The Cruise 4 - Is That Y*u?

Ella went straight to the bathroom, turned on the lights and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were dark green, her face red. She touched her swollen lips and closed her eyes, remembering Justin's lips on her. God! What have I done? This is not me… this is nuts! “What am I going to do? I’m stuck on a ship with a handsome, crazy guy who thinks I’m somebody else!” she said out loud. “And worse, it seems I can’t tear my eyes away from him,” Ella let it out a nervous laugh. She washed her face, put her pajamas on, and laid down on her bed. She was appalled with herself. Staring at the ceiling in the dark, listening to the sound of the sea outside, Ella never felt this way, at least not with Tom. What was wrong with her? There’s something compelling about him. Something she can’t put her finger on. Maybe his troubled eyes, she knows suffering, she had her own share of it, and somehow she connected with him, she just didn’t know why, but she did. Lost in the middle of her thoughts and the light swing of the ship, she drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

The moment Ella left and closed the door behind her, Justin screamed in frustration and punched the wall hard, trying to dissipate his anger. His head was pounding in pain, his mind a mess, his body aroused and frustrated, and he was feeling pissed at himself, at her, and at the entire world for making him go through all of this again. He poured himself a drink, a second and a third, pacing back and forth in the small living room of his cabin, suddenly he threw the glass against the door shattering in a million pieces, and he dropped himself onto the bed face down and drifted off. His sleep was restless. 

“Stop that shit, you’re embarrassing me!” Justin warned in low commanding voice close to her ear.

Claire rolled her eyes and giggled. “What? What am I doing, honey?” sneaking one hand under his blazer and putting the other on his forearm, she kept making eye contact with Josh across the room. She darted the tip of her tongue out languorously licking her lips and winked at him.

“Ok, that enough. We’re going home.” Justin got her by the arm and dragged her out of the room.

“I don’t wanna go! The party is so fun!” he kept dragging her. “Ok! Let me go to the ladies room first!” she pulled her arm out of his grip. He followed her. Claire took her time there, when she came out he was fuming, he grabbed her again by the waist and pulled her to the door. “Ouch, you’re such an asshole.”

“Shut up, Claire! The car is up front!” he shook her quiet.

“Justin, Justin! Leaving already, man?” Chris called him.

“I am, Claire is not feeling good.”

“Yeah right!” Claire snorted. I’m in the car.” and she got in the back of the car.

Claire was sitting slumped on the other side of the back seat, looking out of the window. “Jack, we can go,” he closed his eyes raking his hand through his hair and inhaled sharply. “What’s wrong with you?” when she didn’t look to him, he made her to. “This is the last time you humiliate me in front of my friends, Claire,”

She stared at him with no light in her eyes, they were glinting but with unshed tears. “I told you I didn’t want to come, I begged you, Justin,” her voice was a thread, almost gone.

“So you thought to behave like a bitch in heat?” he shook her so hard she felt he may have dislodged her brain.

“No! No! Stop. You’re hurting me!” he let go of her, and she made herself as small as she could close to the car window falling in a convulsive cry...

Justin woke up abruptly with a huge headache. He looked at the clock; it was six in the morning. Shit, I need some coffee! He dragged himself to the bathroom and took a cold shower trying to clear the haze in his mind and get rid of the pain. He shaved and took care of the cut in his forehead. Got dressed in a black faded jeans, a fitted dark gray t-shirt and sneakers. He took his phone and pressed his lawyer’s name.

“Justin?” a sleepy voice answered.

“Hey George! Sorry, I know it’s middle of the night over there, but it’s urgent.”

“Ok, what’s up”

“I need all the information you can find on Ella Dawson. Everything.”

“Fine, I’ll get them for you, did something happened?”

“Not yet, my friend. Don’t worry about it.”

“I mailed them to you as soon as I have them. Night Justin,” he hung up and Justin left to the dining room to find some strong coffee cure his hangover. 

Entering the room his eyes found Ella’s, she was already there. She captivated him immediately. She was gorgeous, wearing a green-striped rib t-shirt dress that matched the green of her eyes, sandals and her hair was up in a ponytail. Ella was beautiful and elegant. Justin went straight to the buffet, got a mug full of coffee and headed to the table she was in.

“Morning,” he greeted with a deep and tired voice staring at her. “You don’t look good this morning.”

She tilted her head giving him a screw you look. “I imagine you haven’t looked at yourself in the mirror today, right?” she retorted humorlessly. “Hey, I don’t remember inviting you to join me for breakfast!” she scowled at Justin once she saw him slumping on the sit in front of her. 

