[2 Starting Anew]

Starting a new life was never an easy thing, but I had no other options. At least this was much better than staying in New York and had to meet that jerk. With all the savings I had, I could rent a cheap apartment room downtown that belonged to Jeanette, Matt’s cousin. I believed I could also survive for a month without a job while applying for a new one. Right, I hadn’t had the chance to apply for any jobs back when I was in New York since moving to this place was a sudden decision.

It had been two weeks and there was still no call from the companies where I’d applied for a secretary position. Jeanette helped me in any way she could and kept psychologically supporting me after hearing what I’d been through. She was ten years older than me, not yet married, but absolutely a wife-and-mother-material woman. I admired her entire personality.

“Bianca, would you come with me to the grocery store? It’s time to stuff the fridge with everything we need for the next month,” Jeanette came out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around her shoulder.

I stopped browsing the job listing webpage and said, “Yeah, sure. I’m ready to go. Just tell me when you’re finished,” I referred to her appearance now.

She chuckled. “Of course. I wouldn’t go out looking like this,” she pointed at her body. “Give me five minutes.”

“Take your time,” I said.

Living with Jeanette made me feel secure, but it didn’t mean I could always lean on her. That’s so not me and I knew how it felt to carry burdens. Sooner or later I also needed to help provide for my family because Dad’s retirement could be anytime soon -- I couldn’t remember exactly when, though. Well, I still couldn’t forgive him completely for what he’d done in the past to the three of us in the family, but at least with his recent behavioral changes, my heart turned softer towards him. Even though he had his pension because he worked for the government, I somehow wanted to do a little bit more for my parents, especially Mom.

As I turned off my laptop and put it back into its case, Jeanette showed up with a nice-looking basic dress. Probably being single made her youthfulness stay and affected the way she dressed. I sometimes wondered why she was still single.

“You don’t forget your purse, do you?” I reminded her of a single flaw she had. The first time I met her, she left her purse at home and I had to pay for her parking ticket at the airport and also lunch. It didn’t matter compared to what she’d done for me, though.

She patted on her small bag clung across her chest. “Thank you for reminding me, anyway,” she said. “Come on.”

With Jeanette’s car, we went to the nearest grocery store. She said the reason why she always went to this small grocery store was that she liked the owner. Not because he looked handsome -- this man wasn’t single anyway -- but because he had helped her family in a car accident years ago.

While my life had been full of a series of misfortune, her life was completely the opposite of mine. Though I just knew her, she had told me a lot of things in her life. Through the course of time, she almost always experienced good things, or she could get the best out of every unfortunate event. Now I became even more convinced that life was unfair. Meh.

As we arrived at the store, people started looking at me. I knew it was because of my outfit. Since the terrible moment with that jerk, I couldn’t dress the way I did. I always covered my body with a long-sleeved shirt or hoodie and a pair of trousers even though it was summer.

Jeanette gave me a light push and whispered, “Don’t mind them.”

I smiled at her and felt at ease. I believed I would always be safe as long as she was with me.

“Hello, Jean and who is this?” The man Jeanette told about greeted as we put the cart full of groceries on the cashier table.

“Tom, it’s my roommate, Bianca,” she introduced me to him.

He extended his hand but I didn’t think I was able to touch any man right now. I wasn’t ready. Instead of shaking his hand, I said, “Hi. Nice to meet you. Bianca told me about your kindness.”

Tom felt awkward, I could tell, but he took it easy by registering a smile on his face. “Nice to meet you too,” he only said that without asking the reason why I ignored his stretched hand. He scanned everything in the cart and put them all in two paper bags that Jeanette brought. “It’s all thirty-seven bucks.”

Jeanette put four ten buck notes on the table and received the change. “Thanks, Tom,” she said.

I took one of the paper bags and smiled at Tom.

“Thanks, you two. See you again,” Tom waved and we made our way out of the store, letting the next customers pay their groceries.

We put the paper bags in the back seat of her black Ford limo and then hopped into the front seats.

“Do you wanna grab a cup of coffee?” asked she.

I buckled my seatbelt and looked up to her. “Well, I would usually order a Matcha Latte instead of a coffee, so as long as Moonbucks or any other coffee stores have what I want, why not?” I agreed to go.

She giggled at my reply. “You’re totally completely similar to my ex,” she said but then quickly changed the topic remembering my problem related to that word ‘ex’. “I think I got some coupons for Friday’s orders. Buy one get one free! Does that sound good?”

I smiled and nodded at her statement.

Jeanette then stepped on the gas and drove us to one Moonbucks on Forbes street. It took us only five minutes to get there. We found a good place to park the car and then got off. The cafe wasn’t too crowded so we could sit anywhere we wanted after getting our orders.

“Hey Jeanette, was your ex the reason why you’re not yet married now? You don’t need to answer this question if you mind,” I couldn’t help but ask this question since she mentioned it some time ago.

She took a sip of her Caramel Macchiato and put the plastic cup back on the table. Her gaze went down at first, but then she looked at me. “Since I know your story, I think it’s fair if you know my story too,” she said.

