Chapter 22

The last time Uncle got mad at me was when Anthony and I went to the playground to play that caused an almost accident. An accident that could have killed Anthony, I still blame myself sometimes but as I grew up, natutunan ko kung paano patawarin ang aking sarili.

Uncle provided me everything I have now and I'll be forever grateful because of that. Kung hindi dahil sa kanya siguro ay wala ako sa lugar ko ngayon, kahit na wala na ang mga magulang ko ay nandyan naman si Uncle Bern na ang turing sa akin ay tunay na anak.

I wanted him to be proud of me kaya I did my best to excel in everything I chose Business Law because of him too. Hindi nya naman sinabi sa akin kung ano ang dapat kung kunin at kailanman ay hindi kami diniktahan ni Uncle sa mga desisyon namin ni Anthony.

Naging supportive si Uncle Bern sa lahat ng bagay na ginagawa namin ni Anthony minsan nga eh sa tingin namin ay masyado syang naging supportive but we're not complaining, in fact, we love it.

Uncle Bern is a tough man, hindi man sya laging nagku-kuwento tungkol sa ama ko pero alam kong masyadong nalungkot si Uncle noong mamatay ang kapatid nya. Minsan nga naisip ko hindi na nakapag-asawa si Uncle dahil sa amin ni Anthony kasi masyado nyang binuhos ang oras nya sa pag-aalaga sa amin.

We used to joke about it. Anthony and I often tease him to go on blind dates because we're at the right age and we can now take care of ourselves. But Uncle only smiled at us and said, "I have you two. That's enough"

But there's something scary about him too, he never yells when he's angry the last time he did was during Anthony's almost accident, and most of the time he's just calm.

I think there are two types of people when they're angry: one, a volcano. Some people are just like volcanoes, they express their anger by a fit of rage, destroying things, and sometimes hard to calm down. They release their anger by outbursts, sometimes too hysterical. But when they realize they're wrong, they apologize and promise not to be angry again.

Second, the brewer. Ever tried brewing a coffee? What happens when you kept brewing coffee beyond a certain time?

It gets bitter, too bitter to drink, and cannot be sweetened with sugar or honey anymore. It's similar to a person. When a person holds onto negative emotions, these emotions keep on brewing. It makes the person bitter.

The longer they hold onto these negative emotions, the greater the bitterness. For me, the brewer is dangerous because they kept their waves of anger into the heart and unable for them to let go. Think of a fireplace, the wood-burning in it can warm up a whole house in cold nights but when misdirected it can burn a whole house.

Similarly, people who don't know how to handle their anger or emotional state, it can take a fiercer form.

And as of this moment, I don't know if Uncle Bern is a volcano or the brewer.

"I'm so disappointed on you, Skyla," he said it almost so quietly I could have missed it.

Anthony stayed quiet at the other side of Uncle Bern's office. Alam ko na may gusto syang sabihin pero he's holding himself back. We're inside Uncle Bern's personal office, he's sitting in his chair and looking at me with an expression I can't read.

Kung pwede lang maihi sa kinatatayuan ko ay kanina ko pa nagawa dahil sa takot. I'm scared of the things he's going to say next. I still don't know why I'm here. I wonder if this is about being MIA for almost a day and a half or something else?

"What were you doing with Ivo Moretti,?" is it possible to choke without eating?

"How did you--?" I asked almost breathless, "know about that?"

"Your behavior for the past weeks is concerning me, Skyla," he said calmly but his stare is intense. "Your burning curiosity will only put you to harm."

I clenched my fist, "I don't understand you, Uncle. Look, I know I didn't tell you guys where I was and I'm sorry. And Ivo --"

"I don't give a damn about you not telling us where you were but what I give a damn about was you were with Ivo Moretti and it's unacceptable!" Uncle Bern's voice boomed all over his office. Nice, now he's mad.

"Uncle, Ivo is actually a nice guy. Hindi naman ako nasaktan, di'ba? Look I'm whole and not even a scratch"

Umiling si Uncle, "Hindi mo alam kung anong klaseng tao ang mga Moretti, Skyla. You don't know their crimes and sins. Don't be fooled"

Alam kong hindi ko masyadong kilala si Ivo, heck, I don't know a thing about his family. Base sa mga narinig ko kay Sel noon at ngayon naman kay Uncle, karugtong na ata ng mga Moretti ang salitang krimen.

And I still haven't forgotten what happened that night, kung masamang tao nga si Ivo kagaya ng sinasabi ni Uncle and Sel, bakit hindi ako sinaktan ni Ivo? Why was he so nice to me?

