Email

It’s always hard to find out that a person you once considered a great friend has completely turned their back on you. Life is full of surprises, some good, some bad. From my experience the bad ones never seem to get easier, but you learn to except it, learn from it, and move on. That’s the only thing we can do, move on. At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening. Life has many ways of testing a persons will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything that happens at once. Stay away from people who can’t take the responsibility for their actions and who make you feel bad for being angry at them when they do you wrong.

As they always say, ‘sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person, it simply means that they are human.’ Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be...and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be someone’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nerves prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible right? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses you build up a whole suit of armor, so that noting can hurt you, then one stupid person no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day like kiss you are just smile at you, then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and makes you end up crying in the darkness, so simple like a phrase, ‘I think we should just be friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in your imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

I turned my head to look a the brunette lying down in my bed with her hair everywhere. I frowned at her. She is starting to have this effect on me. And what kills me even more is that there are two other people who are doing the same. I try and I try to push Skylar and Melanie away but it never works. So I push Layla away too. I want to be with her I admit that. She is a person I can trust and depend on, but there is just something stopping me. It’s like a force that is making me turn away from her. I’m not saying that I have to have someone to be happy, it’s just I want someone. So bad. I want someone there when I want to cry my eyes out and kill someone, I want to be able to tell them why I feel that why without having the feeling they might leave me. I sighed as I grabbed my computer off of the small desk that was next to my bed. Before last night I did get a notification on my phone about someone emailing me, of course, I didn’t get to see the email, but the address looked familiar. I sat it on my lap and opened it. The screen lit up with a picture of my mom and I when I was ten. I smiled at the picture and opened it up to my emails.

There were about 75 un-opened mails. I do check them its just mostly it about some dumb crap I absolutely don’t care about. I went up to my most recent and kept scrolling until I saw the email. And let me just say the address was familiar, really familiar. I closed my eyes and kind of choked on a sigh. Or at least I think it was a sigh, it as probably me trying to hold back from crying. I slowly clicked on the mail and it opened.

“I have this constant fear that I am never going to forget you. The way your brown eyes pierced through mine, or how your goofy grin always made my heart beat ten times faster. And what sucks the most is that it is my fault on why I don’t have that anymore. But I fell hopelessly in love with you, its been eight years and I can’t forget you. And in the middle of the night when everything is quiet and everyone is asleep I think about you. Even if I don’t realize it, you find your way back into my memory to the point it makes me sick to my stomach and I can’t breathe because I don’t want to love you anymore. And it sucks because I thought I was forgetting you. I was finally happy. And then the memory of you comes back, and I’m sitting in the corner of my room tears pouring down my face and my throat burns because I’m screaming to the ceiling begging myself to forget you. But I can’t. And I’m dying. I miss you. And I want to see you. Please let me for I can get my closure.”

By the end of me reading that I had tears falling down my face. I guess I was sobbing because Layla woke up immediately and had a worried look on her face. She lazily sat up and started to hug me. I was now wrapped in her arms and we were rocking back and forth. She started shushing me and while rubbing my hair and just let me cry. After a while my sobbing stopped and she pulled me out of her embrace and looked at me. She wiped my face then put on a reassuring smile. “Don’t ever leave me.” The words came out of my mouth before I could understand them. She looked at me confused until another tear left my face.

“I wont leave you, I promise.” That’s what everybody says, and then they leave. “Your afraid.” She softly said. “But that’s what life is. There are bad surprises yes, awful surprises sometimes but what’s makes the good surprises so good is that they are unexpected." I just gave myself a whole speech, don't need another. I sighed as I laid back into her arms. We stayed like that for another half an hour, I knew I was late for work but I really didn't care.

Amy actually contacted me.

*********

I walked into my office and sat all of my things down on my desk. Surprisingly no one told me that Skylar asked for me which was quite nice considering the fact that the 'fun' is supposed to start today. I still don't know what that means and I don't want to know. Today I am not in the mood for bullshit especially from Skylar.

When I was thirteen I thought I had my life planned out. I wanted to be a lawyer or teacher. I would go to college then possibly law school. I knew it would cost a lot of money so I started saving up since I was eleven. But everytime I got money my mother would ask for some then I would be left broke. About time I was fourteen I realized I was a kid and I needed to start acting like one. There was no point of saving all my money because I knew I would have to do that once I got older. So I thought I minus well just blow all my money while I can.

It was fun.

I went to the mall constantly. I remember the first time I ordered off of Amazon. I mean, I wasn't very impressed with what I got but whatever. Then I started ordering food offline. If you don't already know I love chicken Alfredo. I mean, you can't go wrong with it. Well in my case you can. Everytime I try and cook it, it comes out like shit.

I sat in my chair behind my desk and put both of my hands under my chin. I didn't want to cry at work because I would be crying over nothing. She actually contacted me. After all this time. I have dreamed of this moment and now that its here I don't want it.

My office door opened causing me to look up. Nate stood there and was about to say something snarky until he saw my face. His face lightened as he closed the door and came closer to me. "Hey wassup?" He sat in the chair that was opposite of mine. I didn't want to answer him, I didn't want to answer anybody. But there was that small voice in the back of my head telling me I need to let it out. And considering the fact that Nate is the only person who knows about Amy he minus well be the one.

I took out my phone and showed him the email. I watched his face as he read it. It changed from confusion to anger to sorrow. He then handed me back my phone and stared at me. He then proceed to say something that I wasn't expecting. "So what are you planning on doing?" I was surprised by this because usually I would think that anyone would say 'you should talk to her' or 'just ignore her' but he asked me what I'm going to do instead of giving me his opinion.

