What Family Means

"Like I said that isn't love! Would you beat up someone you love to show you love them?!" Shion yelled again her face completely red in rage.

"No of course... not...." Huh? But, I'm sure they loved me though? They always said it was because they love me though, why... "Why would a family lie to their son?"

"Because they didn't see you as their son," Shion responded flat out, but they always loved me? Didn't... they...?

Ah, what's this? Why is there water falling from my eyes? Are these tears? But... good boys don't cry.

"There must be a leak in the tent." Standing up quickly I covered Shion with a nearby cape and looked up but there was no hole.

"Agashi..." Looking back down Shion is hugging me tightly, "It's okay."

But a good boy doesn't cry.... a good boy doesn't get angry.... a good boy treats their family with love always.... good boys are loved by their family... I am a good boy, aren't I?

So why am I crying? Ah, this feeling... it's sadness, right? But it's such a brutal sadness... why do I feel this way? Did they not love me? But they said...

"But they said they love me...." I replied with a smile looking down at Shion and patting her head, "I'm sure you're just mistaken."

"It's okay," Shion repeated why is she repeating that? Why does my heart feel so much heavier? Why is water still coming out from my eyes?, "It's alright, let go."

Let go? Let go of what? I'm not holding onto.... anything...

I-I am fine.

"I'm fine!" I shouted, but even so, the water did not stop falling. It tastes salty. When was the last time I cried? I can't remember.

They... didn't love me did they... I see you now.

I was unloved until the very end.

Even Amiya did not love me, she probably hated me just like my family did... what? They hated me. Why did I think that? They love me. No, they hated me.

"It's okay, let go." Shion's voice spread out again like a wave.

That's right...

I remember now.

--

"Agashi! Get here this instant!" My mother's voice.

Ah, I remember this.

"Yes, mother!" No, cover your head quickly!

"What is this? Agashi? Aren't you a good boy?" She said pointing to a spot on a pan that had been slightly unclean.

"I cleaned it right, mother I swear-!" Bang! I really got hit without even being given a chance to explain huh. That wasn't me but dad who had used it and put it back without cleaning.

I remember now.

They never noticed me unless something was wrong.

They never applauded my achievements.

They never let me explain anything.

They never gave me a hug.

They never gave me a toy.

They never listened to me.

They never took me out.

They never loved me...

...Family huh...

What a sham.

"It's okay, let go." Shion repeated for the third as I felt something snap inside me forcing me to my knees despite there being no injuries.

"I..." am so pitiful? Now a princess fallen from grace is needed to comfort me? I may not have been loved but that doesn't mean I didn't learn anything.

If anything, I'vel earned to be strong, and being fragile isn't apart of that hard-learned lesson.

"Shion, thank you, I'm okay now." Standing up I felt different, almost unnoticeably, maybe I'm imagining things?

"Are you sure?" Shion reached up touching my face where the tears had since stopped running.

I'm sure that had Dra not fallen she would have become a princess beloved by her people... I'm certain of it.

"I'm sure, fragility is not my way, this has been nice and I understand some things now but, it's your turn." I smiled a genuine smile, I feel happy.

Hm?! Happy? This is happy? I see so this is happy. I've felt this before though? Hm, not the same. Maybe that was something different because this is definitely happy.

"Then, can you tell me more about your family if that's okay with you?" Jumping right in huh. Well I mean. I have nothing to lose, maybe I'll be even happier... not. 

But I will not back down, my past is not my future.

I'll crush it here and now.

Just like that, I began explaining my family life getting corrected regularly when I'd use the wrong words to describe things like calling a scene loving out of instinct when it was truly not so.

After around a half hour Shion told me to stop.

Standing up with tears in her eyes she gave me another hug.

"Now that I think about it, this is the third time I've been hugged in my life huh... oops...." Balls, I said it out loud, why do I keep saying these things out loud? Am I self-destructing? Wait. My first ever hug was Shion covered in blood, wasn't it?

"Don't worry Agashi!!! I will give you plenty of hugs from now on!!!!" Shion shouted tearfully suddenly grabbing my arms.

"What are you doing? Why are you...?" She seems to be trying to pull my arms around her? Huh wait... Ohhh... Ohhhhhhhhh!

Raising up my arms I hugged her back tightly, so soft, why is she so soft? Is she okay? "Why are you so soft?"

I guess that's my question there.

"Because hugs are soft." She replied hugging me even tighter.

I can feel her heartbeat. This is new. She seems healthy as a horse with how fast it's beating. Could that be bad? Doesn't it normally not beat that fast?

"Are you okay? Your heart's beating like crazy?"

"D-don't say those sorts of things! And it's not your turn!" Shion replied sitting on my lap, "Tell me about your friends."

"Didn't have any." That was easy, "What's your favorite candy?"

She just hugged me again, that's four times now! Is this what people call adult life? It's really a lot! I'm feeling a bit nervous even! Wait! So this is nervous!

"If you keep hugging me after every question then you might as well just not let go," I said holding her tightly.

"That's a great idea!" Shion replied nuzzling her head into my chest, "And my favorite candy is Rotie, what did you do for fun?"

"Work at the dojo, though it has long since gone out of commission, it was destroyed." The old man had to pay for his granddaughter's education and wedding so he went bankrupt pretty quick, wonder how he's doing?

"I see." She replied, "Sorry."

"For what?" She didn't say anything wrong? It was just a question.

"For making you remember that."

"Your saying that now?" I replied only to get hit in the chest.

"I did that earlier because you were defiling what love is." Shion said passionately before changing the subject, "Your turn."

Just like this the day passed going back and forth, of course, I never mentioned anything about high technology but I did tell the truth, just certain truths.

"I have to go meet with Surnova, wait for me here, I will be back." I said standing up though she continued to cling to me, "Please, I need to go."

"Fine, but you come right back here!" Shion said demandingly, she's grown a bit arrogant huh.

I like that part of her too though. 

As I left the tent I could hear light sniffling sounds and as soon as I turned around I found Alias jumping into me and tackling me to the ground, the other soldiers coming over quickly and taking him away without a word.

"What the hell just happened??" As I was about to go investigate I realized that I was going to be late if I dragged on here any longer the sun soon to come over.