“You’re sure? You don’t need to force it. I’m okay if you don’t tell me,” again I asked her to be sure of her decision.

“Yeah, I am,” she convinced me. Both of her hands were on the table and her fingers were entwined. “He died due to a car crash.”

I gulped. “Was it that car crash?” I referred to the one she told me earlier, related to Tom’s help.

She nodded. “We broke up but we were good friends. That day he invited me and my parents to come to his family’s new restaurant. He was driving and I was sitting on his side while my parents were in the back seat,” she paused and took a breath for some moment. “From my friends’ story, he was about to propose to me. But before he had a chance, he--”

I touched her hands. “You don’t need to continue, Jean. It’s enough,” I stopped her from telling me more. I could already see her watery eyes but she tried to manage a smile.

“I’m sorry. I’m ruining this beautiful evening,” she chuckled and wiped her eyes before tears could fall.

“No, you’re not. Trust me,” I convinced her. My question had been answered and I demanded to know nothing more. “As a matter of fact, I’m thankful that you opened up to me. I truly appreciate it.”

Jeanette nodded repeatedly. “We’re even now,” she grinned.

“No, we’re not. I need to get you a red velvet cake first. You need something sweet as you are. Wait for me here, okay?”

“That sounds cringy, you know?”

I realized that she was right then we both laughed. “Alright, alright. Just wait for me, please. I’ll be right back,” I said then headed to the order counter.

“What would you like to order?” asked one of the female cashiers.

“One red velvet loaf, please,” my voice sounded like being echoed. Apparently, the guy next to me ordered the same thing. I spontaneously turned to him and found him looking at me also.

“We’re sorry, there is only one red velvet left,” the other cashier told me and that guy.

I was sure enough that Jeanette wouldn’t mind another cake, so I said to both cashiers, “He can have it.” Besides, I didn’t want to deal with any guys at all.

The guy thanked me and I nodded briefly to him. Then I ordered a chocolate cake and paid for it before returning to my table.

“What happened back there?” asked Jeanette who seemed to have witnessed it.

I told her everything and she giggled. “Wow, you gave up the red velvet very easily,” she teased me.

“Red velvet and chocolate cake taste similar, don’t they? They would be digested in your stomach and become shit later, after all,” I unconsciously let out my thoughts and regretted it by showing my teeth. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

She stared at me sadly, making me super guilty until she suddenly chuckled. “Goodness, look at your face. You looked scared,” she said. “You think I would be offended just because of that? I’m a mature woman.”

I sighed, feeling relieved. I didn’t need any more enemies in my life. Losing such a kind person like her would be the dumbest thing I’d do.

“Ahem,” somebody appeared next to our table. “I don’t think it’s right for me to take this from a girl.” He put a small paper bag on the table.

Both Jeanette and I looked up and found the same guy I met at the cashier standing with a smiling face.

“Thank you, anyway, for letting me have it,” he said again.

“Um, but, uh, my friend didn’t mind getting, um, a chocolate cake,” I stuttered and didn’t know why I did.

Jeanette also nodded in confirmation as he turned to her. “Yes, it’s okay. You can have it,” she supported my statement.

He smiled, showing a dimple on his left cheek. “No. I still want to give it to you. Besides, you’re not eating anything now, are you?” he pushed the paper bag closer to me. “Let’s just say, it’s a sweet gift from me to you.”

A sweet gift? Something felt not right here. The situation became awkward for some moment but then Jeanette’s laughter broke the ice, making both the guy and I also laugh.

“Sorry, I meant to say a small gift, not a sweet gift,” he corrected himself and scratched his right temple.

“They’re two different words, you know,” Jeanette laughed even more. “You’re not trying to flirt with her, are you?”

The guy shook his head and wiggled his both hands. “No, no. Please don’t think so. I really didn’t--”

“Chill. I was just teasing you,” she cut him off and looked at him with amusement.

“Okay. You got me,” he replied. “So, I’m not gonna interrupt your girl session. I’d better get going now.”

I gave him a slight smile while Jeanette said thanks and goodbye to him.

“Oh hey,” I called out to him when I saw something fall from his pocket as he stepped away from us. I took that small box which was apparently a condom box.

His eyeballs nearly popped out from their place as he received it from my hand. “It’s not mine. My friend asked me to buy it,” he nervously stated.

It was strange to me but I just gave him a poker face look, even though seeing it made me shuddered with anger. It reminded me of the past in an instance. “You don’t need to explain it to me. I wouldn’t even care if it were yours,” I responded coldly.

I noticed a glimpse of disappointment through his eyes and all he said was, “Thanks.”

I turned my body and sat again while he walked away.

“Shoot. You made him upset, you know that?” Jeanette commented. “I think you need to be careful about the way you express things. Try to control your emotions.”

There was nothing wrong with her statement but I somehow couldn’t accept it. “Can we go home now?” Instead of expressing what I was feeling, I chose to request that we leave Moonbucks.

“Alright. I need to work on something too at home, after all,” Jeanette stood up, leaving her empty coffee cup and taking the paper bag instead. She walked out of the building and I tailed her from behind.