Chapter 8: "Rainforest-Mode"

  For several moments, there was naught but silence as Dillon thought things through. Tony could almost make out the gears as they turned in his adorable head. It was stressful to wait for his reaction. He prayed the kid would be able to forgive him for his lies. Hopefully, if he gave the truth now, he would still be able to retain some of his trust. Not that he deserved it. The amount of lies Tony had told, either by omission or directly, troubled him. He couldn't allow himself to become a liar. If he did, it would slowly poison and erode at their bond until there was nothing left. A future without Dillon in it wasn't a future. 

  "I'd wondered for a while what happened there," Dillon said softly as he reached out and lightly traced the scar with his thumb. "So it was yer brother's dealer, I assume? M'sorry you went through that… fuck. To think you could have been killed before I ever got to meet you is…" After that, he fell silent again, brow furrowed in thought. 

  "Yea, one of his dealers. He's in prison now. I moved here a couple months later, as soon as I was healed enough. Don't be sorry, it happened, I survived, and I'm stronger for it. I should be apologizin'. Can you forgive me? For my lies? After this point, you'll have access to all of me. There will only be transparency. I need to remember to trust you to love me regardless."

  "You said it perfectly. Trust me. Don't worry about it, yer already forgiven- just… no more lies man… be straight up," he replied with a small smile. 

  "You have my word. Like I said, I'm an open book- ask away."

  "Hmmm… well tell me about the rest of yer family. You told me about Ethan, but do you have other siblings? What about yer parents?" Dillon asked with a certain reserved caution, as if he felt it was an invasion of privacy to ask. That mindset was Tony's fault, caused by his secrecy. In time, Dillon would see that he didn't have to be so tense. It was a process to get to know someone.

  "Well, uh… Ethan's it, actually. Our folks were killed in a hit 'n run when I was five and he was eight in Dresden, Tennessee. We were in either the foster system or in orphanages for most of our childhood. Ethan did his best to raise me, but it took its toll. It was quite the fight for us to stay together, which was made extra difficult because we have literally nobody else of blood relation to fall back on. It wasn't exactly a fun childhood, but Ethan made it tolerable. 

  When I was fourteen, we met Adrian and Lucy and they were our foster parents for a while. They're fuckin' incredible people, but then they got pregnant with Derrick, then Mavis soon after, so they couldn't afford to house us anymore and the state wouldn't help. I don't blame them, though. They kept in contact and helped however they could. Those two have done so much for us, they're more or less like our parents.

  It kinda sucked after we went back into the system though. Adrian and Lucy were the last of a scattered handful of actually decent foster families. When I turned sixteen, Ethan fought for custody over me and eventually won, then we moved around Pennsylvania as we followed our work." Tony had never opened up so much to anyone before and it emotionally tired him in certain ways. As he spoke his life out loud, it became much more surreal. It made him wonder even more why someone as awesome as Dillon would want someone like him.

  "Well that explains why yer so close to Adrian 'n them. I'm… so sorry about yer parents. I couldn't imagine… Just never forget, you ain't alone. You still got family. You got me, my folks, Adrian and Lucy, Kat, Brenden, Tyler- you got so many people around you that love you- none like me, of course- but they love you all the same," Dillon replied with a shrug and a big smile.

  "Yea, thanks kid. Since I've met you, I've gained the best family one could ask for. S-so- uh, would you still wanna meet Ethan? Knowin' he's an addict 'n all? Like I said, I trust him," Tony said as he laid his hand on Dillon's leg and rubbed it with his thumb mindlessly. 

  "Really, dude? Of course! I have to meet him even more now! It's gotta take an awesomely strong person to overcome an addiction like that. I'm happy you got yer brother back, man." He put his hand on top of Tony's and leaned over to kiss him.

  "Thanks, it really is a relief. I was still kinda mournin' his fall to drugs when we met. But now I got you and my brother. I couldn't be happier." Tony framed his jaw with his hand as he pressed their lips together again, ever so lightly. "Anything else you wanna know?"

  "Uhhh… hmmm. Where were you really on Thanksgiving? You were with yer brother weren't you?" That made Tony's heart skip a beat, but he relaxed when he saw the wry grin Dillon flashed him. 

