1. First and Forever

Sarah

"I was sacked".

"What?!"

"Yes. Johanson told me that I was not needed anymore". 

"Wait up, I am coming over".

I shoved the phone under the pillow and took another swig from the canned beer. My life couldn't take a more dramatic turn. Even two days ago, I was a well-paid manager of a thriving Hollywood actor. Two days later, I am an unemployed woman daring to continue my stay in LA in one of the poshest apartments. I looked blearily around the room, cigarette butts scattered on the bed, about four cans of beer rolling on the floor - wow, I have drunk a lot. That will be a pain in my backside tomorrow, I have a very low tolerance for alcohol, my clothes were scattered everywhere, I was also wearing the same clothes from the morning. In other words, my life was a pile of garbage now. 

The doorbell rang, bringing me out of my self-pity party. I stumbled out of my bed and managed to walk up to the door and open it. I was sure it was Freya, my colleague, and only friend in LA. "Hey" I slurred. "Oh no, you don't get to 'hey' me. I am super pissed at you right now"  she grumbled as she passed me by and went to my room. "Who isn't?" I muttered under my breath as I closed the door. 

"Geez, Sara, you are living among a shit ton of garbage" She shook her head as she took in the view. She turned around to look at me in dismay, "You go sit on the couch and I will clean this up". 

"But-" she held up her hand. "No buts, Here" she cleaned the space on the couch and went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of chilled water, handing it to me she said, "Drink this and sit there like a good girl. Then you get some actual food inside your body, after that, you are telling me everything".

I mock saluted her, "Aye aye Cap'n". She simply glared at me. I took my seat on the couch and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I saw that my room was clean and the smell of spaghetti and meatballs wafted into the room from the kitchen. Did I actually have those ingredients to make them? Maybe Freya made a detour to the convenience store. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, then looked at the clock. It was 12.AM. What?!

I got off the couch and padded towards the kitchen "Freya?"

"Ah, she awakes! I have cooked. Take a seat". She smiled and went back to stirring the curry. "I smell meatballs and spaghetti," I said, still standing at the doorway. Drinking the cold water and sleeping had helped, I somehow did not feel like shit nor was there any life-threatening headache. So, I felt okay.

"I went to the store". she replied, confirming my assumption.

I gaped at her for some time, how did I get lucky in the friends' department? I mean, she did not have to do so much yet here she was cooking at midnight. Every time I feel low, she comes as my knight in shining armor. "Oi! where did you go? Come back to Earth and seat your arse on the barstool". She chided before starting to serve the food. I obliged.

We ate in silence. After I did the dishes, we went and sat on my bed. "I feel a lot better," I told her with a smile. She reflected the gesture, "I am glad. But now tell me..." I sighed. No point in dawdling. 

"So remember how I told you that our agency has had a row with Cole Johanson?" she nodded but remained quiet. "I kind of started walking on two bridges from then. On the one hand, Cole wanted me to stay as his manager and end things with my agency and on the other hand, my boss wanted me to quit being Cole's manager. Now you see, I can't seem to do injustice to either of them. Cole has been nothing but a gentleman and professional with me and my agency provided me with this job when I was practically a jobless person. Well, partly thanks to you. I tried to tell both of them. Cole tried to keep me by saying he would pay double but I sort of declined and then when I went to his house today morning, he fired me". 

I did not know when I had started crying until Freya hugged me and ran a soothing hand up and down my back. "My agency doesn't know. If they do, I might get fired from there as well. What am I going to do?" I mumbled feeling helplessness consume me.

"Nothing will happen, you don't worry. We will think of something," she assured me. You see that is why I admire this woman. She has been a pillar of support for as long as I have lived here. She used to work in my previous office. At that time I worked as a receptionist in her agency. It was she who had made it possible for me to get a job in another agency and as a manager of an actor. I am eternally grateful to her. 

"Do you have enough money to get by for a few days?" She asked, concern lacing her tone. I nodded. "Good, now go back to sleep while I make some important calls" she pecked on my forehead and left the room. 

I lay down, my mind wandering and chalking up different possibilities due to this turn of events. What if I lose this job? Will I have to leave LA? and if I do, will I ever be able to meet him? Meet Xavier?

My heart clenched at the thought. Even though I actively avoided mentioning him to anyone, I always yearned for him. I never follow any news about him though, because if I do I am bound to hear some unwanted things which will be pretty bad for my heart. He seems so unreachable now, like a true star. Whenever I catch a glimpse of him on TV or online or the daily newspaper, my heart skips a beat. It always did, it has always been like that with him. I remember the last time we had dinner together before I left. His face bright and carefree, his eyes twinkling as he narrated all the happenings of that particular day. We were happy but he needed to be successful. 

A lone tear fell, seeping into the pillow. I missed him so much, like a missing limb. However, now he seems happier. Maybe he doesn't even remember me but I will always remember him even if I leave LA and go far away from him. He will always be my first and forever.