Remember to breathe

Chapter 1

Ah. It happened again, didn’t it? I really thought I had died this time. I remembered it all so vividly. The last step I took while taking in the beautiful skyline I would never see again. The way the world looked as I fell towards the screaming people bellow. The icy wind ripping through my wavy ginger hair. The fear, sadness, happiness and relief I felt. And my smile as I said my last words, ‘It’s finally all ending, I’ll see you soon le-’ 

Yet here I was breathing in and out. The only proof that my insignificant existence was still alive. I guess life wasn’t done with its cruel game yet. But now my secrets are out. Everyone would have probably seen the burns, bruises and knife scratches that couldn’t of been caused by the fall. All the abuse I had endured for years was finally out in the open. 

I wondered what would happen to me now. Not that it mattered, whoever I went to everyone was all the same. Promising to be there for you but being the first to leave. Manipulating you for their needs then throwing you out once they’re done. I use to be angry about this but now I had learnt to accept it. In a world like this it was better to isolate yourself from others, then it would be impossible to get hurt.

I opened my eyes to see a unfamiliar ceiling.  Where was I? I certainly wasn’t at home which was strange because every time I did a stunt like that usually that woman would find me and drag me home before things got out of hand. Then she would beat me until I was unconscious and leave me to die (which unfortunately I never did.)

I tried to sit up but I felt helpless and heavy. I couldn’t move my arms, my head or my body. I darted my eyes around the room trying to inspect my surroundings. After a few minutes of straining my eyes, I discovered I was in a hospital. 

The room was pristine clean and gloomy. The walls were a miserable grey. A typical hospital bed, IV and the often beeping of the various monitors. The pungent smell of hospital disinfect invading my nostrils. 

So I really was getting away from my crazy family. There’s no way the doctors wouldn’t suspect anything after seeing the state of my body, especially since I’m technically still a minor. Maybe I was finally free.

When I  could feel my body get a bit stronger, I sat up in the uncomfortable bed. On impulse my hand shot straight up to the throbbing area on my right temple.  I flinched at the pain of my newly opened wound. I wiped my forehead and saw that my fingers were stained with the crimson colour of blood. I could feel it travelling down the right side of my face, but I decided to ignore it. It’s not like I could do anything about it.

Instead I looked out the window. My eyes were attracted to a loud crowd of children. There was a nursery school across the road. I saw the cheerful faces of the laughing and shouting children below me. I smiled softly at them. I had always had a soft spot for young kids. They always had the most brightest smiles because they weren’t tainted by the harsh reality of life.

I remembered when I was young and reckless. I everything was filled with colour and life. Everything was easier back then. It was like a big whirlwind of happiness, sadness, the best moments and the worst. But those memories were just a blur of a life that a different me lived. Now everything was grey and dull. I was just the shell of a once happy child. I really do miss him.

My thoughts drifted away from the children when a stranger walked into my room. Sure, he was a tall, handsome, attractive stranger, but still a stranger. He glanced at me but then lost interest quickly and dragged a chair to the corner of the room then looked down at his phone.

 Call me crazy, but when you walk into a room of someone you don’t know, you at least introduce yourself, right? But this guy just walked in and didn’t even acknowledge my existence. For some reason this seemed to annoy me so I did what I did best. I stared at him until he noticed me. 

I did this to most people to get they’re attention considering if I ever wanted to say an opinion at home they’d probably beat me up, so instead I stared at them until it got annoying, then they would ask me want I wanted to say. It was kinda like a bad habit.

Soon he shifted as if he was annoyed under my intense stare. He sighed and ruffled his dark auburn brown hair.

“What do you want? If you want to say something, speak.” The stranger said arrogantly looking up. Quietly I sighed in satisfaction. I’d finally gotten his attention. Although I was quite puzzled to why it mattered to me so much.

“Who are you?” I asked boldly, intentionally ignoring his question. I was going to be asking all the questions.