  "Y-yes, I was. I still went to New Jersey, but I spent Thanksgiving at the halfway house Ethan lives at. The old man that runs it- his name's Charles, you'd live him, he's crazy- and his dog Chloe go around and look for addicts lookin' to get clean. He completed the program over three months ago, but he stayed to help Charles and the newcomers. Th-that's where I uh… met… her. Lisa is still in the program, but she's over halfway done. It is true that Lisa and my brother are exclusive though. You don't gotta worry about that, at least. M'sorry I lied about-," he started, but Dillon held his hand up for silence.

  "S'alright. I forgave you, remember? I just wanted to be sure. I'm still not meetin' the bitch, even if she's with yer brother." Dillon rolled over until he was on top of Tony and kissed him deeper. After a moment, he rolled off and got up. "A minute ago, I was tired enough to pass out, but the dried semen on my chest is rather troublesome, haha. I'm gonna wash up. Care to join me? We can pick up where we left off, just in the shower."

  "Sounds fantastic. Oh! You haven't seen the new shower head! Check it out, it's fuckin' awesome!" 

  He rolled out of bed quickly and grabbed Dillon's hand to lead him to the bathroom. Once Tony whipped back the shower curtain, he saw Dillon's eyes widen as he took in the huge, dinner plate-sized rain-simulation shower head. It was just like the awesome one they had the previous summer in Wildwood, only even larger and it had even more spray settings. Tony had stumbled upon it at Home Depot, when he went to get a replacement bit for one of his air powered grinders. By far the best setting in his opinion was massage, as it blasted water droplets at a fast enough velocity in a pattern. That made it feel like he was in one of those fancy vibration-massage chairs.

  For a shower head, it was rather expensive, but Tony wanted to surprise Dillon. Clearly, he was very happy with it if he went by the luminosity of his smile and the tightness of the hug he gave him. While Dillon set the water up to preheat, Tony exited the bathroom and grabbed a towel along with a couple of washcloths. Before he returned to the bathroom, he made a pit stop to the bedroom to grab his phone. The clock on it read almost two. Damn, their fun had gone on for a while. Perfect.

  "Hahahahaaaaaa! Fuck bro! This is awesome! Look at the settings! Can I put it to "Rainforest" mode?!" He asked, completely ecstatic. Such simple things made him revert to a small child. The kid was too cute sometimes. 

  "Have at it, man. Try all of 'em. Here, scoot over," Tony said as he set his phone down on the sink and put the towels on the floor by the tub. 

  As he stepped in behind him, he closed the curtain and hugged Dillon from behind. Thankfully, his shower was pretty big for the size of the apartment and bathroom both, so they both fit comfortably. The shower head was also large enough that they both got sprayed pretty equally. Already, the bathroom was thick with steam and fantastically warm as Tony ran his hands up and down Dillon's body. His Dillon's body. It made his heart swell with love for him even more to know he was still wanted, even after he shared a couple of his larger insecurities from his past. 

  "Mmm… feels so good, dude. Shampoo me up?" Dillon asked as he picked up Tony's bottle of Pantene from the shelf beneath the shower head and handed it to him. "Ok… back to 'twenty questions'. So, uhm… what was it like? Growin' up in the system, I mean? I hear the foster system in America leaves a lot to be desired."

  While he thought about his answer, Tony squeezed a dime-sized amount of shampoo into his palm and rubbed it between his hands. It was a difficult question to answer with a singular response and he didn't even attempt to until he had lathered the shampoo thoroughly into Dillon's hair. Tony was grateful that he remained silent while he thought. The kid was very intuitive and could probably tell with ease and relative certainty that he needed that quiet time. Finally, he decided what to say after Dillon rinsed the shampoo from his head. Once he started to lather his own head with Pantene, he started to articulate his reply. 

  "Hard. Really hard. Ethan and I faced our share of abuses… but we survived it all. Taught ourselves how to treat injuries sustained from drunk foster fathers and unjust orphanage nuns, learned self-defense to protect each other from punk kids and bullies… It breaks my heart to know how many kids go through the same or worse things that we did. At least Ethan and I had each other. Many ain't so lucky. It took time, but we adapted pretty well. More or less became normal life." Tony rinsed the shampoo from his hair then reached past Dillon to grab his conditioner, which he applied to Dillon first. It took a moment for him to respond, but he finally did.