Chapter 44: Getting Complicated

I got along very well with Steven. We had breakfast together every day and had lunch together after school. We talked about our lives over the past eight years, as well as his work which he was currently doing. I was casual when I was with him and forgot what I had said or what he had said.

Perhaps, thanks to the help of Steven, who assisted with Jonathan’s business, things were much better at home. Jonathan was certainly home every night, sometimes reading the newspaper, sometimes smoking, sometimes even in a daze.

I doubted seriously whether his new lover had been abandoned by him again! But it seemed to be none of my business. That evening, it was not until eight o 'clock that Steven took me home as usual.

When I reached the door, I pulled him and said, "I don't want to go back."

"What's the matter? Unhappy?” he asked.

"Why does he make you bring me back at eight o 'clock every day and you obey it strictly?” I asked Steven.

“Do you have to do whatever he says?" I asked Steven.

"Since I have promised, I will do it," he replied

I was just unwilling to return to the dull, narrow room, listening to the sound of the door opening or his footsteps resounding in the hall. I wanted to leave and live a life without him, but I still wanted revenge.

Besides, I hated the way he controlled our lives, especially Steven’s submissive attitude towards him.

"Desiree!” Steven laid his hands on my shoulders gently and said, "You don't always see him that way he is kind to you. While I'm in America, I heard that he treated you as his own daughter.

"When I came back, he told me you were in a bad mood and let me spend more time with you. There may be some misunderstanding between you... " he said.

“Would you mind not mentioning him? I don't want to hear about him!” I told Steven abruptly.

"Alright!” he agreed.

Steven's hands gradually moved to my face, they were soft, gentle, and comfortable. Totally different from Jonathan's hands, which were annoying and unbearable. From Steven’s eyes, I predicted his next action quickly, so I lowered my face to avoid his kiss.

He didn’t force me, just left a gentle kiss on my forehead, holding me gently in his arms. He said softly: "I know you haven’t forgotten that man, but I can wait, until you forget him, step by step."

If it was Jonathan, he would have put one hand on my waist and the other on my back, kissing me until I gave in and responded. Or he would say, you should only think about me, no other men. Then he would occupy my thoughts so that I had no time to consider other things.

Steven's hatred didn’t get to me. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Then I'll be back and will see you tomorrow," said Steven, then I waved goodbye to him. He waved back with a smile. His eyes were as glorious and bright as the stars in the sky. Unlike Jonathan, he had a pair of deep eyes as boundless as the sea.

When I got home, Jonathan came down the stairs as I was going upstairs. "I'm back," I called out. As I looked down and passed by, I heard him say coldly, "If you two want to be intimate, please go to the hotel and order a room, don’t do that in front of the gate.”

"I see, next time I will, " I said.

“You!" he suddenly grasped my arms, and the more I tried to break free, the tighter he gripped me. Finally, he locked my hands behind my back and constrained me in his arms, leaving me no room to struggle. I could only look at him resentfully, spotting his violently stirred chest and the flames in his eyes.

When he kissed me, my heart almost stopped beating, I was shocked. The moment our lips touched, I tried to shun his kiss, but he would always capture my lips, crazily. As if I was completely in a nightmare. I couldn't tell what was real.

I couldn't tell whether him abandoning me was a dream, or whether that kiss was a dream. “Could he fool me in this way?” I thought. Fortunately, the kiss ended as suddenly as it happened. He pushed me away and stepped back in a bit of panic.

I combed my messy hair and closed two buttonholes that had been undone while he was dragging me, then I calmed my breathing.

"May I ask what you are determined to do?" I said. Then, he said something I hadn't thought to understand all night. "I want to keep you by my side, even if you hate me and may never forgive me your entire life, I still want to make your impossible wish come true, that you stay with me," was his reply.

I stood there and forgot to breathe. I began to envy the flower god and the leaf god, who never met each other but were born from the same root with their hearts close to one another.

“What were we?” I pondered. We saw each other every day, I faced the one I love but had to control my emotions.