Chapter Two

A candlelight dinner under the moonlight in an open restaurant is a very romantic setting for a two person who is very much inlove with each other.

And I am very lucky for having a hopeless romantic kind of boyfriend. 

I couldn't ask for more. I have the most promising career. And the most handsome, hardworking, understanding and intelligent man is my boyfriend.

They say that if a man invited you to a dinner like this, it meant something.

But for me, this is just a usual dinner that we often do after not seeing each other for a months. 

He often take me to this kind of restaurant so I did not expect that he has another plan on this evening.

I was very shocked when he kneeled infront of me with a 2.5 carat diamond studded ring in his hands.

"Alessana babe, we've been together for a decade now. I already planned my future with you. And I can't picture myself growing old without you in every waking day of my life. Will you marry me, and give me the priviledge to be the father of your children?" My mouth hang open because of what he said. I couldn't utter a word because of shock.

I was lost for words because I don't know what to say. 

I already knew before that we will end up in marriage and everyone is expecting it to happen but I didn't expect it this soon. Not when I already signed a two years contract again.

I am the most in demand supermodel in New York and my career is on it's peak right now. While Alexander works in the Philippine Navy and was promoted last year as the new Lt. Commander at the age of 30. He is too young to become a lieutenant colonel but they based his promotion on his good performance. 

I am very proud of what he achieved. He deserve it because I know that he worked hard for it.

He is the most understanding and loving boyfriend. Not to mention that he has the looks that every man envied to have.

His newly army cut suits him. I can now have a better view on his perfectly shaped jaw. I love how his amber eyes change it's colors when it illuminated in the moonlight. His pointed nose shouts arrogance. I stared at his thin kissable lips and just by imagining how that lips locked mine makes me yearn to kiss it until our lips get swollen. 

I suddenly swallowed because of what I thought.

I breath deeply. 

I will surely hurt him with my answer but what will I do? I can't just back out now, I don't want to them to call me unprofessional. 

They already expect too much from me and I can't just turn them down now.

'So, you're turning your boyfriend down instead?' I heard the other side of my brain saying.

But I shoved it away. He will understand me, I know he will. 

If there's is someone who can understand me the most, it is no other than Alexander.

"A-alexander, I-m s-sorry. I-i c-cant," I said stammering. I met his gaze and

I saw how his smile slowly fade.

He bend down his head and breath harshly. He grip the box too tight that I think it will break in a seconds by now.

"Why?" He ask in a raspy voice. He raised his head and met my gaze. Pain is visible in his eyes. 

"I-i think, this is not yet the right time for us to get married," I answered. He snorted. He harshly put the small box on top of our table that makes me wince.

I tightly hold the hem of my dress to divert my attention. I can feel my hands getting cold.

He grimaced and a smirk formed on the side of his lips. He stand up and turned away making me see his back. 

"Really? You think so?" He said in a cold but dangerous voice that makes me shiver. He put his two hands on the sides of his pockets. I can feel the building tension between us.

"Do you think 10 years being in a relationship is still short? Is it still too early for us to get married?" He asked sarcastically. 

"Tell me Alessana, do you really love me?" He asked again when I didn't talk.

I badly stared at his back.What kind of question is that? Do he really need to ask me that?

"Ofcourse I love you." I firmly said. "Why are you even asking me that kind of question?" I added, I couldn't believe he is asking me that now. I thought I make him feel it all those years.

I tried to hold his hand but he shove it away. I felt a little pang of pain in my chest because of what he did.

Silence reigned between the two of us. I can actually hear his heavy breathing.

I so much wanted to say yes, but something is bugging me deep inside. I don't think that this is the right time for us to settle down.

We are both busy in our choosen field that we haven't even enough time with each other.

What will happen then if we marry right now?

We can't even stay at home for too long because of the nature of our job.

Knowing him, I don't think he will let me work in New York again if ever we got married.

And I don't think I would want to quit modelling now if he will ask me to do it.

"Really? You love me but you don't want to marry me?" He suddenly said breaking the silence between us.

"I didn't say that I don't want to marry you, I just can't, right now," I explained, and frustatedly sigh. 

"Then explain why?" He impatiently asked.

He suddenly face me. I saw the frustrations in his eyes while looking at me. His lips formed into thin line indicating that he is loosing his patience already.

I want to explain but I don't know how to start.

"I don't understand, you said you love me, but you can't marry me, are you kidding me?" His jaw clenched while he is throwing me a dagger look.

"A-alexander I-i---" 

"I, what?" He cutted me off. He looked at me impatient. His brows knotted.

I breath deeply and said the words that will make him more mad.

"I signed another contract again."

His body became stiff. 

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

He smiled bitterly and shook his head.

"Fuck this life."