Chapter V - Confidential

“Shuta,” the only word he said while his eyes widened in extreme surprise. “Anong nangyari?” he queried as he almost jumped out of bed. “M-May nangyari ba sa'tin?” he added, standing next on the bed.

Sh*t, I can't remember everything! Ang naaalala ko lang ay nasa Sixty's Bar kami drinking ourselves to death while we're getting to know each other. After that... after that, I could no longer remember what happened!

His eyes wandered at the floor and sh*t, our clothes were there as well as our undergarments! SH*T!!! I hit my forehead with my palm at my own stupidity.

“WAAAAAAAH!” We suddenly both screamed together.

I have been in six relationships, but none of my exes touched me! Hindi ako katulad ng mga kabataan ngayon who enjoyed their youth too much to the point that they even allow themselves to enjoy the pleasure of premarital s*x without anticipating what will be the consequences of their actions.

Hindi ako ganyan... dati! I'm a virgin, but sh*t, not anymore! Sapalagay ko ay I made no different from these youths today!

“M-Masakit ba, Missy?” he asked. I know he's pertaining for my something down there dahil doon siya nakatingin! Damn!

Napatingin ako roon at... nothing's covering me! He has the comforter, wrapping himself. God! I tried to cover my private parts with my hands.

“C-Can you please give me that—” I stopped and glared at him with annoyance when I saw him trying to hide his laughter as he's eyeing me narrowly!

“Nakita ko na 'yan kagabi, Missy, wala na tayong dapat pang itago,” natatawang aniya!

“Damn you!”

By now I am feeling very disappointed and upset. Disappointed in myself for letting things ended up like this and upset because how can he pulled some sh*tty joke in this kind of situation? This is a freaking serious matter!

“That's not mine!” I  yelled at him in wrath when he handed me his dress.

“Ay, sorry, ito pala dress mo, suotin mo muna.” I get my dress from him as fast as possible and wear it in an instant.

Oh, my god! My precious thing down there feels so painful when I moved a bit! Sh*t!!!

I sat down on the bed with my back against the headboard, trying to remember everything that happened last night.

“Anong naaalala mo?” I asked with knitted brows.

He sat silently at the edge of the bed, stroking his chin, and looking fixedly at me, trying to remember something as well. But I am a hundred percent sure that we really had done it, we had s*xual intercourse! I saw red stains on the bedsheet!!!

“Shuta, oo, naaalala ko na! Tinanong kita kung ‘V’ ka pa ba and you said yes! Wow, Missy, ako naka-una?” he asked with a shade of surprised expression in his face.

Sorry, but please, allow me to keep cursing. Sh*t, damn this!!!

“Manyak ka!” sigaw ko sa kaniya.

“Oy, kung umiral 'yong kamanyakan ko kagabi baka mas wild pa nangyari sa atin.” He's now grinning from ear to ear!

I get one of my pillows and my arm snaked out in one long arc as I hit him full force. “YOU REMEMBER EVERYTHING!” I yelled at him.

“Konti nga lang ang naaalala ko, Bakla ka, mga sweet moans mo, gano'n—aray!” Well, I just hit him again with the same strength! This gay is a damn pervert!

“You were aware when we're doing it last night, am I right? You raped me!”

“Hoy, 'wag ka nga! Hindi babae ang nirerape ko, bakla ako, Missy, baka nakakalimutan mo. In fact, ikaw 'yong unang babaeng nakachug-chugan ko.”

Ugh!!! Damn that chug-chug!

“Would I feel proud then?” I asked with a trace of sarcasm in my voice.

It made him placed in silence. He stares straight in my eyes for a second. “I'm sorry,” he apologized sincerely, in a straightforward manner. It feels like the ambiance is now turning the awkward situation into a dramatic moment. With a sigh that came from his soul, he bowed politely, and in his most dignified and genuine voice, he said, “hindi ko talaga alam na gano'n na 'yong nangyari, Corazon, if I was aware, kaya ko namang kontrolin ang sarili ko. Sorry ulit.”

I released a heavy sigh. “It was a mistake we both committed.” I tried to smile but I'm not sure what was shown in my face. “Naniniwala pa naman ako sa s*x after marriage, but what else can we do now? We can never undo what happened last night. We have no choice at all but to accept it and forget it afterward,” I said sternly. The tears were already rising to my eyes, but I kept my voice steady.

“Pero, may nawala sa'yo.” When our eyes met, the assumption of guilt was highly visible in his eyes.

Yes, he's definitely right, I lose something very valuable. I lose my virginity! The most precious gift I could give to my future husband someday was lost in an instant! 

I shifted my gaze away from him. “But still, no one should be blamed, hindi naman natin alam na mangyayari pala 'yon,” I said in a low voice that was almost a whisper.

The room was filled with silence to the point that I could actually hear his deep breaths. I expelled a long, heavy sigh. I've never imagined that of all people, a gay will devirginize me at the age of 24!

I am planning to get married at 27 or 28 and I've been envisioned to give up my holy virginity at the same age, not just to anyone, but only to my husband!

Pero, ano ang nangyari ngayon? Isinuko ko mahiwagang perlas sa isang sirena! I've thought unexpected things are the best, pero hindi pala.

“Corazon, I'm sorry, sorry talaga,” muli niyang sabi at bahagya akong ngumiti.

“I know that we're on the legal age already at alam na natin 'yong nga ginagawa natin, but please, this must be kept secret, okay?” I made sure.

“Confidential naman talaga 'to, Missy, don't worry atin-atin lang 'to.” I smiled once more with what he said.

“Do you wanna take a shower first before leaving? You can freely use the bathroom,” I offered, he just nods and gets his clothes that were scattered on the floor.

“Thank you,” he said, wholeheartedly, and stood up—naked!

“Tumakbo ka nga, Bakla!” sigaw ko at natatawa naman siyang tumakbo papuntang bathroom. My God this gay!