Tumayo si Uncle mula sa kanyang pagkakaupo at naglakad patungo sa kinatatayuan ko, he then stood in front me, "I want you to stay away from him, Skyla."

I looked at Uncle Bern's eyes and stared at him, "Why?"

He raised his right hand to squeeze my left shoulder, "Just be a good girl and listen to me." he smiled, not his warm smile. This smile is a warning not to defy him.

"Why,?" matapang kong tanong ulit. I should probably shut up but I can't. I wanna know what his reasons are.

"Don't ask. Just go to your room," ani nya na para akong walong taong gulang na bata.

"Come on, Sky," ani ni Anthony, I hear him approaching but I didn't move. Nanatili akong nakatayo as I clenched both of my hands.

"Why?" I asked again, almost angrily. "Why can't I ask questions but you can? Why are you telling me to stay away from Ivo? Do you know him? Do you know his family? Do you have anything agai---" I didn't finish my sentence. Mabigat na kamay ni Uncle Bern naramdaman ko sa aking mukha.

Anthony was fast enough to hold me para hindi ako matumba. I could taste blood in my mouth and I was too shocked to say something. Ito ang unang beses na pinagbuhatan ako ng kamay ni Uncle Bern.

"Get her out of my sight, Anthony" his tone is dismissing.

Anthony held me as I walk, my knees feel weak, no, not just my knees but my whole body feels weak. Is this because of Uncle's slap? Naramdaman ko ang pagbasa ng pisnge ko. Hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na pala ako.

Anthony held and helped me sit down on my bed when I got inside my room. He kneeled in front of me and I only stared at him, wala sa sarili.

He squeezed my hand, "You should listen to him, Skyla" tumayo si Anthony at umupo sa tabi ko, "You don't know that guy. You don't know what he's capable of"

"Bakit alam mo? Do you know him, Anthony?" I asked, still staring at nothingness. When I finally looked at him, he clenched his jaw and smiled at me, "It doesn't matter. Just listen to us, okay?"

Hindi na ako sumagot sa mga sinabi ni Anthony siguro dahil sa sampal ni Uncle o kaya'y dahil rin na ayoko na makipag talo pa sa kanya.

"I'm going to rest. I'll see you tomorrow", tila may gusto pa syang sabihin pero he nodded and left the room.

I'm thankful for the silence as I closed my eyes I remembered the disapproving looks Uncle gave me. My instincts are telling me that there's more to his disapproving looks and warnings and I wonder what is that.

I gathered my stuff and noticed that a paper fell from my book, kinuha ko ito at tinignan. I bit my lower when I realized what it is. Ito ang papel na galing kay Megan kung saan nakasulat ang address nya.

Kung kanina ay sinabi ko sa kanya na hindi ako pupunta. Ngayon ay may rason na ako. I'm sure that her party won't be that bad, right? Besides I need some distraction. A lot of things happened today.

           
            Malayo pa lang ang sasakyan ko ay rinig ko na ang malakas na sigaw ng mga tao at ang musika. I made sure that Anthony and Uncle are sleeping when I left and if ever na nakita man nila ako ay hindi na nila ako pinigilan.

Wolves by Selena Gomez is playing when I parked my car in front of Megan's house. I can hear the loud music at ang tawanan ng mga tao sa paligid.

One of the reasons why I don't join school parties ay dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na this is not a scene I enjoy unlike my best friend, Alexavia. I see familiar faces as I walk to the front door and I can sense that some students are staring at me. Siguro ay dahil sa kilala ako ng ilan sa mga estudyante na nandito at ito ang unang pagkakataon na nakita nila ako sa mga parties.

Megan is notorious for hosting the biggest parties, it's a common knowledge and as they said it's a privilege to be invited by her. At sabi rin ng iba ay blessed ka kung si Megan mismo ang nag-invite sa iyo but I don't feel that way. Kaya lang ako nandito kasi I badly needed a distraction.

The house is full of familiar faces and some unfamiliar ones. May isang lalakeng nag-offer ng drink sa akin pero umiling lamang ako sa kanya, he muttered something but I didn't hear him because of the loud music.

I saw some students making out on the couch, I hear laughter and shouts from people on the right corner, they're playing body shots. I saw a girl from one of Alexavia's classes and she's enjoying what the guy is doing to her and I'm sure this will lead to something else later.

I turned to my left and saw Megan. Megan looks beautiful with her bodycon dress, it shows her collarbone and it fits perfectly. Her skin glows and she's standing close with a guy. And as if sensing me, she looked at my direction and I awkwardly waved at her.

