2: Fond Memories

After breakfast, I dropped my boys at their campus, Montrose School. This is also where I studied when I was their age. I believe that I won’t reach success at this point without the foundations I gained here.

I have been dropping and picking them for two weeks already. It might be unusual why I personally do this instead of having a driver. I have a number of reasons.

First, my driver for 10 years asked for a month-long leave. Before, he never requested to avail of his leave despite me offering this to him, and as it is also mandated by law. Instead, he monetized his leave credits, which he gives to his family. This time, he requested to avail of his vacation to take care of his sick daughter. Aside from his wages, he also received extra money for the medications of his daughter. Replacing him is not an  option for he’s the only driver I can  trust for my personal errands and travels.

Second, I want to spend more time with Tristan and Casper. Driving them to school and back home gives us time to bond and catch up with them. It is during these times that I get to know them more and they are more open to me. They can even share and ask things to me without worrying about their mom knowing compared to having our conversations during mealtime. Sometimes, I don’t even have time to converse with them at home, especially at times when  I need to spend extra hours at the office.

Third, this gives me the opportunity to visit my alma mater. I have been reminiscing of my days during high school, and being able to be there helps me refresh my memories during those times. There are times that I’m able to roam around the campus when I arrive there ahead of their dismissal. But refreshing my memories by being there, however, makes me feel melancholic as I begin to question my past actions and if I was right with my decisions in life. I’m not supposed to say this because I have a loving wife and two wonderful children, but I still have this feeling of emptiness which may be filled by reliving my memories in school.

There are two other reasons why I drive my children to school, but I will mention them later.

After dropping my kids to school, I head to my office. I actually have a diverse portfolio of investments and companies, most of which I inherited from my father. Because of these diverse investments, I spent most of my time attending various  board meetings and other corporate activities.

But what I consider as my “baby" is the Public Relations firm that I established when I had Casper. My involvement with the various companies expanded my networks and connections, which are instrumental in the expansion of my investments. It is through meeting these people that I get to learn about my gift, and that is to help uplift their public images. My clients, composed of business partners, politicians, celebrities and other personalities, come to my PR firm to improve either their personal or corporate identities. With me is a team that helps me get things done from events coordination, marketing strategies, media relations, social media management and other favors such as swaying public opinion, damage control and propaganda tactics.

Aside from the wider scope of influence that I reach, what I enjoy the most is the constant flow of inside information, which I can use mostly for my benefit and my clients. Using the right information at the right time is key to making our projects a success. The unique working environment, the risks involved and the thrill of getting the job done exhilarates me. And the firm is generously rewarded through substantial fees (with bonuses on top of that) and personal favors given by clients.

Work at the firm today was typical, with monitoring the current status of our particular projects, most of which are product launches and press conferences. One particular project I have to look into was this speech to be delivered by this business executive after their company's stocks plummeted due to issues of mismanagement. We have to make use of careful play of words and appeal to the people to give its stockholders and its patrons a sense of assurance and that they will recover from this mess. Come to think of it, I don’t think sugar-coating words would be enough to relieve doubts of its anxious clientele,  but to restructure the company and ensure that the management be accountable with their actions. However, we were only tasked with making the speech; so we will just stick with that.

Because I think we had things in order, I decided to leave early and go to my barber. Having a short fade haircut not only made my head feel lighter, as I can already feel the breeze through my nape, but also made me look years younger. My silver streaks along the sides were not that prominent because they were closely shaved. I can’t wait to show Lolit and the boys my new look.

I headed back to school to pick up my kids (they will forever be my kids, even though they are now turning into adults). Since I arrived ahead of schedule, I have to park my vehicle at my particular spot in front of the school entrance. This spot was given to us as a token for our family's patronage to the school way back it was established. It was  a family joke that although our ancestors were the ones who provided a grant to build half of the buildings of Montrose, we were only given a single parking slot for that act of generosity. What’s worse is that my parking slot is sandwiched between two large vehicles, making it difficult to park without the risk of hitting either vehicle.

This scenario reminds me of the fourth reason why I like to drop and pick up the kids in school- I love driving. Driving gives me that sense of control and freedom to go places. I love getting lost on unchartered territories while driving and learning along the way. What thrills me the most though is getting through tight spaces, such as this parking slot. I have been driving since I was still in high school. So, when I’ve seen this scenario of a tight space, I just maneuvered my car with ease on reverse gear. Parking is like geometry and physics combined, along with a bit of good luck. Et voila! I’m able to park in my spot without hitting the cars beside me. At this time, I would like to roam around the school, but I’m restricted to staying in my car because the space is too tight to even open my door.

While waiting inside the car, I try to remember the good memories of being in Montrose. I’m like in a semi-trance state where my mind is only filled with those moments while studying in class, to sharing light moments with classmates to helping my teacher do certain favors. This moment of reflection is suddenly disturbed by the bells of the clock tower, signifying the end of class.

I like waiting for my kids in my slot’s vantage point. I get to see everyone who gets out of the campus, and once I see them, I can easily drive my way to the entrance.

But it is not only Tristan and Casper that I’m waiting for, which leads to my final reason why I like driving them to school. Aside from them, I have this particular sights on this student, who usually gets out of the campus ten minutes ahead of my boys. This student is quite tall, light tan complexion with a lean and muscular build. He got short black hair, tapered almond eyes, a sharp nose and heart shape lips. I always look forward to seeing him everyday as he stalls a bit outside the school before heading to his destination. I usually notice him checking on his phone, talking to certain girls, or usually hanging out with his buddy. I always wanted to know the name of this young man, but I always forget to ask Tristan for I think they are of the same age.