I smiled a little at the thought and shrugged my shoulders. "I honestly don't know. I definitely don't want to say anything back...I think. Hell I don't know. Everything is already complicated in my life right now and I don't need her in it. I don't want her in it." Nate nodded his head in understanding.

"What's going on in your life that is complicated?" I opened my mouth then closed it. Although I do trust Nate more than I would like to admit, I don't think this situation is any of his business. Him telling someone could effect so many people. So I would rather just handle it myself. And knowing him he would just tell me how stupid and lucky I am.

"Nothing really other than the whole Layla thing."

"Well if your asking me, I think you and Layla would make an awesome couple. You guys are just alike." I chuckled.

"That's the problem, we are just alike. She likes sex and so do I. I mean I don't want to hold her on not doing what she likes with other people."

"Have you ever asked her about it?"

"Yeah I have." He narrowed his eyes at me. "What?"

"I'm asking have you guys ever talked about it. Not you telling her what you think, but what she feels about it." I scrapped my brain for any trace of her talking about giving up sleeping with people for me.

"Damn it." Nate then proceeded to have a giant smile on his face. "Screw you Mr. Cocky." We both laughed. My office phone then started ringing making me answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey May, someone is here to see you."

"Who?" There was a moment of silence.

"Someone named Layla." I smiled.

"Send her up." I hung up the phone and looked at Nate.

"Who was it?"

"Kate. Layla is here." Right when I said that the beautiful lovely brunette walked into the room.

"Hi beautiful." My smile grew wider.

"Hi to you too." Nate said. I rolled my eyes.

"No offence but I think that beautiful was directed to me." Nate sighed. We all chuckled as I brought Layla into a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Well you didn't see that happy this morning so I just came to check up on you." I smiled. Before I could answer the devils voice came.

"Well I hate to break up this reunion but I need to steal Ms. Cooper for a while. We have a meeting." I didn't even look at her.

"Well I guess I'll be going." I sighed.

"But you just got here." I leaned my head on her shoulder. I heard a little sigh of annoyance come from Skylar but I ignored it.

"I'll be by to pick you up when you get off work." I sat my head up and smiled.

"Okay." I kissed her goodbye and she left, and so did Nate. I walked out of my office towards the conference room to avoid Skylar which I should know by now is highly impossible.

I felt a tug on my arm and my back hitting a hard surface. I was on the wall and Skylar was hovering over me. I looked around and saw no one in sight. "Skylar someone could see us." I said without making eye contact. She took my chin and forced me to look at her.

"Trust me. No one will say anything if they want to keep there jobs." And with that said she kissed me. My head was pushed on the wall and her body was pressed up against mine. Her hands started roaming my body making my insides tingle. One of her hands made their way up to my hair and pulled it making me moan into her mouth. "From now on, if you ever reject me there will be a consequence." She whispered into my ear.

She backed away and pulled me with her and then straightened my hair. We then made our way towards the conference room like nothing happened. On the way there Skylar kept looking at me making my suspension on what she's thinking about grow more. I didn't show that I was uncomfortable though, one thing I am glad to say is that I always did have this power of keeping a straight face in the most weirdest moments.

We walked into the conference room and saw everyone stand up. Skylar put on her shiny smile and we started the meeting.

*******

I don't know how the fuck this escalated so damn fast but I am fucking pissed. The meeting started off fine with us talking about the new jewelry that Skylar came up with. There were about twelve other people in this room and they all agreed with her. Mainly because they are all scared of her. I'm pretty sure there's at least two people in this room who are in a higher rank than her. Anyways somehow the conversation ended up with us talking about kids which of course I don't mind, but I do tend to mind when people say a adoptive parent isn't really the childs parent.

So anyways, this is where we are.

"When a person decides to adopt a child its because they want them. They raise them to become the person that they are. I have friends who have adopted their kids since they were born and they are amazing children! They have even met their birth mother and still call the person who raised them their mother! It doesn't fucking matter who gave birth to who it matters who raised that person! I myself plan to adopt when I turn thirty two. I have had that plan in my head since I was fourteen! Now I would like for you to stand up in the gym of a school and tell those kids that if they adopt a child it will never be actually be theirs!"

Like I said.

I am pissed.

Everyone sat there are stared at me but I didn't back down. I have no doubt they probably think I'm crazy but that's their problem not mine. Skylar on the other hand looked like she was eye fucking me. "Well that concludes this meeting." And with that said she yanked my arm and pulled me out of the room. Once we were out she put her hand behind my back and shoved me towards the elevator.

Once we in and the elevator doors closed I turned to face Skylar. "If You think for one second that I am going to apologize-"

"Shut up." I looked at her confused.

"Well for your information just incase you think that-" she pushed me on the wall and growled.

"I am taking you back to my office for I can fuck the shit out of you. What I just saw in there turned me on to levels I didn't even know I had. So unless you want to be fucked in a elevator where people can hear you rather than my soundproof office, I advise you to shut up." My mouth was wide open.

The elevator doors opened and she pushed me out of the door. We passed the few people that were on the top floor and went into her office where she proceeded to close and lock the door. Once that was done she pushed me on the doors and kissed me roughly. I accidentally moaned making her arousal grow even more.

Within no time both of our clothes were off and she is on top of me on the couch in her office. Her fingers continued to assault my vagina while her mouth sucked on my right nipple. I screamed as I came down from the third orgasm. "I'm not doing you." I said out of breath. Her kisses moved up to my body until they were at my neck.

"And why is that?" She asked while nibbling on my ear making me sigh in content.

"Because that will mean I submit to you which is not happening." She did her little evil chuckle.

"Oh sweetheart. You say that like you have a choice."