She seemed surprised for a second but then smiled at me. She whispered something to the guy and left him, hindi ko kilala yung lalake dahil sa nakatalikod ito.

I don't know why but as Megan walk towards me ay hindi ko mapigilang ma-conscious sa suot ko. Heck, I didn't even change. I'm still wearing the same clothes na suot ko from school.

"Skyla, I'm so happy that you're here", ani niya at bumeso sa akin.

"Yeah," I say breathlessly. I'm so overwhelmed with the crowd and with Megan. And now, I regret coming here. I should have texted Alexavia first before I came here.

I don't know how to deal with situations like this and I don't know how to react around Megan, I'm really uncomfortable. This is not my scene but Megan's scene.

Megan gave me a glass, "You should take this. It might help kasi you look like you're going to pass out", she laughed.

It's a shot glass. Kung klaseng alak ang nasa loob nito ang hindi ko alam, "Megan, I don't dri---"

"Don't be silly, Skyla. It's not a party if you don't drink", she laughed again. I can smell the alcohol on her breath and I'm certain that nakarami na sya.

"Megan, alam mo nakarami ka na ata. Maybe you should take a rest?", she stared at me like a lost my damn mind and laughed hysterically. The people who are near where she and I are standing is looking at us with curiosity. My cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"OMG Skyla! You're funny.", dapat talaga ay hindi na ako pumunta dito. Ayokong maging source of entertainment ni Megan. I rolled my eyes at her and was about to leave when a familiar voice stopped me.

"Leaving so early, Skyla?", ani niya at sabay akbay kay Megan.

"Hi baaabeee," Megan purred at him, she tilted her neck to kiss him.

Kev Conti grinned at her and kissed her back. He was kissing her with his eyes open and staring at me. I can hear the sounds of pleasure that Megan makes and it takes a lot of effort from me not to puke in front of them.

It felt like an eternity when they finally stopped. Mas naging mukhang lasing ngayon si Megan dahil sa halik na natanggap nya mula kay Kev.

"Skyla, I didn't know na pumunta ka pala sa mga lugar na ganito," I can sense the teasing tone on his voice. Megan laughed at what he said.

"I know right? Kaya nga I'm so happy that she's here pero mukhang aalis na sya kararating nya palang", Megan pouted. I don't know why but I have this sudden feeling na gusto kong suntukin ang nguso nya.

"Actually, I just dropped by. Nahihiya kasi ako na Megan invited me tapos hindi man lang ako makakapunta? So I decided to check out you guys here", I lied smoothly and I did my best to smile sweetly at them, "Pero I have to go kasi I still have to visit Alexavia because she's sick."

"Oh," Megan say, "Tell her get well soon," Megan said genuinely that it stunned me. Dahil ba ito sa alcohol?

"Thanks," I smiled at her, "Have fun night guys", I was about to leave when Kev stopped me again.

"Don't be so disrespectful, Skyla. At least have a drink first," Kev handed me the shot glass. I only stared at him and I know na lasing na rin sya. His bloodshot eyes tell me that gumamit sya ng pinagbabawal na gamot.

Kung tatangihan ko ito ay paniguradong kukulitin lang ako nito so I took the glass from him and he smiled triumphantly at me, "Good girl," hindi ko pinansin ang komento nya at diretsong ininom ang alak. I can hear Megan cheering for me

I wiped the remains with the back of my hand and smiled at him, "Happy now?", I said sarcastically.

"Ecstatic," he grinned at me. I rolled my eyes at him and left. Ramdam ko ang tingin nya sa akin habang paalis na ako ng bahay ni, Megan.

I'm so happy na hindi na ako muling pigilan ni Kev at Megan. Pinagsisihan ko ang pagpunta ko dito. Sana pala ay sa ibang lugar nalang ako nagpalipas ng sama ng loob.

As I approach my car, I can feel the rise in my temperature. Everything is spinning around me and I feel like I'm floating. I almost laughed at my own thoughts.

I feel sick, my head hurts, my stomach feels weird and my body feels heavy for an unknown reason. Dahil ba ito sa alcohol? Ganoon ba kahina ang katawan ko? Shit, I'll never drink again. Never again.

I stumbled to the corner, everything hurts. I heard footsteps and a hand on my forehead. Gusto kong tinignan kung sino ang taong ito pero hindi ko magawa dahil wala na akong lakas.

"Ah, look at you so helpless". My eyesight blurred, but not because tears were welling up but because everything became fuzzy; then I saw nothing at all, nothing but black.  

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