had still tried to rush her into something she wasn't ready for. Abel started feeling guilty but because of that guilt he was prepared to do anything he could to help her love herself. And in order for that to happen, letting her work out her own problems was going to be necessary. It sounded cruel to do so but it was the only way.

Letting her do what she had intended to do was the first thing Abel was going to do. He was no longer going to push his help on her, at least not at that moment. He was going to give her that opportunity to work on something she needed to work on, the self-improvement she needed in order for her to love herself.

"I'll just turn on the laptop for you." 

Abel reached out for the power button and then pushed the laptop over to Abby. He knew turning on the laptop wasn't much but as much as he wanted to do more, he had to at least let her try. Not letting her do so and instead imposing his "help" wasn't really going to end up helping her much in the end.

Abby hesitated at first but after a few minutes of staring at the time, she realized that time wasn't going to wait for her. She needed to get started if she wanted to get that job done and for that she needed to type. It was near 11 when Abby let out a yawn. Abel having wanted to at least be there as support was still sitting next to her. It had been almost four hours of her typing nonstop and he could tell that she was tired. She hadn't even taken the shower she had wanted to take. Knowing that they were going to have to wake up three hours earlier than usual, Abel knew it was time for him to step in and help.

"Go take a shower so you can go to sleep and I'll finish the rest." 

He took the laptop from her and started typing out corrections. She wanted to refuse but it didn't look like he would take no for an answer so instead she nodded and went ahead to take a shower. 

She turned on the water hotter than usual and scrubbed every part of her body until her hands were too wrinkled to continue on. Once she finally came out, she was surprised to find a robe hanging from a hook on the wall. It hadn't been there when she got in.

"Abe! Did you put that robe there?!" 

"Yes and it's new. The hotel gives them to guests for them to keep. I asked for it since I thought it would be better than you putting on back the dirty clothes you were wearing. Also, I asked for a newly washed blanket and sheets to be put on the bed as well as newly washed covers on the pillows. So you can go ahead and sleep on the bed now."

Abby was laying down on the bed but she couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about all the things Abel had said. It was hard for her to believe but he had sounded so sincere. And then there was the way he was looking at her, the look that had made her heart start to beat faster. If that wasn't enough proof there were also his actions, the things he did for her and the things he was willing to do. Reflecting on all that, made her start to believe that maybe just maybe Abel really did like her. It was because of this that her heart started beating faster as she was preparing to say what she was going to say next.

"Abe." 

"Yes?" 

Abel having thought that she had fallen asleep was surprised to hear Abby call his name.

"I know there is only one bed and yet there are two of us...I'm in the bed right now but there is enough room for you as well...Once you're done...you can lay down next to me." 

Being afraid that his voice would show how nervous he was, he decided to just nod in response.

It ended up taking him another half hour to finish. The time was 11:58 pm when he submitted the work. He was about to get in bed when he noticed Abby wasn't as covered as she should have been. One of her arms was sticking out and so was one leg. It seemed like either she turned and the blanket got off her or she had left herself uncovered on purpose so that it would leave most of the blanket to him. He had to go over to her side and pull the blanket enough so that even if she ended up rolling on her side while she slept, she would still be covered.

"You may think no one would like you as you are now but you are mistaken. And you may think that there is something wrong with you but there isn't, at least not to me. You are perfect just the way you are and I like you just the way you are. I'm also not the only one that likes you and that just proves how mistaken you are about yourself. I guess I'm just lucky that you ended up in the body of the other guy that likes you because otherwise it could have been him with you right now instead of me."

Abby had noticed when Abel had turned off the laptop since there was no longer that light in the room and because of this she decided to pretend to be asleep and closed her eyes. She felt as he covered her with the blanket and even heard him say the things he didn't think she would hear since he thought she was asleep.