“Alexander Lynn. What’s yours?” The stranger asked me. Looks like he was just as curious about me as I was about him.

“Bella” I replied, flashing him a goofy grin that had fooled many. He wouldn’t be any different.

“Bella who?” The man questioned. I thought for a minute before finally responding.

“Just Bella.” I would of told him my full name but that was the family name of the people I hated most in the world. But now I had a chance of a new life away from them. So I decided to disown that name. I probably wouldn’t need it anyway.

He looked at me just confusion and curiosity but decided not to ask me about it. “Ok Just Bella.” Then he looked down back his phone.

“Alex.” I said using the cute new nickname I had thought up for him.

“What did you just call me?” He said staring at me with his beautiful ocean blue eyes that seem to have flecks of emerald green in them. For a second I thought he was angry but then I saw that his normally pale cheeks were now a rosy pink. Then he looked down as if he was shy. I bursted out laughing. It looks like Mr Arrogant was actually a cute softy. 

I smile softly. I had decided that we were similar. He had all these walls up hiding who he really was. I wonder if I could break down any of those walls. Maybe I would stick around long enough to find out. 

“Are you blushing?” I laughed, barely getting my sentence out.

“No! It’s just that I haven’t ever had a nickname before.” He said stumbling over his words. 

“Really? Your face is totally red right now. It’s kinda cute.” I said to make him ever more flustered. This is to much fun!

“I’m definitely not cute! I’m anything but cute! How can you call a man cute?” He said turning impossibly more red. 

“Fine. You’re not cute Mr tough guy.” I don’t think this guy could handle anymore teasing for now. At least I got his weakness.

“Thank you. I have to say this wasn’t a very pleasant visit so I will be leaving now.”  He began to walk towards the door. Was he mad that I teased him a bit? I didn’t want him to leave yet.

“Wait Alex! Why did you come to see me?” I had been wondering about this. I didn’t have friends or family who cared for me so why would a complete stranger come and visit me?

“You’ll know soon enough. Just hurry up and get better then I’ll tell you. And don’t call me that!” I wasn’t satisfied with this answer. Why couldn’t I know? I knew that I was being very childish but I didn’t care! For some reason I didn’t like it when he kept secrets from me. Which was odd because I had only know this man for 10 minutes.

“I said I’d tell you when you were better which won’t be for another week.” He stated opening the door while looking back at me. Fine if he wasn’t going to tell me then I was going to play dirty!

“I am better! Look I’ll prove it!” I knew I was in a bad condition but I really wanted to know. Even if I was being stubborn. From how I felt I could probably only hold my body up for about a few minutes but it might be enough to convince him.

Now that I had motivation I tried to stand up. Once I stepped on the cold, white tiles, I instantly collapsed back on to my bed. There was a relentless pain that spread rapidly throughout my back and legs that were struggling to keep me up. It was as if my body had rejected my plan to prove Alex wrong. 

I groaned loudly at my pounding headache. I soon realised my vision was becoming blurry and I started to feel light headed. My mouth was filled with the disgusting salty metallic taste of my own blood. Maybe I had underestimated the damage of all the abuse and my fall. Oops.

Suddenly everything started spinning and the last thing I saw was Alex’s look of worry and panic across his face. Serves him right for not telling me. He started shouting something that I couldn’t quite hear because all the beeping monitors were ringing in my ears. I could feel myself falling but before I crashed to the ground Alex caught me. 

When he did I felt an eruption of emotion coming from my chest. We looked into each other’s eyes and it was like there was nobody else in the universe accept us. I didn’t recognise this strange feeling but I made a silent promise with myself I was definitely going to find out. Alex said something to me with an anxious look on his face, but once again I couldn’t  hear him so instead I tried to say something reassuring, but all that came out was what I actually wanted to say to him.

“How unfortunate. I would have loved to make you blush again.” I weakly laughed with my first real smile in years.

Then then everything went black.