I’m quite mesmerized by the looks of this guy, that’s why I call him as my  “crush.” He reminds me of someone I know when I was his age…

---

During my High School years, I remember this guy I fondly call Bok. Bok is of the same height and build with that of my crush, but he has fairer complexion, round eyes that seem to smile when he's happy, same pointed nose, big ears, and thin lips.

During our time, our uniform was different. We were wearing light pink polo uniform instead of the current old rose shirts today. I was wearing black pants, while Bok wears khaki.

Bok usually hangs out at the same spot where my crush usually stays. That’s because Bok is usually waiting for his buddy to get out class, which turns out to be me.

“Bok, sorry for letting you wait ,” I said as he started to cross his arms upon seeing me approach him.
“What took you so long? I’m soaking in sweat here but I can’t change my clothes here,” Bok replied with a look that tells he’s a bit irritated.
I apologized to him saying, “I’m sorry, Bok. Ma’am Connie asked me to do some favors after class.”
"You sure you only talked to Ma’am Connie?” Bok asked with his flat brow raised.
“Yes. Why ask? Are you jealous?” I smilingly answered back.
“Jealous of what? Are you crazy? I’m just asking,” Bok said with a shocked look and trying to veer off his gaze on me.
“Hehe, I’m just teasing you. I know you miss me, that’s why you’re asking. Come, let’s go find someplace to eat. I’m sure you are hungry,” I said as I wrap around my arms around his shoulder, while smiling at him in a teasing and playful way.
“Let go of me! You know I’m all sweaty here!” Bok said feeling disgusted by the situation.
“I don’t mind if you’re sweaty or smelly. I care for you just the same. Hehe,” I answered as we heard to look for a nearby eatery.

Bok had always been special to me. He was the best buddy I ever had. He’s the only one I shared my thoughts, secrets and the best moments in my life. It’s just unfortunate that I haven’t heard from him after High School.

---

After that brief nostalgic moment, I already see Tristan and Casper outside. So, I drove the car by the entrance to pick them up.

“Papa, you look different… in a good way,” Tristan reacted upon seeing my new hairstyle. 
“You like my new look?” I replied while smiling back at them. 
“Ofcourse, Papa. Can we try that hairstyle too?” Casper said while looking at me in awe. 
“It’s up to you. Just tell me so that I can schedule you guys a trip to the barber,” I said confidently. 
“You look good, Papa. You look years younger. It’s like you are just our older brother. Don’t tell me you’re experiencing mid-life crisis,” Tristan teasingly remarked to me. 
“Where did you get that idea?!” I said to Tristan with my brows starting to furrow. 
“Part of our lesson a few days back. They say people who experience that exhibits a sudden change of lifestyle,” Tristan responded still with that teasing smile. 
“I just changed my hairstyle so that I can feel the breeze down my neck. Don’t you like your dad to look good sometimes? You know, I was planning to treat you both somewhere for snacks. But because of someone’s side comment, I changed my mind and decided to head straight at home,” I teasingly riposted. 
“Look what you’ve done. Better take what you said back,” Casper said while holding on to his brother and shaking him. 
“Which one will I take back? The one I said he looks good, or the one I said regarding mid-life crisis?” Tristan wittingly responded. 
“Stop that, brottherrrrrrrr!” Casper remarked while this time, he is shaking his brother more violently.

Seeing them interact that way, I decided to buy them some quick bites at Taco Bell before heading home. Then, we freshened up and relaxed a bit before having dinner. After dinner, the boys proceeded to their rooms to do their homework, while I headed to the Study Room.

At the Study Room, I sat on my armchair and grabbed my yearbook, which I have been doing every night for the past weeks. I always browse on the photos and writings on the yearbook, but I always go to the page where Bok's picture is. As I look into his photo smiling back at me, tears unavoidably fall in my eyes. During that time, Lolit came to check on me and was deeply concerned upon seeing me being emotional.

“Love, please tell me if there’s anything wrong. You have been like this for days. Crying every time you look into your yearbook makes my heart melt. If you have any bad memories, you should let go of it. You have me and your children by your side. That’s something you should be happy about,” Lolit said and she hugged me tightly as she tried to comfort me. 
“I’m not crying out of pain, but I just remember those fond memories during that particular time in my life,” I said assuring her that I’m not sad at all. 
“Does that mean we are not enough that you have to relive the past to feel that happiness?” Lolit started to hint of being insecure over the situation. 
“It’s not like that, Dove. You have always been my source of happiness and inspiration. Looking back at those times make me realize how grateful I am now by having you and our children.” After I said this, I sweetly kissed her left hand to reassure her of my feelings and love for her. 
“You don’t need to say that, Love. I always feel how much you love and care for us. I just don’t want seeing you sad because you never deserve to feel that way. We are always here for you, Love. By the way, have I mentioned that you look good with your new hairstyle? Keep it that way.” After Lolit said that, she kissed me in the forehead and hugged me tight before proceeding to our bedroom.

Although I assured her that I was happy and content, I really wasn’t. I don’t want her to feel this sense of regret and emptiness that I have been keeping inside me all this time. I just didn’t realized it until the time I have been recalling these memories.

This keeps me from wondering: What would be my life if I’m able to get back and do the things that I’m unable to do? Will I be happy today if I made those choices instead? How I wish I could turn back time, and will do anything just to do that.

What if…