Justin slowly sipped his coffee, staring at Ella from behind his mug. His questioning eyes traveling all over her. Ella started blushing and squirming on her chair. “Stopping staring at me!” 

“Sorry, it’s stronger than me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said honestly. “I’m trying to figure out what happened to us last night.”

“First, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’ve never behaved this way with someone I just met, but there’s something about you that draws me to you and it’s freaking scaring me! “she blurted out exasperated, blushing even harder. “Second, you think I’m someone I’m not. I’m not this person, whoever the hell she might be. I’m not her!” she answered in distress. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way,” he noticed her anguished tone, and his eyes went from dark gray to black in a flip of a second.

“So I think it’s better for us to keep a distance from each other until we get back to Italy.” 

“I don’t think so,” he muttered.

“But I do. I came on this trip because I needed time for myself, and I won’t get it with you around me.” Ella twisted her fingers on top of her lap.  

“Ok, let’s stop playing games then,” he said matter of fact. 

“What do you mean?” Ella felt desperate suddenly.

“It’s impossible you’re not Claire. So just cut crap and tell me the truth. Nothing is gonna happen to you,” he assured her with contempt in his voice. 

“Claire! Who the hell is Claire??? Are you out of your freaking mind?” she looked at him aghast. 

“Stop with the act, Claire! I swear to God, I don’t know how you are alive, but we have time and you’re gonna tell me everything,” he said between his teeth controlling his rage. 

“I know nothing about what you’re saying and I’m thinking you're a lunatic,” all at once Ella got her things and stood up.

Justin also stood up, trying to block her from leaving. “Oh no, you’re not leaving yet. How do you explain this?” he got his cell phone and scrolled down, looking through some photos until he found what he was looking for and showed it to her. 

Lots of pictures of him and her. Ella felt her blood flush out of her face. She was livid. There in his cell, there were lots of pictures of her with him, even wedding pictures. She didn’t know what to do, Justin was carefully observing her reaction to the pictures. The picture where she paid more attention showed him hugging her. He seemed so very much in love with her. Ella saw herself there. It was crazy, but it was herself. Besides the shorter hair, it was her. How could that be possible? She was staring at the picture with wide eyes. Ella started shaking. “I don’t understand. Where did you get these pictures? How can I be in these pictures? I didn’t even know you until yesterday! Is this some kind of prank?” she started looking around her suspiciously. “Is this a joke, right?” 

“Do I look like joking to you?” he said, menacingly closing the distance between them. 

Then she looked again at the picture, besides in some pictures she really could confuse to herself in others she clearly saw that woman wasn’t herself. Impossible to be herself. “That’s not me in those pictures. I don’t have those cold evil eyes, that’s not me!” she yelled at him. “ And if you hate her so much, why do you walk around with her photos in your phone? What kind of masochist creep are you?” slowly pacing backwards, Ella looked around the room and found the exit. “Look, If… If this has to do… Do it with my father… I know nothing about his business, so leave me alone,” Ella stuttered, putting her trembling hands in front of her trying to keep him away. Her face was panic-stricken. Once more she looked around, afraid there was someone else. Suddenly Ella started running towards her cabin, but Justin caught her midway and turned her around. She had tears in her eyes. “Get away from me! Leave me alone or I will start screaming for help!” she threatened him out of control. 

Seeing her so distraught and panicked, Justin let her go of her arms. She turned around and ran. He walked to the ship’s balustrade when his phone rang.

“Justin?” 

“George. Any news?” Justin asked without preamble. 

“Yes. I didn’t find too much on her, but I gathered a few details already.”

“Keep talking.” 

“Ok, let’s see… Ella Dawson, thirty-four years old, one younger sister, mother, father is dead, I couldn’t find much on her childhood, she lived her whole life in Tarrytown, NY. I even checked school records. She graduated software and web design. She works for Brooks & D’Angeli Tech.” 

“Didn’t you find anything else? Are you sure all this information is correct?” Justin asked anxiously.

“That’s what I got in such short notice, there are some gaps in her data, but they are accurate.” George sighed. “What’s going on Justin?”

“She looks awfully like Claire…” silence.

“I don’t think she’s Claire. She’s dead, man. But I’ll keep searching and as soon as I have more I’ll let you know.” 

“Thanks George, I appreciate it,” Justin disconnected and looked to the sea so calmly in front of him. He didn’t know what to do at this point. He decided to let things cool down a bit and look for her again in the evening. But a question remained unanswered. How could they both look so much alike? Justin noticed that Ella stayed in her cabin the whole morning just leaving around noon and taking herself to the other side of the ship. He knew she was trying to avoid him at all costs, but it wouldn’t work.