SafeZone

I feel small, but safe.   Something that hardly ever happens to me. A small confined space is comforting, it's where I can let it all out. It surprises me, that being claustrophobic is an actual thing. I can't ever imagine a thing that keeps me sane, driving someone else insane! It seems cruel to allow another person to suffer, from something another needs to survive from.   I cradled myself in the small corner, in my bedroom, of my closet. Just trying to breath, to survive, to grab a hold onto my new reality. My horrible reality. The losses and challenges I have to deal with now, all alone. I did this to myself...   My breathe hitched, just as the door to my room opened. Heavy footsteps were near, searching around the room. Whatever safety I felt disappeared, only to be replaced with anxiousness. Bricks began to form above my chest and s

Blowing over the hot steam from this brownish mug, I looked over at Parker, and slid him the mug. "Hot chocolate, just the way you like it Parks." I said, calling him by his nickname. He rolled his eyes, and mumbled a thank you. Parker always hates it when I call him Parks. "Anytime." I smiled, sitting beside him. He raised a brow, pausing before taking a sip, looking into my Hazel eyes, then at my empty hands. "Where's your cup, lia ?" I could tell he was already worrying over me. I shrugged, laying my head down.    As I laid my head down, I felt somethin

*RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG*    The door slammed shut behind us, as the school bell rang. "Well shit, I guess we weren't on time after all.." Parker muttered rose himself. As the students began to clear the calls, the VP spotted me, I tried to swiftly turn around and sprint to my locker, but the grey haired witch stopped me. "Why, isn't it Miss Amelia Williams, finally here to join us?" She crossed her arms, wearing this tacky navy cardigan. She basically looked like your neighbourhood crazy cat lady. "Yes Mrs. Chu?"

    Theo...? My gaze looked down at the grave, I remember the funeral and everything, this was his grave. Looking down at the headstone above the dewy grass, his name wasn't there anymore. I can't even remember walking here. The grass around me swept me in, my legs fell beneath me. Everything from my waist and below was sunken deep into the earth. A cold feeling spread across my lower body, the bricks began to form over my chest suffocating me. Is this what quick sand feels like?, is this what death feels like? I've had panic attacks before, but this felt as if my body was shutting down. It can't be a dream, I was just at school, I swear I heard someone call for Theo. "Theo, why isn't his grave here? Where is he? Why couldn't it have been me and not him? It was all my fault. He didn't deserve this, he choose to save me, I'm nothing but a mess, he had a future, he had a chance. This isn't fair." The words echoed around my mind, as the suffocating feeling